"The secret of living with frustration and worry is to avoid becoming personally involved in your own life." -The Great Bodhisattva, Ziggy.
To my astonishment, February is almost over, and reading through my past blogs, my attitude towards Korea and my life here is in need of a serious adjustment. There have been a number of things bringing me down and stomping on my positive spirit here over the past coupple of months. But I am trying to fight them and I feel as though i just may be winning the fight a bit.
Taking this quote into consideration, I believe that I suffer from a dramatic over thinking syndrome, where every small thing is analyzed until it becomes so big that it can't be conceiled or put asside. And becoming so involved in your own life is really exausting. Overwhelmingly so. So I decided to try and get away from myself for a while and go back to do another temple stay at Hwagyesa where I would be able to leave my seeminly large problems behind me and concentrate on something else for a while. I realized that I really love that place and all of the people there. this is the last week of the winter retreat, so the environment there was one of anticipation and celebration. It was pretty uplifting. The daily routine of meditation, chanting, walking and eating lightens up even the biggest pescimist in it simplicity and yet absolute intensity. These people live their lives with conviction and no hesitation and that is really motivating to see. I have definitely made a little small place for myself amonst the residents there. The head monk, Po Hwa Sunim is such a lovely man and a real fan of me as much as I am of him I think. i originally went for 2 days but ended up staying for 5 on his his insistance... hahaha.
My time there gave me the space to come to an acceptance about certain unfortunate realities in my life. One really has to accept before one can move on and forward. And there are always solutions to problems.
Not social enough: friggin pick up the phone
Too heavy: eat less and excercise more
Too far away to go out: stay at other peoples' places
Not moving quickly: clean the shit out of my apartment until I do.
Not creative enough: MAKE time every day for art
Life is full of possibilities and oportunities. Not getting wrapped up and strangled in my own thoughts and overthinking about everything will be my greatest challenge and my biggest impediment towards really neing happy. But it is something to work on.
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