What a wickedly wonderful weekend!

The Lotus Lantern Festival with my new friend Jeremy. My friend from University; Zac, suggested that I add his friend from Kingston, who is also working just outside of Seoul in Incheon. It was great to meet someone from home and the coincidences just kept multiplying from there.

The 2nd annual childrens' charity art auction at Roofers Bar and Grill in Itaewon. It was a really interesting event. Although I don't think that my painting sold very well because they left it to one of the last lots and by that point everyone in the room had already bought at least 1 piece if not several.... Still a really great atmosphere and a rewarding cause.

I bought my family and myself a lantern to hang amongst the thousands of others at Bongeunsa Temple near Samseong stn. I also paid a visit to the special lantern exhibition they have on display "Hope Plane".

There were traditional folk dancers in all of their costumed glory rehersing for the big lantern festival on Sunday. They were so friendly. I spoke with a coupple who were keen to practice their English.

The stone Buddha is the most famous monument at Bongeunsa temple. It is maaaaasive! It is surrounded by high walls and gardens. In front is a large praer space where devotees can come and do their bow out of doors.


Of course there were ceilings of lanterns EVERYWHERE!!!! It is such a magical feeling and sight to walk beneath these temporary rooves of flowers. I also bathed the Baby Buddha. I remember when I was little this was one of my favorite things to do during the childrens services. It was a nice little jog down memorry lane.

What a wonderful weekend. This is the kind of weekend that i have been looking forward to and searching for, for quite a while. Last week was the World DJ Festival. And while that was a very good party, I feel as though this was a great weekend on so many levels. I really needed this boost.

This past week has been an emotional rollercoaster. Things at work have not been amazing. My co-teacher is acting like an immature spoilt brat, and while that might be acceptable for a lot of 22 year old Korean men, I do not wholly appreaciate it when it affect my life personally. I am really hoping that we can find some way to work together and to communicate more openly together because otherwise this is going to be a very long and stressful 3 months coming up.

I have also been having some health concerns. I found a lump in my left breast and trying to explain this to the school nurse in order to have her help me make an apointment with a specialist at the hospital was one of the most stressful and unamusing things I have had to do in a while. However, in the end we got there and the apointment was set.

On Saturday I left my house bring and early with the probable intension of not returning until the next day. I have become very very good at packing an essential purse full of goods that can take me comfortably from one day to the next when i go out on the weekends. The things we do in the name of socializing...

I met the school nurse (who had generously offered to accompany me as a translator) at the subway near the hospital. And thank goodness too, because there were no translators at the hospital that day. The doctor I saw was not a specialist. And although he thought that it was just a cyst due to stess and screwed up hormones, it was still a very stressful event. They made a bunch of other tests for later on this week and then sent me on my way. I am feeling extremely nervous about the whole thing, but I think that I would have had more pronounced or violent symptoms if it were really something very serious like a tumor. So I just have to keep my spirits up and hope for the best.

When I came out of the hospital I was right at COEX, and never having been to the giant shopping plaza before, I thought it was about time to do so. IT IS HUGGGGE! And increadibly overwhelming to be engulfed in so many shops and restaurants and galleries. I don't quite know why Koreans are so fond of the gigantic shopping complexes? I find them incredibly unsettling and confusing, but none the less I made a valliant effort of walking around and checking out all of the stores... (well some of the stores) I eventually gave up and went outside to read my book in one of the gardens around the centre. Much nicer. :) After checking out a map I discovered that i was very close to Bongeunsa temple. I have been meaning to make my way there for ages since it is probably the closest templestay program to where i live.

I was certainly not dissappointed when I got there. In preparation for Buddhas birthday next week, there were lanters absolutely EVERYWHERE!!! It was so colourful and beautiful. After such a nerva racking morning, i instantly felt calmer walking around the quiet and sunny grounds. I decided to purchase myself a lantern. I feel like I could use some help with my luck right now and I have always wanted to make a wish lantern. So I paid the W30,000 and i got to write all of my famillies names and birthdays on the card as well as my wishes for this new year. It was really nice to think that my wishes would be hanging alongside thousands of other lanterns during the birthday celebrations. My camera decided to die on me... great. But I have figured out that if I just look though the viewfinder instead of the screen, I can usually take one picture about every 5 minutes. lol! I was very taken with how peaceful the temple grounds were considering it is smack dab in the middle of the city!!! I will definiteloy be going back there another day. There was a lot more to explore than i had time to on Saturday.

I then headed to the Lotus Lantern street festival in Insa-dong. I ended up meeting up with a new friend, Jeremy, to go off and explore. It was, like many Korean events, slightly random and unorganized, but ultimately visually spectacular and very welcoming. I cursed my dead camera once again, because there were some truely spectacular images waiting to be snapped. Oh well, i shall have to remember them in my minds eye. Afterwards, we went for dinner and spent some time getting to know each other a little better. We ended up eating out way through a LARGE potato pizza AND a salade bar... I have no idea how.. lol, before heading over to Hongdae for this really cool concert.

The concept of the concert was; round robin, where 4 bands set up all of their gear at the same time, and then take turns each playing a song or two and playing in a continuous circle for the entire evening. It was really very cool. The club was the Free Bird, and I think I would definitely go back there for another show. It was full of this very hipster crowd of people. I felt like I was back in art school in Montreal. It was great!!!!! The music was great too, and we had a good time rocking out with the thrash punk and hard rock bands that were playing. We ended up being some of the firsts to arrive as well as some of the lasts to leave the show. I would call that a night well spent. But then we were on the hunt for a Jimjil bang where we would be able to crash for the rest of the evening. A hard feat when neither Jeremy nor I had any idea where we might find one. But in the end, with the help of some Korean, we found our way and I experienced my very first night in a Jimjil bang. SOOOOOOOOOO ODDDDDD!!!! OMG!

There were hundreds of Koreans and foreigners all in their uniforms (baggy shorts and Ts) sprawled on mats across the heated floors sleeping, talking, waltching TV, eating, talking on their phones... wow! What a visual! We each found a mat and went to bed for the night. I can't say that I slept remarkably well, but it was definitely better than staying out until the trains started and making my way back across town. The next morning i wasn't too sure whether i should try to find Jeremy, but I decided that I would just call later on. I had a great shower and soak and then got ready and left for Itaewon.

I got there early enough before the beginning of the auction to go for a coffee and read my book for a while. NICEUH! When I got to Roofers, i could tell that things would not be getting started quite on time, so I took the chace to talk to some of the organizers of the event. I went out for a quick lunch with one of the main executives for the Seoul Artists Collective -Zach Echelberger. I told him that i was very interested in joining the collective and that i could help with any events he needed my help with in the future. He seems like a really nice guy too. I could tell that this was more of the crowd that i was used to hanging out with in Montreal. a bit older, all fairly career oriented and best of all, mostly all university teachers. COOL! Definitely a crowd I would like to hang out with more often. The art auction itself was fun, although I ammm a bit peeved that they left my piece sooooooo long. It did not sell very well. Darn! But when you donate things, they are out of your hands. i ended up buying a small painting by Rita Crocker (the portrait artist that I really admired from the Creatures of Habit Exhibition. In terms of artists to collect, i think that she is extremely tallented and that her work will get more recognition in the future. I would not be surprised if she did really well in the contemporary scene in the next coupple years. Cool!

Afterwards, i headed back to Insa-dong to meet up with folks for the Lotus Lantern Parade. I was supposed to meet up with Silvia and Jeannie, but I couldn't get ahold of them, so when I got a text from Jeremy asking me to join his party, i jumped on that. When I got there I found out that the coincidences about to insue were hillllarious and absolutely random. So it turns out that Jeremy is friends with Jackies' boyfriend Kyle. And so, when I arrived there was Jeremy, but also, Jackie, Kyle, Steph, Tina, and a coupple of other people I didn't know. How funny is that? What is even funnier is that Jeremy and I had run into Steph and Tina the night before as well. We then proceeded to go to Mr. Pizza (AGAIN!! LOL!) for dinner. Oh, how funny. But the best part of the evening was the lantern festival.. Who would have ever thought you could do so much with a wire frame and paper??? Incredible. My favorite were the anamatronic 30 foot long fire breathing dragons!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeehaw.

By all acounts a vvvvveeeeerrrrryyyyy good weekend! I jam super de duper packed weekend, but who said that was a bad thing? So more news later, but hopefully things keep looking up for me and I can start to live my life in a more positive way here.

Singing to myself

I want to dream and then I want to wake up
I want to break, but i don't want to break up
I want a song
I dont want to have to sing it.
I want your love right now.
Could you bring it? Could you bring it?
I got under your rolling thunder.
You're the lightning, the right thing,
You've got my number.
The weather's wicked this time of year.
Staring out the window watching your tears,
Rolling down the face of the earth.
Tears roll down the face of the earth.
Tears roll down the face of the earth.
I saw it with my own two blue eyes.
Two blue eyes.
Two blue eyes.
True love is always complicated.
Free and easy is overrated.
My classic beauty, the West coast mystry,
The rest is history.
Oh, are you hiding?
Or, oh, are you seeking?
All I really want to know is what your ruby lips are speaking?
I got under your rolling thunder.
You're the lightning, the right thing,
You got my number.
The weather's wicked this time of year.
Staring out the window,
Watching your tears.
Roll down the face of the earth,
Tears roll down the face of the earth,
Tears roll down the face of the earth...
I saw them with my own two blue eyes.
Tears roll down the face of the earth,
Tears roll down the face of the earth...
Who do you take love?
Who do you leave love?
How come happiness is something you can not conceive of?

-The Joel Plasket Emergency "Face of the earth"

May may just be a fresh start towards a better me.

On Childrens' Day, May 5, 2010, i attended a peaceful protest outside of the Japanese embassy with my friends helen and Kate in support of "The Korean Council for the women drafted for military sexual slavery by Japan". for more information on this extremely sad and worthy issue visite http://www.womenandwar.net

This group meets infront of the Japanes embassy every Wednesday at 12noon to demand restitution for the war crimes commited against Korean women during WWII.

You can sign a petition in suport of the demands to the Japanese government. This was the most peaceful, spriritual and touching protest I have ever participated in. There were children singing and dancing for the "Halmonis" the surviving victimes known as "the comfort women".

This has been a very pivotal week for me in Korea. It has been a week where I have had to completely re-adjust my mindframe, re-asses my values and my reasons for being here and also remind myself about my long term goals both personally and professionally.

After the drama of last week, I felt that it was really important this week to evaluate the issues that were brought against me and to take them into consideration head on.

I neither feel happy nor proud of the fight that I had with Sarah last weekend -who likes to fight?- but I think it was obviously something that had been building up for along time that needed to come out. I flatly refuse to be treated like shit by anyone, and I should have put an end to this a long time ago. While I am not pleased about the way in which things came out, I am in fact relieved to be out of such a degrading and poisonous environment. I feel that this break will give me a chace to re-direct my life here in Korea for the better. Sometimes it takes a hard slap in the face to wake up and realise that you need to make changes in your life if you want to remain on the track that you set out for yourself. Life is full or re-callibrations. This would be one of those moments when my life is in need of re-callibration and fine tuning.

So this week I worked on three things. :

1) Trying to get in touch with other friends in Seoul and working on strengthening those relationships. And acknowledge that my passive behavior was partially responsible.

2) Begining to motivate myself to get back into my former wonderful physical and mental shape.

3) Begin to re-evaluate my reasons for being here and focus on my short and long term goals.

Firstly, I know that I am a social person. I like meeting new people and hanging out in a variety of different groups of people. I always have. I have many sides to my personality and so I find that I like having many different kinds of people as friends, so that I can enjoy and explore those many different colours of my pesonality with like minded people. Since being here, I have made a lot of aquaintances, but I have not put in the necessary work to foster many of those relationships, and thus, have ended up dependent on just a few key relationships. So this week I have been phonning people and trying to get out and make new aquaintances. And I feel that I am on the right track. This experience has brought me closer to a coupple girls in particular who shared the experience last week with me; Helen and Kate. I also met a coupple of their friends; Erin and Lauren, who I quite like and have exchanged numbers with. I also decided to go ahead with my intention of attending the "World DJ Festival" and went on line and put out a call for people going to the festival. Consequently, I am going to the festival this evening with a group of 10 or so other public school teachers that I met once or twice earlier this year. I am hoping to make some more connexions through that and also to just have fun meeting new people. I have proven to myself that I am capable of making new friends ANY DAY, if I approach it with the right attitude. I have to fight my passive behavior and actively search out and try to meet new people. Listening, showing interest in other peoples lives and being open goes a long way.

Secondly, I have to acknowledge and begin to take steps toward getting back into shape because it is causing me a lot of unhappiness and frustration in my life right now. I know what to do. I have been an athlete most of my life and I have been successful with weight loss in the past. I just got lazy. I just got lazy and began to tell myself that I didn't mind the extra pounds, that maybe it was just who I was and that if people liked me, that my weight wouldnt matter. But the fact of the matter is that I have been progresively allowing myself to become more and more unhealthy and unhappy in my own body. This unhealthy body has been the gateway towards an unhealthy mind (creating a circle of negative thinking that has caused me a lot of suffering this year). And after having been in such fabulous shape a the past coupple of years i know what the difference is and how bad i actually feel right now. So I bought a gym membership on Monday and I worked out 3 times this week. It was pitiful in comparison with the weight i was lifting the pace and distance I was running before, but you have to start somewhere and the most important part is TO START!!!!!! Now that I am on the pathway, I don't think that I will fall off of it. I want to feel strong and comfortable in my body again. I want to wear dresses and shorts and have a slim waist. I want to have people comliment me on my looks and tell me that I am strong and healthy. I don't want people to stare at me in disrespectful ways. Especially being in korea where the women are ALLLL tiny and so concerned with their appearnces, it is extremely difficult to find clothing that fits me and not feel like a ginormous blimp!!!!!!! This is something that I have been putting off and pushing away for a while now, and it has got to change. And it will change.

Thirdly, I feel as though I have lost track of my reasons for being here. Why did I come here? What do I want to acomplish? Where do I see myself in 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 years? What are my professional goals concerning my teaching and my art practice? I came here to pay back debt, but I have not been managing my money very well recently, and it is time to become more responsible on that front if I ever want to get out of debt. What can I do to enjoy my experience here more? What do I want to do with the time remaining on my contract? What do I want to see? Where do i want to go? What can I do to be a better teacher, co-worker and expat representing Canadian culture? How can I be a more active, generous, productive and happy person? I don't know the answers to all of these questions, but I think it is important to start asking them and to begin chipping away at them slowly but surely. I AM my own person, and I am getting to an age where I can no longer reasonably expect to be assited in my day to day life and troubles. These are problems for which I know the solutions but have not been willing and able to motivate myself to do the hard work necessary to get the job done. Perhaps, I do have, like my mom has pointed out, a "LOW " personality. Something against which I am constantly fighting in order to move forward and not to stagnate and become low and depressive in my life.

It is hard to fight the negative aspects of ones personality, but it is something that I have done successfully in the past and something that I think I am able to do now again. I also have things to look forward to this month. TODAY, I am going to the "World DJ Festival" I am sooooooo excited to see so much live delicious music and to be out in a large croud experiencing Korean Indie and youth culture. Next week is the "Lotus Lantern Festival". I have plans to attend each day with Silvia, Jeannie and others. I also have the "Fundraising Art Auction" at Roofers next week in which I have 1 painting on the block and i am hoping to make some new and important art contacts. I have to get a CV and some cards made this week in preparation of that. The week after that is Buddhas' bithday and a long weekend. I was origianlly intending to go to one of the three jewel temples near Pusan, but I have recently concocted a plan with Helen to go to TAIWAN for the weekend and you know, I think i am going to go for it. JUST FREEKING GO FOR IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!