A Korean Christmas; Take 3

What is Christmas? It is tenderness for the past, courage for the present, hope for the future. It is a fervent wish that every cup may overflow with blessings rich and eternal, and that every path may lead to peace.
- Agnes M. Pharo



Christmas - that magic blanket that wraps itself about us, that something so intangible that it is like a fragrance. It may weave a spell of nostalgia. Christmas may be a day of feasting, or of prayer, but always it will be a day of remembrance - a day in which we think of everything we have ever loved.
- Augusta E. Rundel

Christmas! The very word brings joy to our hearts. No matter how we may dread the rush, the long Christmas lists for gifts and cards to be bought and given--when Christmas Day comes there is still the same warm feeling we had as children, the same warmth that enfolds our hearts and our homes.

-Joan Winmill Brown

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.

- Kin Hubbard

Our hearts grow tender with childhood memories and love of kindred, and we are better throughout the year for having, in spirit, become a child again at Christmas-time.

- Laura Ingalls Wilder

I love the Christmas-tide,

and yet, I notice this, each year I live;

I always like the gifts I get,

But how I love the gifts I give!

- Carolyn Wells

May the Holiday Season bring only happiness and joy to you and your loved ones.

From Home to home, and heart to heart, from one place to another. The warmth and joy of Christmas, brings us closer to each other.

- Emily Matthews

I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round, as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable time; the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys.

- Charles Dickens

Musical Madness and Markets; Finding the Christmas spirit

December has finally arrived in Seoul and with it has come colder weather. It's to be expected, naturally. But more unexpected in Korea, a largely Christian country, is that the spirit of Christmas is -strangely enough- often hard to find. This will be my 3rd Christmas away from home and although i have now found a way to cope with a lack of family near by, it still feels like the hardest time of year to be away from the rituals and traditions of Western culture and family get togethers.



Fortunately, in Seoul, where the greater number of foreigners makes us a visible minority, people have taken pains to bring those smalls joys like good home cooking and small get togethers more available. These can be found in the form of traditional christmas markets held predominantly by the European communities of Seoul. With my friend Lindsay at my side, we have now ventured to explore, feast, and spend far too much money at both the "European Christmas Market" and the 'French Christmas Market' on the first and second weekends of December.
http://www.korea4expats.com/events-in-korea-European-Christmas-Market-2-4-Dec-2011-Seongbuk-gu-Seoul-5578.html

http://www.korea4expats.com/events-in-korea-French-Xmas-Market-Sat-10-Dec-2011-Seocho-gu-Seoul-5621.html



On the first weekend of December, Lindsay and I were able to feast on French sausages, eat Dutch pea soup and ginger bread, and scarf down Belgian waffles and German mulled wine! Excellent! It was also nice to hear everyone around us speaking a cacophony of languages around us. It was like being back home at the Saturday morning famers market only slightly more expensive ....and asian. We even got the chance to have our picture taken with a Finish Santa Clause!

On the second weekend of december, we ventured out to Seocho-gu and the French district to share in the delicacies once more. Chocolatines, pains aux raisains, pain de campaigne, wine, Dijon mustard, and several other yummy nibblets were purchased with glee. We also spent probably way too much money on some art prints cut from vintage French journals and magazines. But there's something about the frenzy or a market environment which makes you want to crack out your wallet and buy everything in sight! *sigh...

I feel it in my fingers,

I feel it in my toes,
Christmas is all around us,

and so the feeling grows.

Wagwak in action at the Freebird

Early December has also provided some great music listening opportunities. The annual 'Rubber Seoul' fundraiser for AIDS awareness and research was held on the first weekend of the month in Hongdae. Over six venues, some of the mentionables were bands like Wagwak (pictured above), The Rock Tigers and my faves, Apollo 18! It was a great night of gin drinking and head banging! My neck was sore for 3 days afterwards, which to me is proof enough that it was a rocking good time!!

Apollo 18: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tsrwLKRg_Y

The Rock Tigers: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_aKnwNkg_w8

Wagwak: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gV8DIxZb0L4&feature=related

December also ushered in the famous Scottish band "Mogwai" for their first official visit to Korea at AX Hall in Seoul on November 30, 2011. The audience comprised largely of foreigners and extremely young Korean posers who probably only became aware of the existance of this band when tickets went on sale in September.



I couldn't help thinking while they were playing that the difference between a PROFESSIONAL rock band and an amateur band is ABSOLUTELY ASTOUNDING!!!! They were soooooooo freaking tight and on the ball!! Their sound was increadible and their unity and communication on stage were perfectly synchronized! It's amazing what practice will do! LOL! I listened and was struck not only by the amplitude of their sound but also the influence of their sound on other bands like 'Muse' and a lot of the Korean bands I like, like 'Apollo 18'. The tickets were pricy (the advanced tickets I bought were 66,000 Won), but the venue was great, the set was long, and the music was impactful! You have to pay for good music here, but in the end, it's totally worth it.

Lastly, which perhaps I should have mentioned first, my artwork -the painting 'Full Moon' has been on display in the most recent I.A.C. group exhibition 'Erotic Fantasies' at 'Cafe Blind Spot' in Hondae near Sangsu Stn. !!!! Along with 8 other international artists, we explored the theme of erotic and exotic in our new works and had a very successful opening show. The exhibition runs until December 17th and I would encourage anyone who hasn't gone to go and check it out!! http://koreaiac.com/upcoming.htm

http://www.korea4expats.com/events-in-korea-IAC-Group-Exhibition---Erotic-Fantasies-to-17-Dec-2011-Hongdae-Seoul-5558.html

Perhaps, most excitingly was that my work was featured in the Korean Herald's review of the show!! This is super exciting and I think I need to jump forward from this and continue to work on my portraiture and building up a body of work in order to maybe hold a solo show here in the near future.

http://www.koreaherald.com/lifestyle/Detail.jsp?newsMLId=20111122000544

Anything is possible and hard work can produce miraculous results.

Getting down to business

"Full Moon", Acrylic on Canvas, 60 X 90cm, 2011.

Painted for the International Artist Communities group exhibition "Erotic Fantasies" at Cafe Blind Spot in Hongdae. November 26 ~ December 17, 2011.

As my first semester as a full time Professor begins to decend into a frenzy of panic and marking, I have to say that I've never felt quite so happy and content with myself and my life since coming to Korea. I am actually happy here!? How did this happen? How is it even possible that I could come to a place of acceptance and contentment when for so long I was miserable, homesick and literally sick from culture shock and a lack of regional anti-bodies?

I suspect a lot of it comes from the previous mentioned job sattisfaction and actually feeling like I'm doing a worthwhile job on some level. I also feel as though I am being challeneged in new ways and that push is so refreshing after floating in a sea of pure bordome for so long. But it's more than that. I feel at home in my little appartment. It's so quiet and cozy. I enjoy my co-workers not only for their talents and genuine friendliness, but also because for the first time since grad school I feel like I have peers. They can teach me new things and help me become a better teacher and worker. I hope to continue learning and developing professional relationships and friendships with a bunch of them.

Maybe the words I'm looking for are positive outlook and posibly also brighter disposition and sense of meaningful purpose? In any case, it has led to a bit of a transformation for me in the last months. A renewal of energy and determination to continue doing things that I enjoy and becoming involved in activities. I have begun painting again and drawing more and it feels good. I really want to keep working towards having enough paintings to put on a solo show before the end of the school year. Who knows? Anything is possible right?

With the New Year on the horizon, I've been recently thinking of things that I should add to my list of goals and while some goals have been achieved since last year and some others have still not changed and or been acheived, I'm happy to find that I do have new goals to put down on that list that I think will bring new meaning to my life in Korea.

And while it could be the left over turkey sandwhiches (from the staff American Thanks Giving we had yesterday) or the residual paint fumes from painting in my very tiny appartment, I think that the feeling of contentment that I have comes from a deeper degree of having made a good stable situation for myself here. I can all of the sudden start to see my future here as something not to dread but rather, as something to look forward to. And that, well that is something to be both thanksful and excited about.

Here are some links to the exhibition and some reviews of the show.

http://www.koreaherald.com/lifestyle/Detail.jsp?newsMLId=20111122000544

https://www.facebook.com/#!/events/225333014201175/

Feeling the pieces of the puzzle falling into place.

October has slowly been bleeding into November in a sea of brightly colored leaves, outrageous Halloween events and concerts. November has also marked the sh*t hitting the fan part of the college semester, where everything seems to be racing forward towards finals at a dizzying pace. Korea, unlike Northern Ontario seems to think that Fall should last from September allllll the way till December, and for that I am eternally gratefull. The weather has been absolutely fantastic this Fall and has kept the party going for all who can keep up with it to enjoy.

I've found that as I become more used to my job and my routine, time has been slipping by more quickly than ever, but that in this time, I seem to be able to do more and have more fun doing it that I ever have since coming to Korea 2 years ago. Perhaps this means that I have truely reached the acceptance phase of culture shock and that I am more or less ready and able to deal with all that is thown at me in the context of living and surviving in this country. It may also be that the amount of time that I spent stressing out and being angry and poorly rested at my last job has been and continues to be slowly replaced by more energy, more creativity and many more hours of unbroken and restful sleep in my new living and working environment. Don't get me wrong, my new job is a LOT of hard work and is challenging me in ways that I've never been challenged in a work environment, but rather than get me down, this seems to be motivating me and helping me find new interests in working towards goals in education, teaching and art.

A new degree of empowerment and interest in life and the things around me has come over me recently and for that I am very thankful. I was begining to worry that there was something wrong with me, that I would forever be reduced to a lazy unmotivated lump of angst. I'm happy to say that a lot of the bitterness and angst and frustration that seemed to cling to my life in Korea is slowly evaporating and leaving in it's place a freshly renewed interst in learning and improving my abilities and talents.

Chris and I enjoying the set at Boys Noize


Definitely one of the best concerts I've ever been to in Korea, despite the fact that all they were serving was extremely overprices Jagermiester.

My Japanese Victorian inspired Gothic Lolita look

Me and the lead singer of the 'Rock Tigers' ~Velvet Gina, on Halloween http://www.reverbnation.com/therocktigers

For example, I have always liked to sew and to design costumes based on a lot of research, and yet this is something that I have rarely done in the past several years and never done in Korea. So I took it upon myself this Halloween to be something that would require me to make a costume and have fun researching and making it in the process. I decided to be a goth. I think there's always been a small part of me that wanted to be goth. Yet I didn't want to be an angsty goth, I wanted to be something Asian and something Victorian. I found out soon enough about the Lolita Goth movement in Japan and other countries around the world which takes Victorian Goth and makes it cute with Asian female sensibilities. For me, living curently in Korea, this seemed to be the perfect fit. Sothing dark and costumy without being too dark or concerned with death. I like gothic, but no so much the macabre. http://www.japaneselifestyle.com.au/fashion/gothic_lolita.html

So out of this, was born my Gothic Lolita costume, which was worn to great effect and got many positive reviews. I was even told by more that one person that I should take up this look more regularily as it suited me very well. LOL! I went to see Boys Noize, a German Electronic DJ, with my friend Chris in costume and had a great time. It was made even better by being in costume and I can't wait to try my hand at more embellishments in the future. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boys_Noize

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VwzRLgJorYQ

Last weekend, I took a second trip with I.F.X. to Seoraksan mountain. http://english.knps.or.kr/Knp/Seoraksan/Intro/Introduction.aspx?MenuNum=1&Submenu=Npp

It was a lot of fun, but the best part of the trip was not necessarily the hiking (not really a big fan) but the hot springs that we went to on the Sunday before heading back to Seoul! I think I've been in Korea long enough to have been a lot of places and done a lot of things. It comes back to me once in a while, such as with the hot springs, that there are a lot of things that I love about this country but don't so often enough because they feel like they're a novelty rather than something that can be integrated into my life on a more regulara basis.

So in looking forward towards the next months of my time in Korea, I want to make a concerted effort to keep this renewal of enthusiastic and creative energy going in as many ways as possible. I am working on painting for an upcoming exhibition with the I.A.C. and intend to make my art a stronger focus in my life. I recently attended an EFL Conference sponsered by Cambridge University Press at Sookmyung Womens University and was reminded not only that I really do LIKE academics but that I really SHOULD be studying more about my field and how to become a better EFL instructor. http://koreabridge.net/event/seoul-cambridge-day-xi-2011-sookmyung-university-november-2011 Books to read, courses to take, materials to improve and art to see and read about. All this will help me find ways to make my life and work more meaningful and interesting while I continue to explore and live through the adventures of being and Expat in South Korea.

October, not ready to say goodbey to summer!

One of the best things about living in Seoul is the fact that Spring comes so early and Summer stays so late. I took some time last week to get outside and enjoy some of the tourist attractions with my lovely new French aquaintance Ginie Chaseigne. We trolled Insa-dong for some good deals and to soak up some late afternoon sun.


HBC is possible the most unpretensious foreigner friendly area of Seoul. My friend Dara plays regualr gigs at several bars in the area and I often go to watch him and hang out with him and his girlfriend (also my friend) Jesse. Here we are at Bar Carmen having a great ol'time.



Finding reliable friends in Seoul is often difficult, but I've been lucky enough to find some very great ones. I've know Jesse and Dara for almost a year now, and I hope to continue being friends with them for a long time to come.




October also brings with it a host of musical events. Most notable amongst them would be the Global Gathering DJ festival. This year it was held on October 8th at Hanganjin Park in near Worl Cup Stadium in the North West of the city. As far as DJ festivals go, it was increadibly odddddddd since all of the biggest DJs seemed to perform before 6pm???????!!!!!!!! I was increadiblt pissed off when I got to the festival at 8pm to find that the large acts had mostly finished!

The festival was then moved into several small tents and continued long into the night. It was a shame, but c'est la vie. To be honest, for the cost of the ticket I was very underwhelmed and for me, this really sealed the last nail in the coffin for my willingness to participate in any future Korean music festivals.

The silver lining of the night was that i was there with a fun group of people who always seem to be able to make the best out of any situation. It's also possible that they were all just terribly drunk. Who can argue with someone who is three sheets to the wind about the prudence of stage arrangements and artist lineups? Love you guys!

In the end though, it's all experience under the ol' belt and when it comes down to it, going to shitty concerts is still preferable to staying in and doing nothing. i just wish it didn't come with such a large price tag!

Finding a new stride and getting back to business.

I wont deny that the past couple of months have been hugely monumental for me in my personal life in Korea and my professional chareer as a teacher. While beginning a new job is never easy, I've found myself welcoming the challenge and enjoying the hard work and long hours of teaching, planning and grading. A momentus amount of time goes into just keeping track of everything and making sure I'm teaching my 6 lecture classes the right thing on the right day. While this increase in my workload may seem a bit daunting at the moment, it's bound to pay off in positive ways.

The best part about my new job so far, has been, frankly speaking, not having to deal with the Korean administration. That in it of itself, has left me much less stressed with all of the insurmountably odd and irrational burocratic issues which come up when working as a foreigner in Korea. Thankfully the result of this much reduced stress level has been the slow but progressive return of my creative energy. You know how they say: the more you do the more energy and ideas you have? Well, I think it's true. My job has been a lot more energizing and stimulating for me and I think that that has enabled me to produce more creative energy.

This being the case, I've been trying to create opportunities for myself to get back into a more regular art practice. I used to love to draw. In fact, I spent a lot of time in school drawing rather than doing my other homework. so while my mother thought that I was being such a good student up in my room, I was actually beeing an artistically inclined, socially akward nerd. and I say, it's time to revive my inner nerd and do more of this thing they call "making art".


About 3 weeks ago, I got an invitation from my friend Deyne to come and join her one Wednesday night at a small cafe in Incheon "Beyond Cafe" http://incheonfhole.tumblr.com/ for what she and her group of friends called "Expression night". At these gatherings, artistically or musically inclined folk would read poems, sing songs, perform monologues from plays or just generally sit, watch and support those brave enough to get up and perform.

I decided that it might be a good opportunity for me to get out and sketch in a real life environment that wouldn't be as akward as sketching in most public places in Korea. (It is very very rare here for artists to work outside of a strict academic framework or atelier environment.) And so, after work on the past 2 wednesdays, I have gathered my sketch book and drawing materials and headed to Bupyeong Stn. with the intention of making art and trying to make some new or better friends in the process.

In another aim to get myself working, I've begun a rather silly yet effective drawing challenge. 30 themes in 30 days. I've forgone the 30 day part, but my aim is still to try and do at least 1 drawing and some sketches every week. More would be nice, but not entirely necessary. Little by little. Ease back into it until it becomes habit and then crank up the volume. For example, the picture above is Day 6: My favorite book character ~Elizabeth Bennett.

Although I admit it feels good to be working again, I feel rotten about the fact that I've let myself fall so far out of practice in the first place. Not just with my art, but creatively in general. I've also let most of my professional artistic ambitions slip to the side or possibly right off the edge of the table. With that in mind, I've been applying to anumber of local group art exhibitions occuring in Seoul over the next couple of months. My hopes are to get myself back into my practice and also back into the scene. I doubt whether that will be possible if I can't produce better works that this my Day 3 sketch: My favorite food~Bread and cheese.

Day 2: My favorite animal~the cat. This is the fist animal drawing I've attempted to do in a really long time and it was actually really fun; I might try to get involved with this multi-disciplinary art project in HBC this winter as a set painter. If that happens, then I'll be drawing and painting a LOT of animals! LOL!

Finally, Day 1: Yourself~ less obvious since I'm not wearing my glasses and the perspective from which it was taken. But there you go. A newly renewed sense of purpose with my job and in my art. With my job, I'm just concerned with staying on top of things and continuing to enjoy the experience. As for my art, I would like to concern myself less with what others think I should be drawing and more with what I actually feel like doing. I'm pretty sick and tired of people saying their has to be meaning in art work. While that may be true for most established forms of academic art, I don't think there's anything wrong with drawing a picture of a cat if that is what you are inclined to do. And if you enjoy doing it, then so much the better. For now, all I care about is the fact that I'm drawing again. Period.

Wishing there were such a thing as a 'Motivation Pill'

A strange thing happens when suddenly, after working for so long and so hard towards a specific objective, you finally acheive that objective, leaving the hithertoo drive and purpose of your vision empty and sputtering for a new goal and direction. I spent so much time, effort and energy focusing on finding a new job and then making sure that everything was completed and ready to begin this new job that now that the worry stress and craziness of moving and beginning a new job are over, I'm left feeling limp and deflated.

This is not a completely new experience for me. It happened when I finished my undergrad and again when I finished my MA and made my way to Seoul. However, I wasn't expecting this feeling of deflated energy and drive to hit me quite so hard once I had finally acheived most of the big goals that I had set for myself in the past years. Why on earth should I be feeling down when I have done what I set out to do? It is that question which I've been trying to come to grips with in the past weeks.




With the flavor of summer still very much in the air in Seoul, the new campus has been full of sunshine, the excitement and laughter of new students and the quiet confidence and order that all established institutions give off. I have felt safe and stable in my new environment. In many ways, returning to an academic environment is what I have known for most of my adult life and there's no real doubt as to why I feel so comfortable here. And yet, there is a nagging feeling that has been eating away at me for the past couple of weeks that I'm somehow missing something vital. That something that I can't quite figure is still somehow vitally missing from my life and my work environment here in Korea.

When I walk through the campus, I do feel a sense of pride that I have worked hard to get to where I am today, but also at a certain sacrifice to my own wellbeing in some ways. I've spent most of my 20s driving towards this goal, and yet, I can't seem to find a real sense of sattisfaction in what I have acheived or where I am in my life today. Not only is it supreamly annoying, it's also slightly worrying to me.

A couple words come to me when I think of why that could possibly be:

-Overwhelmed

-Insecure

-Lonely

-Drained

Which lead me to reason that that is why I probably feel so deflated and unmotivated these days. Perhaps I just put too much energy into the getting here part that now that I am here I have nothing left to put towards enjoying the rewards? I guess time will tell. I remember how every semester when I would go home after finals I would suddenly get sick, listless and really down.
Perhaps it was the safety of being home in an environment that I trusted that allowed me to let down my guard and let all the stress that I'd been bottling up pour out of me? All that I can hope is that in time, my motivation, energy and enthusiasm return to me so that I am better able to be the person, the teacher and the artist that I would like to be.

I would also like to be a better, more energetic, enthusiastic and happy friend and maybe someday girlfriend. Friends and intimates are hard to come by in Seoul, and as it goes, I recently lost several good friends to the the transience that comes along with living this lifestyle. It's up to me therefore, to get out, make new friends and do as much as I possibly can to create my own happiness by putting myself into positive environments where I'll have the possibility to do things and meet people that I like.

Sounds pretty straight forward right?...... It's just that question of motivation. And so, I state again how much I wish there were such a thing as a Motivation Pill.....

Yet till there is I will have to find a way to push through and find new goals to motivate me.