Sunday, April 21, 2013

'Permission to Play', a solo painting exhibition by Alexandra Beneteau, March 20~April 1, 2013


It's now been a couple of weeks since I took down my exhibition from Gallery-i in the Insa-dong area of Seoul.  After all that effort and work, the duration of the show seemed to fly by and since then, I have been too occupied with school to really take stock of everything that happened. 


While I am very happy to have had the opportunity to exhibit my work in a gallery space in Seoul, the experience has given me a real hard confronting look at the stark realities of being a professional artist, and while I loved having the time to work and the resulting consequence of having a new body of work to draw from, I can't help but feel that the entire shabang is a whole lot of effort for a dang little amount of direct pay off.


With no works sold, it is certainly a good thing that I have a good job and can spend this money freely without consequence of going into debt. however, making art is an expensive pass-time and the realities of the costs (not to mention the ammount of time, energy and drive that goes into pulling off a solo show) I don't know if I will be having another one in the near future.  When it comes down to it, I think that most people have this very mysterious notion of making art, like somehow the artist just waves a magic wand and a tableau is produced...  the reality however, is serious long hours of hard work and a whole lot of time, planing and focus.  There is no magic, just hard work.


In retrospect, I think one of the hardest parts of being an artist and doing something like a solo-show is knowing how much YOU have put into it and then automatically feeling the need to have that time and energy justified by how others respond to your work.  It's nice to hear that people enjoy it, but far more frustrating is when people simply don't show up to give you their opinions at all!!  I strangely enough really sympathized with my mom on this one:  you put in all this work as a mom that people just take for granted (it's what moms do right?!)  In the end, you just have to think, I've done it, I enjoyed the process of developing my skills as an artist.  I put myself out there and my work out to the public.  The responses I did get were mostly all very positive and encouraging.  Most of all, the majority of those that didn't come didn't come not because they had anything against you and your work, but rather because well... people are just really involved in their own lives.


If I think about it, I have RSVP'd to sooooooooooo many events that I didn't end up going to, either because I just didn;t feel like going out, or other events came up.  People are selfish (including myself) with their free time and I can understand that, it's just one of those that feels a whole lot different on the other side of the equation!  For future reference, I will never ever ever rsvp that I am attending a show or exhibition again unless I know for 100% certainty that I will be going.  On the upside, I got to see for myself who my biggest fans and supporters are and to those individuals I have to say a HUGEEEE THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!! 


To EVERYONE who made it out to the event, thank you so so so so so so much for your support!!!!  I really really appreciated it and I was very happy to share my experience with you!  For those who meant to come and just didn't find the time, thanks for the well wishes and positive thoughts and comments that you have paid me since. 


As an artist, you always want people to respond to your work in a positive way and I have to be really happy, that my concepts really came accross strongly in the process of the show.  Most people who came while I was at the gallery were really positive about the works and had lots of nice things to say.  I was especially touched by a couple of individuals who had seen the even advertised online and who had come into town especially to see the show!!  That felt pretty freeking good!! 


It's clear to me, in retrospect, that while it may be difficult to get people out to see the work, it's still worth all the time, energy and effort that goes into the organization, the construction and the production of the show, because in reality, we make art ultimately for ourselves, for our own developemtn and for the pure joy that comes with making art.  If others respond positively TO your work and take the time out of their busy lives to come and see it, then you should be overjoyed and grateful... and if they don't try not to take it personally.  THAT is in fact the greatest struggle for most artists.  Everyone wants to be celebrated and have their efforts rewarded.  I think that's just basic human nature.  If you can get past that and just take the whole thing as a dang good learning experience, then you're certainly on the right track.

I think the point was just TO DO IT!!!  This whole experience came at a time in my life where I needed a positive focus and an experience to remind me of what really drives me and pushes me forward as an individual.  Done and done!  Now onto the next one!

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