Alex 's Adventures in Seoul Land

Winter times with friends

2012-02-07T00:56:00.000-08:00

Coming back from Bali. Indonesia at the end of January was welcome in some ways; in that it gave me access to hot showers and clean drinking water, but oh it also came at the expense of being generally warm and toasty without having to wear 6 layers of clothing.

When I first moved to Korea I knew that it would have 4 seasons, but I never for the life of me expected them to be so COLD! Now, I come from Northern Ontario and we are used to hard, cold Winters, but I thought that I was escaping the cold rather than moving from one cold place to another! I guess I should have done better research. However, despite the cold and the snow it has been a great winter vacation so far and February is shaping up to be a rather awesome month for two particular reasons.

First of all, I still have nearly 3 full weeks of paid vacation left before the next semester begins. When I came back at the end of January, I still had over a full month of vacation days before I needed to be back on campus. This is one of the main reasons that I love my job so very much. Although I will need to be spending some of those weeks preparing my course, at least I can do it at my leasure.

Secondly, this time off has given me the oportunity to get out and be increadibly socially active without having to worry about being tired by work or having any time restrictions for meeting people at their convenience. I have really appreciated the freedom of being able to go and meet anyone at any time of day both near and far from my apartment. The development of some friendships in particular have been really important to me recently.

Winter in Korea is still full of activities in which to participate including the famous ice rink at City Hall. It may in fact be easier for complete beginners however, because the skates are rediculously dull and most people have no idea how to skate at all. It was like trying to cut a loaf of heavy French bread with a dull butter knife; possibly frustrating. I was constantly amazed how no one was actually runing into each other and knocking each other over (there were people ALLLLLLLLLL over the place doing random things). But I am generally amazed that traffic is able to move at all and more people aren't trampled to death on a daily basis in this city, so i guess I shouldn't be surprised that ice skating is no different. Hahaha! In the end however, it brought a smile to my face reminding me of all the times I used to skate with my family when I was young and how much a part of my Canadian identity it actually is.

Another reason this holiday has been so enjoyable is probably largely to do with all of the time I have spent with Ryno becoming best friends and just enjoying life. Ryno is a Public middle school teacher in Incheon originally from Durben, South Africa. We first met at the Halloween ugly sweater party back at the end of October. This inevitably led to being friends on facebook and chatting casually throughout November online. We went out a couple of times in December and stayed in touch throughout my trip to Bali. Although things began relatively slowly, they have picked up steam since my return from vacation and are now chugging along at a nice pace, full steam ahead!

I feel really happy to have made friends like Lindsay here in Korea. We are both from Northern Ontario and get along really well. It can be hard to make good friends in Korea with people always coming and going, but I feel like when you DO connect with someone, it can lead to lasting and meaningful friendships based on mutual compatibility and interests. She is an amazing girl and I really love hanging out with her because of all the crazy adventures we have!

Dating in many ways is like becoming best friends with someone you also find really attractive not just for their personality but also for their looks. It's that step beyond friendship that we don't often take because it also poses the risk of destroying the friendship if the relationship doesn't work out. It's a scary thing in many ways to expose yourself to someone else, but the benefit comes in being trusted with their experiences and stories in return. I think I would say that the risk is worth the payoff in general though, because it's been so much fun to get to know someone as sweet and caring as my man.

A friend I will be sorry to see go is my friend Lauren. She has been accepted into a Masters program in England next Fall term and will be going home shortly back to Seatle to prepare for her big move. It's sad to have friends leave, but just part of the natural order of things when you are all foreigners working and living on work Visas in a country that is not your own. I think that working and living in Seoul has been an increadibly enriching experience in so far even as it has given me the possibility to make friends and aquaintances with people from all sorts of countries and cultural backgrounds that I never would have otherwise. Despite the hardships of living so far away from home in a culture that is so unlike your own at least we know that we have our friends to help us work through our trials and to suport us when things get tough. For that I am increadibly thankful and I hope that I will be able to continue building these great friendships for the foreseable future. It wil make life a brighter and better, and that's a good thing!

Bali Adventure 2012! December 28, 2011- January 22, 2012

2012-01-29T22:25:00.000-08:00

One of Balis' famous sunsets from my balcony in Ubud

Monkey Forest in ubud was one of the most lovely and surprising experiences of my trip
Monkey really are curious creatures and so interesting to observe.

The pool at the Ibunda Inn, where I stayed in Ubud; a reason to spend mornings at the hotel

The dancers and orchestra of the traditional 'Legong' dance theatre

The dancers were so skilled and coordinated in their movements and facial expressions!

The country side of Bali is full of rice paddies and beautiful sites! This field was just outside of the Agung Rai Museum of Art in ubud.

In addition to rice paddies, there were many smaller Inns on the country roads and always a gaggle of geese squawking about.

The grounds at the museums were tended to and designed in a way that made them as, if not more enjoyable and beautiful than the art itself!

A traditional Balinese wood carving, so amazingly detailed and gorgeous!!

No visit to Bali would be complete without seeing the magnificent clif top temple of Pura Ulu Watu on the Southern tip of the Bali peninsula.

The sunset at Ulu Watu is known to be one of the best views in Bali, I agree!!!

The beach in Kuta. Surfing here is not so much a sport but a real lifestyle.

Hanging loose with the wonderful Lanna Olsen, a beautiful Sweedish women I met in Kuta.

Fredrick and Poppe were Lannas' travel companions and friends. The four of us became quite good friends in the week that we traveled and hung out together. I'm so lucky and happy to have met them!!! They made my vacation so much more meaningful!

Lanna and I at dinner in Kuta. I guess I'll have to figure out how to get to Stockholm :P

The four of us went to the Gili Islands in Lonbok for a couple of days. There are no cars on the islands and the local lifestyle is still very old fashioned and poor.

Poppe, Lanna and Fredrick doing what they do best; being hilarious and having fun!

I ended up staying in Kuta for much longer than I expected, largely due to having met the Sweeds but also because I had such a wonderful home base at Hotel Bene Yasa

The most wonderful thing about Bali was that there was real beauty truely everywhere you seemed to look. It was a real challenge to go anywhere and NOT take pictures!!

Sanur was my first stop in Bali. This low key town boasted not only beautiful white sand beaches but also very friendly locals and a quiet, peaceful environment.

I think this picture perfectly sums up what it means to be on vacation in Indonesia. Sit back, relax, and take in the view, the sun and the salty ocean breeze.

New years eve on the beach in Sanur will go down as the loudest, most out of control and hilarious fireworks display I have ever witnessed in my entire life!

Rockets and Scotch; that's all you need to know.

A real impetus for this trip was the potential of seeing my friend Manuelle. We studied our Masters together at Concordia. The potential to reconnect with old friends is something that should always be taken because it can lead to wonderful adventures and experiences.

I wasn't sure what to expect from my trip to Bali, but what I came away with was a number of memories and experiences that I will carry with my for the rest of my life. I also came away with new friends that I will hopefully stay in touch with and see again before too long.

The two years I have spent living in Korea prepared me really well for the difficulties of living in an Asian country, where things are certainly not like back home. There were so many new and interesting things to see and to learn and the local (being dependent on you as a customer) were increadibly friendly and helpful.

One of the strangest things that I took away from this trip was the rememberance of what it means to live in a multicultural society and how important that is to me and my values as a person. Living in the hemogeny of Korea culture can sometimes make you forget that the world is a VERY BIG place full of all kinds of different people, languages, cultures and faiths. This is something that I already knew, but had forgotten and am so happy to have been reminded of, for it brings me a greater sense of happiness knowing that my differences are not necessarily faults but the special things that mark me as a Canadian living abroad.

A Korean Christmas; Take 3

2011-12-26T18:22:00.000-08:00

What is Christmas? It is tenderness for the past, courage for the present, hope for the future. It is a fervent wish that every cup may overflow with blessings rich and eternal, and that every path may lead to peace.
- Agnes M. Pharo

Christmas - that magic blanket that wraps itself about us, that something so intangible that it is like a fragrance. It may weave a spell of nostalgia. Christmas may be a day of feasting, or of prayer, but always it will be a day of remembrance - a day in which we think of everything we have ever loved.
- Augusta E. Rundel

Christmas! The very word brings joy to our hearts. No matter how we may dread the rush, the long Christmas lists for gifts and cards to be bought and given--when Christmas Day comes there is still the same warm feeling we had as children, the same warmth that enfolds our hearts and our homes.

-Joan Winmill Brown

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.

- Kin Hubbard

Our hearts grow tender with childhood memories and love of kindred, and we are better throughout the year for having, in spirit, become a child again at Christmas-time.

- Laura Ingalls Wilder

I love the Christmas-tide,

and yet, I notice this, each year I live;

I always like the gifts I get,

But how I love the gifts I give!

- Carolyn Wells

May the Holiday Season bring only happiness and joy to you and your loved ones.

From Home to home, and heart to heart, from one place to another. The warmth and joy of Christmas, brings us closer to each other.

- Emily Matthews

I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round, as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable time; the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys.

- Charles Dickens

Musical Madness and Markets; Finding the Christmas spirit

2011-12-10T19:44:00.001-08:00

December has finally arrived in Seoul and with it has come colder weather. It's to be expected, naturally. But more unexpected in Korea, a largely Christian country, is that the spirit of Christmas is -strangely enough- often hard to find. This will be my 3rd Christmas away from home and although i have now found a way to cope with a lack of family near by, it still feels like the hardest time of year to be away from the rituals and traditions of Western culture and family get togethers.

Fortunately, in Seoul, where the greater number of foreigners makes us a visible minority, people have taken pains to bring those smalls joys like good home cooking and small get togethers more available. These can be found in the form of traditional christmas markets held predominantly by the European communities of Seoul. With my friend Lindsay at my side, we have now ventured to explore, feast, and spend far too much money at both the "European Christmas Market" and the 'French Christmas Market' on the first and second weekends of December.
http://www.korea4expats.com/events-in-korea-European-Christmas-Market-2-4-Dec-2011-Seongbuk-gu-Seoul-5578.html

http://www.korea4expats.com/events-in-korea-French-Xmas-Market-Sat-10-Dec-2011-Seocho-gu-Seoul-5621.html

On the first weekend of December, Lindsay and I were able to feast on French sausages, eat Dutch pea soup and ginger bread, and scarf down Belgian waffles and German mulled wine! Excellent! It was also nice to hear everyone around us speaking a cacophony of languages around us. It was like being back home at the Saturday morning famers market only slightly more expensive ....and asian. We even got the chance to have our picture taken with a Finish Santa Clause!

On the second weekend of december, we ventured out to Seocho-gu and the French district to share in the delicacies once more. Chocolatines, pains aux raisains, pain de campaigne, wine, Dijon mustard, and several other yummy nibblets were purchased with glee. We also spent probably way too much money on some art prints cut from vintage French journals and magazines. But there's something about the frenzy or a market environment which makes you want to crack out your wallet and buy everything in sight! *sigh...

I feel it in my fingers,

I feel it in my toes,
Christmas is all around us,

and so the feeling grows.

Wagwak in action at the Freebird

Early December has also provided some great music listening opportunities. The annual 'Rubber Seoul' fundraiser for AIDS awareness and research was held on the first weekend of the month in Hongdae. Over six venues, some of the mentionables were bands like Wagwak (pictured above), The Rock Tigers and my faves, Apollo 18! It was a great night of gin drinking and head banging! My neck was sore for 3 days afterwards, which to me is proof enough that it was a rocking good time!!

Apollo 18: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tsrwLKRg_Y

The Rock Tigers: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_aKnwNkg_w8

Wagwak: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gV8DIxZb0L4&feature=related

December also ushered in the famous Scottish band "Mogwai" for their first official visit to Korea at AX Hall in Seoul on November 30, 2011. The audience comprised largely of foreigners and extremely young Korean posers who probably only became aware of the existance of this band when tickets went on sale in September.

I couldn't help thinking while they were playing that the difference between a PROFESSIONAL rock band and an amateur band is ABSOLUTELY ASTOUNDING!!!! They were soooooooo freaking tight and on the ball!! Their sound was increadible and their unity and communication on stage were perfectly synchronized! It's amazing what practice will do! LOL! I listened and was struck not only by the amplitude of their sound but also the influence of their sound on other bands like 'Muse' and a lot of the Korean bands I like, like 'Apollo 18'. The tickets were pricy (the advanced tickets I bought were 66,000 Won), but the venue was great, the set was long, and the music was impactful! You have to pay for good music here, but in the end, it's totally worth it.

Lastly, which perhaps I should have mentioned first, my artwork -the painting 'Full Moon' has been on display in the most recent I.A.C. group exhibition 'Erotic Fantasies' at 'Cafe Blind Spot' in Hondae near Sangsu Stn. !!!! Along with 8 other international artists, we explored the theme of erotic and exotic in our new works and had a very successful opening show. The exhibition runs until December 17th and I would encourage anyone who hasn't gone to go and check it out!! http://koreaiac.com/upcoming.htm

http://www.korea4expats.com/events-in-korea-IAC-Group-Exhibition---Erotic-Fantasies-to-17-Dec-2011-Hongdae-Seoul-5558.html

Perhaps, most excitingly was that my work was featured in the Korean Herald's review of the show!! This is super exciting and I think I need to jump forward from this and continue to work on my portraiture and building up a body of work in order to maybe hold a solo show here in the near future.

http://www.koreaherald.com/lifestyle/Detail.jsp?newsMLId=20111122000544

Anything is possible and hard work can produce miraculous results.

Getting down to business

2011-11-25T23:10:00.000-08:00

"Full Moon", Acrylic on Canvas, 60 X 90cm, 2011.

Painted for the International Artist Communities group exhibition "Erotic Fantasies" at Cafe Blind Spot in Hongdae. November 26 ~ December 17, 2011.

As my first semester as a full time Professor begins to decend into a frenzy of panic and marking, I have to say that I've never felt quite so happy and content with myself and my life since coming to Korea. I am actually happy here!? How did this happen? How is it even possible that I could come to a place of acceptance and contentment when for so long I was miserable, homesick and literally sick from culture shock and a lack of regional anti-bodies?

I suspect a lot of it comes from the previous mentioned job sattisfaction and actually feeling like I'm doing a worthwhile job on some level. I also feel as though I am being challeneged in new ways and that push is so refreshing after floating in a sea of pure bordome for so long. But it's more than that. I feel at home in my little appartment. It's so quiet and cozy. I enjoy my co-workers not only for their talents and genuine friendliness, but also because for the first time since grad school I feel like I have peers. They can teach me new things and help me become a better teacher and worker. I hope to continue learning and developing professional relationships and friendships with a bunch of them.

Maybe the words I'm looking for are positive outlook and posibly also brighter disposition and sense of meaningful purpose? In any case, it has led to a bit of a transformation for me in the last months. A renewal of energy and determination to continue doing things that I enjoy and becoming involved in activities. I have begun painting again and drawing more and it feels good. I really want to keep working towards having enough paintings to put on a solo show before the end of the school year. Who knows? Anything is possible right?

With the New Year on the horizon, I've been recently thinking of things that I should add to my list of goals and while some goals have been achieved since last year and some others have still not changed and or been acheived, I'm happy to find that I do have new goals to put down on that list that I think will bring new meaning to my life in Korea.

And while it could be the left over turkey sandwhiches (from the staff American Thanks Giving we had yesterday) or the residual paint fumes from painting in my very tiny appartment, I think that the feeling of contentment that I have comes from a deeper degree of having made a good stable situation for myself here. I can all of the sudden start to see my future here as something not to dread but rather, as something to look forward to. And that, well that is something to be both thanksful and excited about.

Here are some links to the exhibition and some reviews of the show.

http://www.koreaherald.com/lifestyle/Detail.jsp?newsMLId=20111122000544

https://www.facebook.com/#!/events/225333014201175/

Feeling the pieces of the puzzle falling into place.

2011-11-12T23:23:00.001-08:00

October has slowly been bleeding into November in a sea of brightly colored leaves, outrageous Halloween events and concerts. November has also marked the sh*t hitting the fan part of the college semester, where everything seems to be racing forward towards finals at a dizzying pace. Korea, unlike Northern Ontario seems to think that Fall should last from September allllll the way till December, and for that I am eternally gratefull. The weather has been absolutely fantastic this Fall and has kept the party going for all who can keep up with it to enjoy.

I've found that as I become more used to my job and my routine, time has been slipping by more quickly than ever, but that in this time, I seem to be able to do more and have more fun doing it that I ever have since coming to Korea 2 years ago. Perhaps this means that I have truely reached the acceptance phase of culture shock and that I am more or less ready and able to deal with all that is thown at me in the context of living and surviving in this country. It may also be that the amount of time that I spent stressing out and being angry and poorly rested at my last job has been and continues to be slowly replaced by more energy, more creativity and many more hours of unbroken and restful sleep in my new living and working environment. Don't get me wrong, my new job is a LOT of hard work and is challenging me in ways that I've never been challenged in a work environment, but rather than get me down, this seems to be motivating me and helping me find new interests in working towards goals in education, teaching and art.

A new degree of empowerment and interest in life and the things around me has come over me recently and for that I am very thankful. I was begining to worry that there was something wrong with me, that I would forever be reduced to a lazy unmotivated lump of angst. I'm happy to say that a lot of the bitterness and angst and frustration that seemed to cling to my life in Korea is slowly evaporating and leaving in it's place a freshly renewed interst in learning and improving my abilities and talents.

Chris and I enjoying the set at Boys Noize

Definitely one of the best concerts I've ever been to in Korea, despite the fact that all they were serving was extremely overprices Jagermiester.

My Japanese Victorian inspired Gothic Lolita look

Me and the lead singer of the 'Rock Tigers' ~Velvet Gina, on Halloween http://www.reverbnation.com/therocktigers

For example, I have always liked to sew and to design costumes based on a lot of research, and yet this is something that I have rarely done in the past several years and never done in Korea. So I took it upon myself this Halloween to be something that would require me to make a costume and have fun researching and making it in the process. I decided to be a goth. I think there's always been a small part of me that wanted to be goth. Yet I didn't want to be an angsty goth, I wanted to be something Asian and something Victorian. I found out soon enough about the Lolita Goth movement in Japan and other countries around the world which takes Victorian Goth and makes it cute with Asian female sensibilities. For me, living curently in Korea, this seemed to be the perfect fit. Sothing dark and costumy without being too dark or concerned with death. I like gothic, but no so much the macabre. http://www.japaneselifestyle.com.au/fashion/gothic_lolita.html

So out of this, was born my Gothic Lolita costume, which was worn to great effect and got many positive reviews. I was even told by more that one person that I should take up this look more regularily as it suited me very well. LOL! I went to see Boys Noize, a German Electronic DJ, with my friend Chris in costume and had a great time. It was made even better by being in costume and I can't wait to try my hand at more embellishments in the future. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boys_Noize

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VwzRLgJorYQ

Last weekend, I took a second trip with I.F.X. to Seoraksan mountain. http://english.knps.or.kr/Knp/Seoraksan/Intro/Introduction.aspx?MenuNum=1&Submenu=Npp

It was a lot of fun, but the best part of the trip was not necessarily the hiking (not really a big fan) but the hot springs that we went to on the Sunday before heading back to Seoul! I think I've been in Korea long enough to have been a lot of places and done a lot of things. It comes back to me once in a while, such as with the hot springs, that there are a lot of things that I love about this country but don't so often enough because they feel like they're a novelty rather than something that can be integrated into my life on a more regulara basis.

So in looking forward towards the next months of my time in Korea, I want to make a concerted effort to keep this renewal of enthusiastic and creative energy going in as many ways as possible. I am working on painting for an upcoming exhibition with the I.A.C. and intend to make my art a stronger focus in my life. I recently attended an EFL Conference sponsered by Cambridge University Press at Sookmyung Womens University and was reminded not only that I really do LIKE academics but that I really SHOULD be studying more about my field and how to become a better EFL instructor. http://koreabridge.net/event/seoul-cambridge-day-xi-2011-sookmyung-university-november-2011 Books to read, courses to take, materials to improve and art to see and read about. All this will help me find ways to make my life and work more meaningful and interesting while I continue to explore and live through the adventures of being and Expat in South Korea.

October, not ready to say goodbey to summer!

2011-10-21T02:49:00.000-07:00

One of the best things about living in Seoul is the fact that Spring comes so early and Summer stays so late. I took some time last week to get outside and enjoy some of the tourist attractions with my lovely new French aquaintance Ginie Chaseigne. We trolled Insa-dong for some good deals and to soak up some late afternoon sun.

HBC is possible the most unpretensious foreigner friendly area of Seoul. My friend Dara plays regualr gigs at several bars in the area and I often go to watch him and hang out with him and his girlfriend (also my friend) Jesse. Here we are at Bar Carmen having a great ol'time.

Finding reliable friends in Seoul is often difficult, but I've been lucky enough to find some very great ones. I've know Jesse and Dara for almost a year now, and I hope to continue being friends with them for a long time to come.

October also brings with it a host of musical events. Most notable amongst them would be the Global Gathering DJ festival. This year it was held on October 8th at Hanganjin Park in near Worl Cup Stadium in the North West of the city. As far as DJ festivals go, it was increadibly odddddddd since all of the biggest DJs seemed to perform before 6pm???????!!!!!!!! I was increadiblt pissed off when I got to the festival at 8pm to find that the large acts had mostly finished!

The festival was then moved into several small tents and continued long into the night. It was a shame, but c'est la vie. To be honest, for the cost of the ticket I was very underwhelmed and for me, this really sealed the last nail in the coffin for my willingness to participate in any future Korean music festivals.

The silver lining of the night was that i was there with a fun group of people who always seem to be able to make the best out of any situation. It's also possible that they were all just terribly drunk. Who can argue with someone who is three sheets to the wind about the prudence of stage arrangements and artist lineups? Love you guys!

In the end though, it's all experience under the ol' belt and when it comes down to it, going to shitty concerts is still preferable to staying in and doing nothing. i just wish it didn't come with such a large price tag!

Finding a new stride and getting back to business.

2011-10-18T06:29:00.000-07:00

I wont deny that the past couple of months have been hugely monumental for me in my personal life in Korea and my professional chareer as a teacher. While beginning a new job is never easy, I've found myself welcoming the challenge and enjoying the hard work and long hours of teaching, planning and grading. A momentus amount of time goes into just keeping track of everything and making sure I'm teaching my 6 lecture classes the right thing on the right day. While this increase in my workload may seem a bit daunting at the moment, it's bound to pay off in positive ways.

The best part about my new job so far, has been, frankly speaking, not having to deal with the Korean administration. That in it of itself, has left me much less stressed with all of the insurmountably odd and irrational burocratic issues which come up when working as a foreigner in Korea. Thankfully the result of this much reduced stress level has been the slow but progressive return of my creative energy. You know how they say: the more you do the more energy and ideas you have? Well, I think it's true. My job has been a lot more energizing and stimulating for me and I think that that has enabled me to produce more creative energy.

This being the case, I've been trying to create opportunities for myself to get back into a more regular art practice. I used to love to draw. In fact, I spent a lot of time in school drawing rather than doing my other homework. so while my mother thought that I was being such a good student up in my room, I was actually beeing an artistically inclined, socially akward nerd. and I say, it's time to revive my inner nerd and do more of this thing they call "making art".

About 3 weeks ago, I got an invitation from my friend Deyne to come and join her one Wednesday night at a small cafe in Incheon "Beyond Cafe" http://incheonfhole.tumblr.com/ for what she and her group of friends called "Expression night". At these gatherings, artistically or musically inclined folk would read poems, sing songs, perform monologues from plays or just generally sit, watch and support those brave enough to get up and perform.

I decided that it might be a good opportunity for me to get out and sketch in a real life environment that wouldn't be as akward as sketching in most public places in Korea. (It is very very rare here for artists to work outside of a strict academic framework or atelier environment.) And so, after work on the past 2 wednesdays, I have gathered my sketch book and drawing materials and headed to Bupyeong Stn. with the intention of making art and trying to make some new or better friends in the process.

In another aim to get myself working, I've begun a rather silly yet effective drawing challenge. 30 themes in 30 days. I've forgone the 30 day part, but my aim is still to try and do at least 1 drawing and some sketches every week. More would be nice, but not entirely necessary. Little by little. Ease back into it until it becomes habit and then crank up the volume. For example, the picture above is Day 6: My favorite book character ~Elizabeth Bennett.

Although I admit it feels good to be working again, I feel rotten about the fact that I've let myself fall so far out of practice in the first place. Not just with my art, but creatively in general. I've also let most of my professional artistic ambitions slip to the side or possibly right off the edge of the table. With that in mind, I've been applying to anumber of local group art exhibitions occuring in Seoul over the next couple of months. My hopes are to get myself back into my practice and also back into the scene. I doubt whether that will be possible if I can't produce better works that this my Day 3 sketch: My favorite food~Bread and cheese.

Day 2: My favorite animal~the cat. This is the fist animal drawing I've attempted to do in a really long time and it was actually really fun; I might try to get involved with this multi-disciplinary art project in HBC this winter as a set painter. If that happens, then I'll be drawing and painting a LOT of animals! LOL!

Finally, Day 1: Yourself~ less obvious since I'm not wearing my glasses and the perspective from which it was taken. But there you go. A newly renewed sense of purpose with my job and in my art. With my job, I'm just concerned with staying on top of things and continuing to enjoy the experience. As for my art, I would like to concern myself less with what others think I should be drawing and more with what I actually feel like doing. I'm pretty sick and tired of people saying their has to be meaning in art work. While that may be true for most established forms of academic art, I don't think there's anything wrong with drawing a picture of a cat if that is what you are inclined to do. And if you enjoy doing it, then so much the better. For now, all I care about is the fact that I'm drawing again. Period.

Wishing there were such a thing as a 'Motivation Pill'

2011-09-17T00:01:00.000-07:00

A strange thing happens when suddenly, after working for so long and so hard towards a specific objective, you finally acheive that objective, leaving the hithertoo drive and purpose of your vision empty and sputtering for a new goal and direction. I spent so much time, effort and energy focusing on finding a new job and then making sure that everything was completed and ready to begin this new job that now that the worry stress and craziness of moving and beginning a new job are over, I'm left feeling limp and deflated.

This is not a completely new experience for me. It happened when I finished my undergrad and again when I finished my MA and made my way to Seoul. However, I wasn't expecting this feeling of deflated energy and drive to hit me quite so hard once I had finally acheived most of the big goals that I had set for myself in the past years. Why on earth should I be feeling down when I have done what I set out to do? It is that question which I've been trying to come to grips with in the past weeks.

With the flavor of summer still very much in the air in Seoul, the new campus has been full of sunshine, the excitement and laughter of new students and the quiet confidence and order that all established institutions give off. I have felt safe and stable in my new environment. In many ways, returning to an academic environment is what I have known for most of my adult life and there's no real doubt as to why I feel so comfortable here. And yet, there is a nagging feeling that has been eating away at me for the past couple of weeks that I'm somehow missing something vital. That something that I can't quite figure is still somehow vitally missing from my life and my work environment here in Korea.

When I walk through the campus, I do feel a sense of pride that I have worked hard to get to where I am today, but also at a certain sacrifice to my own wellbeing in some ways. I've spent most of my 20s driving towards this goal, and yet, I can't seem to find a real sense of sattisfaction in what I have acheived or where I am in my life today. Not only is it supreamly annoying, it's also slightly worrying to me.

A couple words come to me when I think of why that could possibly be:

-Overwhelmed

-Insecure

-Lonely

-Drained

Which lead me to reason that that is why I probably feel so deflated and unmotivated these days. Perhaps I just put too much energy into the getting here part that now that I am here I have nothing left to put towards enjoying the rewards? I guess time will tell. I remember how every semester when I would go home after finals I would suddenly get sick, listless and really down.
Perhaps it was the safety of being home in an environment that I trusted that allowed me to let down my guard and let all the stress that I'd been bottling up pour out of me? All that I can hope is that in time, my motivation, energy and enthusiasm return to me so that I am better able to be the person, the teacher and the artist that I would like to be.

I would also like to be a better, more energetic, enthusiastic and happy friend and maybe someday girlfriend. Friends and intimates are hard to come by in Seoul, and as it goes, I recently lost several good friends to the the transience that comes along with living this lifestyle. It's up to me therefore, to get out, make new friends and do as much as I possibly can to create my own happiness by putting myself into positive environments where I'll have the possibility to do things and meet people that I like.

Sounds pretty straight forward right?...... It's just that question of motivation. And so, I state again how much I wish there were such a thing as a Motivation Pill.....

Yet till there is I will have to find a way to push through and find new goals to motivate me.

New Beginnings After Rough Endings

2011-08-28T06:31:00.000-07:00

The month of August 2011 will not go down in the story of my life as the best time I've ever had (or even a good time period). While ending a job and beginning a new one can be complicated and tough mentally, physically and emotionally, doing so in a foreign country is doubly so. Add to that having to complete a new and complicated VISA process and the horrors of packing up and moving to a new part of town and appartment and you can understand why the past 4 weeks do not top my list of best summers ever.

However, what's done is done. The job at Garak is over. The money has been wired into my acount and I have successfully moved out of my apartment in bangi-dong and into my new apartment at Soongsil University. Out with the old and in with the new. I've celebrated my new apartment by going to E-mart and purchasing new linens and dishes. I put up with sub par and ugly things for the last 2 years because I didn't want to invest in the old place more than I had to. I also didn't want to have to leave my new (better) items which I would replace the old crappy items with when I left.

My new place is at the very top of the campus (up a giant hill) on the 12th floor where the other faculty and PhD students are housed. It's not huge, but it's clean, quiet and has tons of storage space. It's also in a more centrally located part of town and I'm really looking forward to exploring the campus and a new part of Seoul. It feels like I'm starting over from scratch. Except, I get to come at it with all the experience and cultural knowledge that I've aquired over the last two years of working and living in Seoul. In this respect, I'm starting fresh, but with a huge advantage over new teachers to this country.

Here are some images of my new apartment. This week, I'll be doing an orientation and a staff meeting and formal luncheon. Classes begin on september 1st (this Thirsday) which is kind of nice, since I don't have classes on Thursdays, lol. I expect to begin teaching on Friday the 2nd and my job between now and then is to finish unpacking, make sure I have all my materials organized, get in some good hours of sleep and try to focus on leaving the past behind and concentrating on the present, which at this point looks much more optimistic than it has for quite some time.

NO MORE BEAR BED!!!!!!!!!!!!! I actually have an adult bed, which I have now furnished with stylish and non-tacky bed sheets and pillows. A total revelation.

This is actually fairly good as far as Korean bathrooms go. As you can see I actually have a shower door as opposed to just a shower head directly over my sink. Yup, brushing your teeth can be hazardous if you forget to change the shower head back to faucet.

Here is a view of my stylish mini kitchen. It's not that fantastic, but I don't think they expect people to actually shop and cook for themselves very much.

Here is my desk, wardrobe and vanity area. It's pretty squishy right now (especially with the ginormous TV attached to the desk (came with the apartment) but with a bit more organizing, it should all come together.

After living in a dungeon with no sunlight for the last year, the brighness is almost overwhelming! But I'm really excited to wake up, open the curtains and have the bringht sunlight greeting me every morning. I think my next project will be to try and grow some plants and herbs. YAY!

That's it for now. Now it's time for bed.

In transition

2011-08-15T00:27:00.000-07:00

With the end of summer in sight, I can't help but reflect on the similarities and the differences from last year. First of all, it unfortunately hasn't felt like much of a summer, nor a vacation, but there have still been some good times and good friends along the way. Now I know people say this all the time, but REALLY, this summer has litterally flown by!! It could be that it has been raining fairly non-stop since mid-June, and in that respect it hasn't felt much like summer weather other than the sweat drenching humidity. Or it could also be that the regular teaching term extended until July 18th!!!!!!!!!!!!! Or, it could be that I then immediately followed that teaching schedule by a further 3 weeks of summer camp, which brings us exactly to August 5th. Hmmmmmm, so yeah, not much of a summer. However, all was not lost and I found a way to get out there on the weekends and make use of my reduced work schedule by attending several festivals and getting out to celebrate music and frienships and afterall, the summer is not quite finished yet....

One of the biggest events of the summer in my books is the "Jisan Valley Rock Festival" during the first weekend of August. This year i had my resservations about buying the $200.00 ticket, not onluy because there weren't a ton of bands that I wanted to see, but also because the festival held so many memorries of the last time I was there with James.... yeah, revisiting past relationships is never nice and I wasn't sure if i wanted to put myself back into that situation willingly. However, at the last minute a friend of mine pulled out of the concert and sold me her ticket and after all, I'm not sorry that I went.

The line up, while not stellar, did boast some very good acts including: The Music, The Chemical Brothers, Arctic Monkeys (pictured above), Atari Teenage Riot, Appollo 18, CSS, Amadou & Mariam, Incubus and a number of Korean indie bands that did a respectable if not overwhelming job at entertaining us during the rainy, noisy, steaming hot weekend of madness that was Jisan.
Not having come with a particular group, I spent a good deal of the weekend doing my own thing. This was fueled by two things. First, that I wasn't really drinking (save for water and lots of powerade) and secondly, -bare with me here- I'm one of those odd people who actually goes to music festivals to you know, listen to music.... I know, right?

I stayed fairly far away from the main stages up the mountain in a giant tent city full of disgruntled festival goers. Disgruntled because the first night it poured and everyone got soaked!!! And the second night it didn't rain, but everyone, who had wisely rainproofes their tents found temselves sweating to death in plastiked tents!!!!!!!!!!!!! Who needs sleep though? sleep is for the weak! So is showering, eating properly and finding any respite from the heat or the elements...... frig! being homeless realllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyy sucks!!!!!!!!!!! Just in case you ever felt like getting down on anyone living outside, you should hear it from me, it sucks and is difficult and unpleasant to the extreme!

Mercifully, the homelessness was very temporary and it was also mirrored with the much more positive aspect of being surrounded by good friends and some great music. Who would have thought that I would find some great friends from my hometown of barrie Ontario to hang out with in South Korea??!! And so ends a second year at Jisan. This time I was not heat sick, did not spend a rediculous amount of extra money, and came out relatively unscathed. I might seem less adventurous and rather more self-restricting that most, but in the end, I made it home at a decent time Sunday night, had a good long shower and sleep and woke up fresh and ready for camp the next morning. I was not sick and exhausted for the next week, but rather felt justified in my decision to "take it easy".

Part of taking it easy, is spending more quality time with friends. Part of the probalem with that however, is that a good deal of my friends tend to flee this city at every possible opportunity, for the sandier and warmer climates of SE Asian beaches and resorts. Can you blame them? Naw not really. I wish I was more organized and had less to do this vacation so I could have joined them. MAYBE I'll get my vactioning act together by next winter vacation and spend it sleeping on a beach in Bali? That is the plan anyway. Ah things to look forward to.

As it is though, I've decided that I need to focus my time during August towards packing, studying, moving and getting ready for my new job as a Freshman English prof at Soongsil University in South East Seoul. My life right now is certainly one of transition. From public school teacher to University teacher. From very little effort and job responsibility to tons of effort and responsibility. There has also been the question of yet again packing up my life and moving to a new location. Packing in some ways is both centering and cathartic. It allows you to take stock of what you have, where you are in your life and what is important and meaningful enough for you to keep and what you are willing to let go of and get rid of. In a way it is a sort of cleansing a Spring cleaning without the scubbing being so literal. You get to take stock of where you are, what you have and HAVEN'T accomplished since you set yourself those goals during your last move and also lets you make the necessary changes you need to get your life back on track and into sharper focus. Moving also exposes your greatest weeknesses, and it's hard to ignore them when you have a year of undone paperwork staring you in the face. transition times are difficult, stressful and sometimes almost overwhelming. But they also offer the opportunity for improvement, development and growth both personally, professionally and financially. I look forward to seeing what the next month and months will bring to these areas of my life. For now.... it's time to keep packing.

This summer I decided to run a Harry Potter Summer camp as my last teaching act for my school. Predictably, the school fucked me over at every possible turn, but in the end, i did my best with the materials and help I was given and i had fun with the kids that came, did some great projects and got some really good creative results. In the end, it was a good note to leave on and for that, I'm glad i did all of the hard work to make it happen. It's the end of an era and the beginning of a transition into a new phase of my life. Hurrah! Three cheers for surviving!!!

Kitchen Experiments Early Summer Days

2011-06-28T05:37:00.000-07:00

For my 27th birday, I tried to do something rather grown up. I invited several friends out for a wonderful dinner to a Brazillian style steak house called Mercados, near Agpujeong Stn. in Seoul. While the meal was brilliant, I was slightly more that disappointed by the number of people who caanceled at the last minute leaving our party much smaller than I had anticipated. It's hard not to take these things personally, but in retrospect, it was a Friday night and many people lived over an hour away from the restaurant. However, I was really happy to celebrate and eat some amazingly delicious steak with my two lovely co-teachers He Ji & Hey Jin, and my great friends, Dara, Silvia and Lindsay.

Throwing up the double peace signs to show our pleasure with the very good steak and sangria, Dara, Hey Jin and I are very sattisfied customers. As a self proclaimed foodie, I find it hard to find good steak in this country that does not have to be prepared by myself while sitting uncomfortable on the floor and using scisors as my primary utensil. Mercados required non of the work and rather invited us to put all of out effort into eating well. The servers walked around with giant scewers of differently prepared steak and would cut and serve you as much as you wanted!!!! AMAZING!

By the end of our second pitcher of sangria and an uncountable number of meat serving, we fairly had to roll our way out of the restaurant. We then went and established ourselves at a little Japanese style bistro which had an outdoor terrace. It was quite lovely and warm still and we stayed there for quite a while before attempting to go out dancing. Unfortunately the bar I chose was really aweful! I guess you can't win 'em all! It was still a good way to celebrate my b-day.

In the past little while I've been inspired to be a bit more adventurous in my tiny kitchen. I have become quite accomplished at cooking with a little electric stove top, no oven and a mini fridge. I guess you could call it college style gourmande living. I was in E-Mart last week and I bought myself some ground pork with the intention of trying my hand at homemade hamburgers. Unfortunately, when it came own to cooking them, I was unable to find any buns worth eating... What I did find was a whole wheat, raising, sunflower sead, baguette at Paris Baguette ( I was rather shocked as they generally have shit bread).

I thought to myself, 'What could I do to compliment this bread? I know! I'll make a meatball sub!!' I'll be brief and say that is exactly what I did. I first glazed and sauted some onions and mushrooms. Then I made the meatballs with the ground pork, chopped onion, 1 piece of finely chopped toast for breadcrumbs, 1 egg, 1 spoon of spicy mustard, salt, pepper, mixed herbs, and a dash of clove and nutmeg. Then I mixed it all up, rolled them into balls and cooked them in a bit of olive oil in a frying pan. Then I cut my bread lengthwise, loaded it up with ketchup, mayo, mustard, halved cherry tomatos, lettuce, orange chedar (unfortunately processed), then topped the cheese with the halved meat balls and the sauted veggies. Smush it alllll together, cut in half and serve hot! VOILA!!! I will call it the mid-week-meatball-madness-extravagaza-dinner-sandwich! Did I mention it was FABULOUS!

Summer days have returned to Seoul and although they bring extreme heat and alternately downpouring monsoon rains, there are still plenty of good times to be had in between. After a long time away from that general area, I went back for a visit to Insa-dong recently with my friend Lindsay (who is unfortunately going back to Canada; another victim of a dreadful Hagwon!!) It was strange, but I liked it even more after having been here for the past 2 years, because all of the gifts and knick knacks for sale seemed so much more culturally relevant and I understood their significance and relative importance to Korean culture. In fact, after I have moved into my new appartment, I want to go back and buy new dishes and decorations there.

The Korean aesthetic is very interesting, almost eclectic, but very beautiful at the same time.

It's hard to grasp. For all that this city is so crazy and concrete, they seem to favor white, bright, natural woods and fibres and green in their interiors. I guess it's an attempt to find a respite from the ungly, chaotic, grey exteriors of most of the building here. I think the interiors present a much clearer sense of the history and the aesthetic of the culture that the exteriors of the buildings or the (aparent lack of any individualism or personality in the architectural design.)

That is why spaces like the 'Ssamzie Market' are so interesting to me both architecturally and socially. It is a public space which is at the same time very private because it has not only a personable feel to it, but an individual touch which shows both an abundance of creativity and individualism; two things which are often hard to come by in Seoul. It is also a space which has been reclaimed by the people in a way as all the walls are covered with graffiti and personal messages from visitors from all over the planet. I think creatively engaging spaces like this are so important in any culture, but especially in Korea where there are very few places to be publicly creative and individual.

Another space that I greatly appreciate is the design cafe: MMMG, Millimeter Milligram Inc. I think that it is one of the truely cool places that I have been to in a while. It is not trying to be trendy but is acheiving maximum trendiness by virtue of the fact that the company sells excellent quality environmentally conscious goods and also boasts extremely good food, coffee and interior design. All in a fairly intimate environment in a building which does not invite overt attention. It one of those places that most people walk by, but once you go in, you will go back frequently. This is me enjoying a butter, berry scone and an iced coffee.

The thing that continues to surprise me about Korea and Seoul in particular is that it is a city which opens it's hidden charms and softer side slowly but surely. It can be such a harsh, rough and difficult place to live. Not because it is violent, it certainly isn't, but because people are so focused on living their own lives and acheiving greatness int heir own ways, that people rarely stop to enjoy, and even rarer still stop to help others and be thoughtful towards others. I find this somewhat paradoxical considering the number of self proclaimed Christians you see everywhere. It is NOT a very charitable, compassionate, or understanding place to live for foreigners or anyone who cannot afford to keep up with the Jones'. But there are these small places to escape the chaos and the competitive lifestyle that drives this city, and those are the places to be. Especially in the summer, where life should be about slowing down, relaxing and taking time to smaell the effing flowers.

Let's get this party started! ...Again.

2011-06-19T23:20:00.000-07:00

BIG NEWS!
I GOT THE JOB!!!
Yes, after all that soul searching in my last post and the wanderlusting for a greater purpose to my life in Korea, my prayers were seemingly answered in the form of an offer of employment by Soongsil University in seoul, SK. http://eng.ssu.ac.kr/web/eng !!!!!!!!!! And when it comes down to it, no one was probably more suprised than I was.
I had pretty much prepared myself for defeat. I hadn't heard from anyschool and then in the last week on may, I heard from 1 school a bit south of Seoul. So off I went for my first real face to face job interview since I interviewed for the summer camp teaching position at the Westmount Visual Arts Center (great summer, awful job!). I was pretty nervous, but it was a great experience, and based on the pretty positive feedback I got from the program director, I thought I stood a pretty fair chance at getting the job. Ok, so I would be about an hour and a half south of the city, but hey, it was still a good job.
On that very day, I got my second interview at Soongsil University. This one came attached with the ever terrifying teaching demo for a panel of faculty and administrators, gulp!
'Please come prepared to teach a small 10-15 minute activity on the Present Perfect tense.' I thought sure, ok, no problem. But then I looked carefully at the present perfect tense and nearly shit my pants. WHAATTTT??? REALLY??? That one is sooooooooo hard for non native English speakers.
Therefore I pulled out my secret weapon; my mother. She has been working in English lit and ESL for 30 years and i put great stock into her advice on lesson planning activities. Their usually bang on. Experience can NOT be bought, (SCRATCH THAT; you can totally buy experience, duh, that's what a personal consultant is called)... but if you don't have the stomach or the budget for that, it can also be shared. Let it be a solid peace of advice for alllll those who aren't quite sure which direction to work towards to just ask someone who has a lot of experience in that field to nudge you in the right direction and BAM! you just might come up with something pretty amazing.
So, along with a proper nudge, I came up with something pretty amazing. Rather than just trying to teach the Present Perfect directly, I made an activity that would compare and contrast it with the tenses that people most often confuse it with; mainly the Present Simple and Simple Past. I had 3 sentences in each tense deconstructed into broken sentences. What I pointed out was that there were certain words that would distinguish one tense from the other and that by memorizing those words and using them as signal words you could more clearly distinguish between tenses and by putting all the sentences back together again, it would really challenge students not only to work in groups but also to create sentence structures in different tenses. WOOT! It was hard and time consuming to come up with this kind of activity instead of just delivering the material directly, but it was definitely more student centered, and in the end, I guess that's what they really wanted.
15 minutes goes by realllllllllllllllllly quickly and I had no idea whether it had been successful or not. But I thought the interview part went very well, and I was right to think so, because less than 2 hours later, they called me and offered me the position!!!!!
It is so great to feel vindicated and that all of your hard work has paid off. I think that's one of the things that University best prepares you for. It teaches you that hard work and persistance usually DO wreap some pretty good rewards. I always feel most sattisfied and purely happy when I do something hard and get rewarded for my actions. I think my reactin to the news was the most telling sign that this was something that I really wanted. I was out for dinner with my friend and I basically had to leave the restaurant so I could go and run up and down the street screaming a couple times! lol!
Now that I have the job, there will certainly be some harder work days ahaead of me, not to mention the stress of getting a new visa, packing up and moving into a new appartment and neighbouhood and begining a completely new job. The intimidation factor is pretty high, but I have to believe that they would not have hired me if they didn't think I could do the job and that things will work themselves out for the best.
Over the next 2 months I will be winding things down and out at Garak Elementary school and moving forward to a new place (litterally) in my Korean adventure. Sometimes you hear a change is as good as a rest and I completely agree. My life here was beginning to stagnate and it was time for a change. It was time to start challenging myself a little bit more and pushing my career forward to a new level of demand and success. This is a good thing. Despite the fact that it will be ahrd work, I have found myself so much more excited and motivated about this new job than my curent one than I ever expected to be. I feel as though it has given me a new purpose and validation for being here. I just hope that I can live up to the expectations the university has of my teaching abilities. The good news is that i have my very own professional personal consltant a skype call away that I'm sure will be able to help and guide me through this precarious new ground. I also have two months to start studying.... better get on that!
It makes me think of a quote that this one English teacher uses in her posts on the resource site I often use for work:
"Hard work beats talent, when talent doesn't work hard."
But when talent decides to work hard, ...well I guess the rest is pretty self explanatory.
Sorry hard working guys, but I get to collect the $200 and pass GO on this one. ;)

Bends in the road; is life one giant metaphor?

2011-05-24T21:49:00.000-07:00

Sometimes the pathway that we are on in our lives must and do take a detour. A bend in the road, so to say. A change in direction. Sometimes it is greater and more significant than at others. Sometimes it is a noticeable change of course and at others it can be a gradual sweeping bend. But if there is one thing that is for sure, it is that this change, this bend is unavoidable.

Life is constantly changing, and sometimes it is wise to sit up and take notice of which way it is heading. You may have to take the wheel and consciously steer it in the right direction.

Sometimes I feel as though my life is a wandering lazy road here in Korea. That I have no destination nor any sort of road map to get me to where I don't know I am going.... Sometimes this is a very liberating feeling, but at other times, it can feel uneasy and frightening. My life has been gradually turning a corner this year. I feel that there is another major bend in the road coming soon.

Life can feel like a giant boad game sometimes with you on one team and fate/ God/ the Universe on the other team. Who will win? Is it a team game? Where is the darn rule book? How do you get ahead and win in the game of life? I guess it depends on what you consider winning or losing.

I don't think that life is purely chance. I think everything is cause and effect. I think every decision we make whether conscious or unconscious creates our destiny or how we live our life, if you will. And sometimes believing that you make your fate by your decisions puts a great deal of weight and pressure on your shoulders. I guess ideally, you just wouldn't think about it too much but rather, just to try and follow your heart and make positive decisions in your life without the fear of somehow losing the game.

Now why all the philosophy you ask? I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I have been applying for new jobs the past month. I am most of the way through my second contract with Seoul Metropolitain and i feel as though it is high time for a change. So I have been applying for university teaching jobs instead. While I have concentrated on other teaching jobs within Korea, I have also begun to look outside of the country. While this is all mainly positive, what isn't is the fact that i have had no interview of job offers thus far, and as discussed above, time does NOT stand still and I have to find something sooner rather than later.

I have been thinking about my options if I don't find a new position before the summer. I am better off than a lot of 26 year olds these days. I have full time contracted employment with a government agency in a relative field of employment. I am gaining valuable teaching experience, life experience and most importantly paying down my student loans in the process. Why screw with that right? Why shouldn't I stay for a third contract which will not only offer me a pay raise but a fairly stress free existance as I repeat the same routine with no real responsibilities for a third year?.... Well, because I feel as though I am not really moving forward here towards a meaningful career.

I feel as though I have put my life on hold. As though I am just making do while I am here, so that I can really start living when I get back to Canada. When I was only going to be here for one year, that seemed reasonable. During my second year it has felt like I am avoiding something. Now that I am contemplating a third year it seems downright unhealthy and lazy of me.

The problem is that you come here so impermanantly that it is really hard to develop any sort of mentality that promotes stability and dedication to living here acording to the standards that you would hold yourself to in your home country. I have been PUTTING UP WITH or DEALING WITHOUT so many things in my life here because I am only here 'for a little while'. No one wants to invest in a life and STUFF that they will just have to get rid of when they move on, but after a while it starts to feel as though you are avoiding living to a full, healthy and happy extent. You can only live out of carboard boxes and furniture found in the trash for so long before you start to question why you aren't investing more into your life RIGHT NOW?

And so, I find myself here, now, at this difficult turn in the road. Do I stay or do I go? How do I commit to a lifestyle that I know is impermanat? It's like trying hard not to become too attached to a new friend that is only here on exchange because you know how hard it's going to be to say goodbye. And then, there is a philosophy to live fully in the moment rather than the future. Easy enough said but somewhat difficult to do. All I know for sure is that:

'with your mind you make the world'. And the mind can be a massive A**HOLE!

I am hoping that as soon as I can see the road a bit more clearly that I will be able to act accordingly. In the mean time, I guess I should stop worrying about the practicallity and rationality of spending money on stuff that I may very soon be getting rid of and just do what I have to to sattisfy my ideas of a happy successful life.

First thing is first, buy that stupid bike you have been debating about for the past 4 months.

February-April.... I need to write more often, lol!

2011-04-26T06:40:00.000-07:00

These past couple of months, my life in Korea has become about my friends. And in particular, my friendship with Silvia. Helen, sadly, left Korea at the end of February to study her CELTA, so since then I have been hanging out a lot with Silvia and trying to get out there and meet new folks and enjoy my time in SoKo. I've been trying to get more involved in events and outtings. during the first weekend of April, I went on a bike tour of Guyngju (the ancient capital city of Korea) along the way I had some good adventures and met some great people. But most importantly of all, I saw some beautiful cherry blossoms and the beauties of Korean spring time.

Team 'Millenium Smile' We cycled together for 2 days and covered a ton of kms. :)

PAGODA!

Biking through the rice paddies! It was warm, but not hot and dry as a bone, best biking weather!

Another good friend I've made this year has been Adira Sharp. We've had goos times seeing punk rock shows, shopping, bitching about Korea and running around Seoul. Unfortunately she is also slated to leave Korea very soon to go back to the Sates. C'est la vie. Her husband, Gavin, is in a great band called 'The Tremmors'. I'll miss her infectious laugh and pescimism. It's fun to laugh with someone else.

Just in time for Easter, the green began to make it's appearance in Seoul. In Olympic park, you can always catch special little moments, such as this little encounter with a wild Easter bunny!
In Korea there is a habbit of abandoning pets in public locations, and you know what they say about reproducing like bunnies....

Enjoying a beautiful afternoon at the park. One thing you can give Koreans is their ability to make large public sculptures and spaces. The bigger the better!

Here is a view of my English class which I have decorated with paper crepe flowers and kids drawings this season. One of the best parts of having a classroom is getting to decorate it and make it your own :)

Saint Patricks day in Seoul is still remarkable large. Those pesky Irish are everwhere! lol! And what better company to spend the day in than a load of Irish people!

Earlier in March I participated in a jewelery making workshop with the

Laughing Tree Gallery. I decided to go all fancy and I've always wanted to create a cameo style piece of jewelery.

Also in March, I went on a booze cruise with my Incheon friends, Jeremy, Lauren, Ferg, mel and Derrick. It was possibly more of an excuse to drink on a boat and less of a sight seeing cruise, but it was still a good time. Except for the standing in line for one of the 3 cubicles on board. That part was actually kinda less fun. Beer on a boat with no toilets, brilliant.

I haven't been overly productive with making art recently. As you can see, I've actually been mostly taking pictures. here are a couple prints that I made earlier on this winter for the V-Art Exhibition and International Women's day.

More recently, I have been working on getting my act together to apply for University teaching positions in Korea beginning next September. It's a very long process.... Wish me luck!

Home for a rest

2011-02-01T14:35:00.000-08:00

On January 8th, I finally began to make my way back to Canada for the first time since the beginning of my first work contract in August 2009. It had been a long time coming and I made sure that I would be going home for as long as possible. I negotiated with my school to make sure that I could get the longest amount of vacation days in a row as possible. In the end, I was able to get off almost a month, from January 8 until February 6th, including weekends. Although it meant that I had to give one of my vacation weeks in February to camp, it was worth it, to be able to come back home for a longer amount of time.

It was slightly difficult to leave all of my best friends behind me in Seoul for a month especially as both Helen and Adira are both leaving Korea near the end of February. :( Fortunately they were both there along with a bunch of my other good friends to see me off before I left.

The flight from Seoul, South Korea to Toronto, Canada is a HUGE journey. It is literally flying around the planet to the other side of the world. The flight itself is around 15hours long plus the time difference. That doesn't include getting to the airport, checking in, and even stopping over if you don't have a direct flight.... So in reality, the total traveling time is close to 25+ hours plus the time difference. Thus was the reality of my travel experience.

It was also the beginning of my adventure back in Canada.

Christmas in Seoul, Take 2.

2010-12-30T03:35:00.001-08:00

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! All I want for Christmas is Gaspard Uliel. Is that really too much to ask? A hunky man angel who will come down from the sky and treat me like a princess... yeah, ok, I know. Not going to happen, so instead, I settled for the next best thing, dinner and celebration with good friends. Here is a summative chronicle of my Christmas 2010. For some odd reason I can never load the pictures in order, so it may at this time be sligtly sloppy. Helen my dear came over the night before for Christmas eve dinner and a chat. She was off to Thailand the next day on a whilr wind adventure, so we decided to take it easy and stay in. Christmas was on a Saturday this year and thanks to my brilliant friends Dara and Jess, a bunch of us had reservations for Christmas dinner at the 'Wolfhound Irish Pub' in Itaewon.

So we shall skip right to the near end of the night. We got to the Wolfhound near 2pm and Christmas dinner was served at 3pm. It was a packed venue and we squeezed ourselves into the pub to enjoy turkey, mashed potatos and gravy with cranberry sauce. It was sooooooo worth it! There was also beer. A looooootttttt of beer. lol!

Jess and I getting our pose on in the bar. Red was a popular wardrobe choice it being very merry and festive and all.

Jess, Alec, myself and this lovely Phillipina (whose name I can't recall, oops!) As you can see, people were making merry behind us. Sometimes the people watching in bars like the Wolfhoud makes the trip woth while in it of itself. By 8pm there was chair dancing. By 9pm a girl actually flashed the entire bar.... by 10pm there were couple making out in public... yup, it was a verry merry evening.

Later on we moved the party on to Woodstock bar. Alec plays the guitar base in a really good rock band. (not pictured here, these guys do Zeppelin covers). We proceeded to drink more beer, not get into fights and listen to some pretty good live rock music.

Me, Alex, Phillipina, Jess, Dara, Gavin and Adira. and our food :) yum.

Me, Keelan and Alec. Keelan was a friend of Jess and Dara's who was visiting from Ireland for a couple of weeks. It was funny but somehow I ended up having Christmas with a table full of Irish friends... I call that a good time :)

Jess being the sweet heart that she is.

Dara and Jess might just be the most selfless, funloving couple I've met in a while.

Gavin and Adira follow that status up closely though. Unfortunately, they are soon leaving Seoul to go and get married in the US. Ah, c'est la vie! Well that is it. That was my Christmas day and I am thankful to have spent it with some great people and eating some good food :) Now it's time to get ready and look forward to the New Year! Can't wait!!!

Running for a Good Cause

2010-12-20T03:54:00.000-08:00

www.santafestival.com

On December 11th, I participated in the annual Santa Festival Running Race at Olympic park with a bunch of teacher friends from all over South Korea. We were team "Santa's Sprinters" and together we participated in the 5 and 10km runs to raise money for charity.

It was possibly the colllllllddddddeeeeessssssstttttttttttt day of the year so far in Seoul -10oC!!!! with the windshield and gearing up for the race was rather painfully cold. However the Korean chearleaders were fearless in their mini-shirts as they led the crowd through a choreographed warm up. Nothing like watching 100 people do scissor kicks in unison.

ANNNNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDDDDDD stretch!!!!!

It was cool! I have never participated in an event where I needed a number pinned to me. I was always in sports that were organized in pre-seated heats. It was freazing though! Our fingers kept going numb before we could manage all 4 pins! lol

Braving the cold to help each other get ready for the race.

Thankfully the race fee included a complimentary scarf and santa hat which I took advantage of immediately! Red, warm and fuzzy. This race was especially great for me for two reasons. First, it gave me a bit of motivation to get out of the house and get active and secondly, it was super convenient being held at Mongchontoseong stn. at the peace gates right accross the street from my house!!

In true Korean fashion it was increadibly confusing and difficult to find our check in station, but in the end we got there.

They also seemed to have the running event sponsored by choco-pie and cookie companies that were giving out copious amounts of their product with coffee. HAHAHAHA! Come and run and then have a cookie, oh the rationalism of this country never fails to amuse me.

I met some really great people during this event including Stacy Kirk (on the right) and Mayra Vargas (pictured with me at top).

A view of the Peace Gates at Olympic park. This was an extremely good day and a very worthwhile event. I have to thank Dominic Luther who organized this entire event and got everyone involved in this race. It was my first running race, and after this experice I know that a) I am dreadfully out of shape, but b) i would totally do it again. My competitive nature got the best of me. As soon as the gun went off, so did i at a run and I managed to run the ENTIRE THING!!!!!!!!!! 5km in 0:34:00 minutes!!! I was really surprised and quite pleased with myself. Large credit is due to Stacy who matched my pace exactly and chatted with me thw entire way. Thanks Stacy! After wards we celebrated with italian food and beer for lunch. Then it was off home for a shower and a nap! Good times and something new. Yay and MERRY CHRISTMAS! HOHOHO!!

It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas

2010-12-16T05:47:00.001-08:00

As a public school teacher in South Korea, Winter camp is a yearly event that allows us to spread our wings and take a stab at teaching projects in our specialized fields. Oh yeah, i did go to college for 'something in particular'.

In this case, I am doing the arts & Crafts unit. I have been reserching the traditional art of Korean quilting. It's called Bojagi. It is a culturally relevant art form as these cloths were used for storing household items, as part of a brides hope chest and also as carrying cloths in which people carried all their possessions during harder times. They are also connected to both common people, the royal families and also the Buddhist monks for ceremonial rites. cool

I recently took part in the DRIPAN Art Walk Event in Haebonchong, Seoul. There is my work on the wall of RUFXXX surrounded by some very cool paintings.

The event had artists walking from one venue to another in the style of a bar hop, only in this case, it was an art hop.

There were spoken word artists such as karis and lauren pictured above.

There was also soooooooooome drinking involved. Here we are in a tiny irish pub surrounded by good art and people. These were two Persian brothers we met.

At one point there was a music performance/ live graffitti performance going on in the underpass near Noksapyong Stn. The fumes of the spray paint added to the joy of the event

There was also a rap battle at this tiny undergound bar. The guys would take a theme suggestion from the crowd and make a rhyme based on it with impovised music and so on...

The evening had begun at the Laughing Tree Gallery. It has become kind of a hub for coolness in that neighbourhood. I love being part of something relevant and meaningful. A BIG thanks to Dann and Rippley for putting this all together. I hope this weill be the fist of many such events. :) dripan.blogspot.com

I also participated in The 'Art for Love' charity art auction again this year. I donated my two photographs from the Yongsan exhibition. Both of which sold. I also won a couple door prizes including this amazingly beautiful rose necklace!

Because it is Korea, the auction was taking a veryyyy long time and so, my friend Anjee and I stepped out for some corned beef sandwiches on rye bread at the wonderful 'Suji's Diner'.

Real bread! Real meat! Really cute tea pots! Amazing!

The quality of the work presented at the auction was actually much better than I had expected. I think a lot of it had to do with the fact that this was a more contemporary philanthropic event that tended to attract a younger more socially conscious artist rather than the old entrenched korean men who do flower paintings and like predictable work.... Just saying.

I was surprised that the quality of the hanging was so shitty. no lables, things were crooked, unstable and soooooooooooooooo many works were damaged. Only in Korea. My frame was damaged as well which i am sure depreciated the sale. Fuckkers.

Buttttttttttt, on the whole, it's been rather a succesful month. I am patiently waiting for the end of the school year which is fast approaching. Then it is two weeks of camp, and to be honest i like my camp. the it is off home for almost a month!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeeeeeeeeeeehoooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now to make sure i have my holiday plans all wrapped up. Another Christmas in Korea, let's see what this one brings.

Trying not to Fall behind

2010-11-24T03:56:00.001-08:00

On the first weekend of November, I set out with Jeremy and a group of Incheon friends on a tour and hike of South koreas famous seoraksan Mountain in Gangwon province. It was a challenging but rewarding and beautiful weekend full of suprises, new friends and some amazing scenery.

Jeremy and I on the bus. Can't you just see the excitment radiating out of us?! Come on mountains, we'll take you! On the way we actually got into a bus accident as our driver went over the guard rail and nearly drove us into the ditch... haha, all part of the adventure... eugh... right?

It was a sunny, misty, windy day; all of which produced some pretty dramatic lighting for photographs. This trip confirmed my decision to get a better camera when i go back home in January. Sorry Powershot, I love you but you are old and grainey now TT (sad tears)

from left to right: hannah, Lauren, Derek, Mel, MOI and Jeremy. Right before the train became fairly vertical. I was certainly not the best climber of the group... oh who am I kidding, I'm in horrible shape right now, *sigh.

I was so coordinated with my hiking outfit. You can call it a side effect of living in this country for too long. See red, red, navy with red trim... etc. It was a really fun day and it was good to get out and have a new korean adventure. I am becoming too complacent in my situation here for my liking. Gotta get out and keep exploring new territories :)

There were also cable cars that you could buy a ticket for that would take you to an observatory several hundred meters up the mountain. Pretty cool. I didn't do it, but maybe next time, especially now that I know what it means to try and climb to the top by yourself, lol.

Picture, picture, picture, picture, picture, picture, hike, picture...

There is a beautiful temple and Buddha statue at the base of the mountain. It does feel like a very energetic place. i went and did my 3 prostrations infront of the Buddha and inside the Song-bong. It feels realy cool to be able to participate in these environments in a meaningful way.

Lauren, Jeremy, Ferg and I infront of the big Buddha! Kimchi!

Old Stompers in Itaewon has been holding a battle of the bands throughout November. The Tremmors played in drag and zombie costumes on Halloween. They are a great punk band based out of seoul. james and I hung out with them when we participated in a Zombie crawl together. I guess you could say scarring Koreans together makes you fast friends.

James, Dara and I on Halloween night in out Zombie get up. I was the first time that I dressed up as anything scarry, EVER. And it was great!!! We were like celebrities all night! Haha, i am converted to the goary Halloween costume from now on. Plus, the makeup was super fun!

ZOMBYRIFFIC!!!!!!!

This is one of the pieces that I did for the live drum session in the park that i sketched near the end of October. Like with the drum festival, my painting and drawing really changes in style and fluidity when I draw on the spot rather than from photographs... cool

I have been reading a lot of vampire novels recently (eugh *cough Twilight *cough!! and I think it has been influencing my aesthetic. Not that I am ready to go goth or anything, but I am trying to embrace my dark hair and too pale skin :)

So that in a nut shell is what has been going on this past month. I have made some new friends and said goodbey to some others. I am continuing to find a rhythm and dealing with the daily struggles of being a foreinger in South Korea where rationality, wit and sarcasm are often completely lost in translation. I bought my plane ticket home from January 8th - Feb 4th. I will be happy to see everyone in canada after such a long time away. No new news romantically although time is healing the hurt of my last breakup. School is trecking on with less than 2 months of lessons roughly left in the curriculum, and I have a couple art shows lined up as well as a charity 10km race on the agenda for December. So I guess I am keeping myself relatively buisy, but there is alway room for improvement.

Fall

2010-10-24T04:18:00.000-07:00

Having a galbi dinner with some of the members of the International Artist Collective after a critique at the Myeongdong Gallery. It has been really great to find friends who are also interested in advancing their artistic careers.

This is the painting that i produced for "the Seoul Drum Festival", featuring the Uni-fi drum group and Affrican drummers. I painted live on stage with other artists while the musicians performed. It was pretty great. I also participated in another live sketch this past weekend in Hongdae park. It was a bit less formal, but way more fun. I think that getting out into the open and really just going for it is the best way for me to push forward my intuition as an artists and painter. It's something I'm going to try and continue to work on.

This is a view of the Olympic park lake with the changing leaves reflected in the water. i really do love my new neighbourhood. It's nice to have a bit of nature near by in this big city. The park itself is a little bit of peace from the hecktic pace and grey of the city scape.

I recently participated in the 'Yongsan International Art Exhibition' in Noksapyeong along with several other members of the I.A.C. This was the opening reception dinner. It was a real nod to all the pomp that Korea loves to give events without any real cause or meaning behind it. Angie and I, along with most of the other foreign artists were slightly bewildered by the entire event. But the food was great and i won a door prize of a new watercolour set :)

Me posing beside my two photographs "Art in the Street", 2010. The work done by the collective was generally WAY stronger in terms of conceptual and contemporary relevance campared with most of the work produced by the Korean artists. It was hard to believe that there could be so many flower paintings and landscapes done in a classical style.... too many.

* * *

October has come and nearly gone. Time seems to have spead up even more since school began and I can hardly believ that next week is Halloween and midterm already!!! My time in seoul has been undergoing some changes in the past weeks. It's only natural that after being here for a year, my perspective on the city as well as my understanding of Korea and it's culture should reflect that time spent. sometimes I often feel that i should know a LOT more than i do, but however i can't feel totally amiss because i have acheived a lot since being here and I do feel that I have come to find a degree of balance and acceptance with living in this strange strange country. Life as a public school teacher in this country certainly comes with it's challenges, but I have also been enjoying all of the conveniences that living in such a large metropolitain city affords more and more. Especially since the quality of help from my co-teachers has improved so dramatically. I have to make sure not to fall into a rut at school. I need to challenge myself to be a better more focused teacher. I also need to challenge myself to look for a better job that will bring my career forward. Because there aint no way I am doing a year 3 at Garak elementary school.

While school has generally improved, my social life has been a bit more difficult recently. maybe it's just homesickness, but it's been a bit lonely here recently. My break up with James in September forced me to re-visit not only my goals and expectations about being here but also the necessity of making new aquaintances and not relying on this to remain too stable here. I sometime forget that we are all nomads here, drawn by the security of a steady paycheck and the oportunity of constant adventure, yet we are all essentially alone and unrooted from our known surroundings. People will come and go and come and go and leave to different places, at different times, for different purposes. So change is inevitable and yet it is also really important not to let myself fall into habit, routine and bordome which doesn't take advantage of living in Korea and the possibility of meeting new interesting friends.

I think it was Sunim who told me that we are essentially the same person with the same problems no mater where we go. Place is an illusion, only ones present situation is real. It's still hard not to get caught up in the routine of a 9-5 exhistance and forget to sit up look around and think "HEY! I'm in Korea!". And so, my greatest ambition in my second year in Korea is and will continue to be to sit up every day and take advantage of my situation here and to be more involved in being in Korea. Now I feel like a broken record, because I know I've said this before so maybe what I'm looking for is more the strength to do what I know is right and best for myself and my life in Korea.

Well as you can tell, I have been trying to bring a certain amount of focus back to my artwork in the past little while and not forget my reasons for having come to Seoul in the first place.

And in that respect I feel as though I have been making a concentrated effort and gaining momentum. My hope now is to keep the ball rolling so to speak and to try and have fun in the process of doing so.

I want some caaawwwwwwffeeeee

2010-09-28T04:28:00.001-07:00

Haeundae Beach, Busan.

Kumazawa Mikiko, Erosion, pencil on geso, 2009.

I had my first guest house stay ever with Chan and his lovely girlfriend. 'Chan's house' in Busan

Oliver Clegg, There you are, oil on found wooden desks, 2010

Crazy installation! I neglected to take names down at first. oops!

The Busan Biennale. The Museum of Modern art in Busan.

A random beautiful lake at a rest stop on the way to Busan.

A victorious moment for my apartment. I bought and finally installed a new closet unit!

Singing my little heart out at Noraebang!

Helen, Mia and I. Peace Korea!

Life has these really lovely moments where if you stop and pay attention, there's really not all that much to be sad about. Life also has some pretty shitty moments. Both have ocured in my life recently. For every up there is a down... or something like that.

School, although it continues to give me slight moments of anxiety has fallen into a kind of rhythm that is much smoother and easier to maintain than I thought would be possible. The job itself is becoming easier and easier. What is not so easy is the dealing with incompetent bullshit administration errors which make my life a pice of crap some days and have begun to make my hair thin in a way that makes me wonder if a solid paycheque is really worth it?
We all have the things that get to us and the things we can let go.... keep working on the letting go part. I've come to the conclusion that the people who do really well in Korea are the people who are really good at that letting go part. And boy is it hard sometimes. Don't fight the man. Play dumb, follow along without questioning or surprise and all should go relatively well. Damn!

I do enjoy the teaching part, especially now that I have a fancy new class with a touch screen and a mic! The kids have also responded really positively to the new english environment although surprisingly it is harder to control them than when they're in their own classroom. Perhaps they can sense that it isn't really my classroom (I have to ask for a key to open it every day...) and that makes me weak... erg.

Last week was Chuseok vacation, and although I couldn't find anyone to travel with, I decided to still go to Busan by myself to see the Biennale and get out of Seoul for a couple days. It was by all acounts a pretty good trip. A bit lonely. I don't think I love traveling by myself... but still a good oportunity to see some good art. And I DID make it to a coupple kick butt Jimjilbangs as well as swim in the Ocean (always a very positive experience)! I ended the week by participating in the Seoul Drum Festival. I took part in a colaborative art piece that features 2 drum groups and several artists drawing the oerformance live as well as an affrican dancer. It was cool! What was even more interesting was the fact that last year I was in the crowd. It's moments like these that have been making me feel as though I may be finding a path here slowly but surely. I think it's time to start focusing more seriously on my artwork again. I took a bit of a break this summer with the move and all, but now that I have found a rhythm in my new environment it's time to get out there, see new things, and make more efforts to be productive in the evenings and weekends.

This week I have to pull my piece for the Yongsan Exhibition together. I think it will be fairly interesting to see how it turns out.

I may also go on a rafting trip with some people I met on my trip with Jeremy in Chuncheon. James might come. We've decided to make an honest effort to remain friends and so far things are going pretty well. Time will tell... c'est la vie!

South Korea: year two.

2010-09-05T04:58:00.000-07:00

Platoon Gallery, night flea market, Hak-dong

James and I at his favorit bar: Rock Day! in Suyu

The Keith Haring retrospective at the Soma Museum of Art, Onlympic Park

The World Peace Gates, Olympic Park South Gate

People out and enjoying the summer rays in the Chongye Stream, Gwangwamun

Ah summer. You are so long coming and yet you persist in flying by, almost without saying hello long enough for us to appreciate how wonderful you are. Summer, you are my favorite of all the seasons, and while it may sound biast to say so, I heartily stand my ground on this one.

I have now been back at work for a week and I have to say that although it is exhausting, I have handled my stress and dissappointments much better this past week than i expected to. I guess you could say that i went into the semester prepared for the absolute random chaos and dissappointing mess I knew I was about to face. Third time's a charm so they say. so it being my third semester at my school, I have a much better understanding of what to and what not to expect from my administration and my co workers. And days of random chaos and severe dissapointment have been the general trend in the past. So this time I was ready for them when they came. And that made it all a bit easier to take.

I guess in some ways I have just gotten used to the way that korean culture functions in these matters, which is like chickens with their heads cut off all to concerned with saving face to really do and say what needs to be done to make things move quickly and end up with efficient results. But hey, when in Rome..... I find that i am using a lot of expressions and saying in my professional philosophy these days. Sayings that I do not strictly believ, but which I have absorbed in order to function with less stress in this particular working environment.

So, here's the week in a nut shell. I showed up first thing on Monday morning ready to sit around and do absolutely nothing... which is what I did. I managed to find out who was the new head of the office and get her permission to move right sharp to a new computer. Which I did. I took JayEuns old computer. Only problem was that all my files from last year were on my old slow as sluggs computer. So I had the new teacher (who unfortunately for her got stuck with that crap box) send me the files through messenger. Then I sat around and waited for people to figure out what i would be teaching and who I would be teaching with. You would think that they would do this during one of the 6 weeks between then end of the last term and the beginning of the new one, but no. Instead it was a frantic and confusing scramble, which in the end produced an even more confusing and convaluted schedule for me than last year in which I teach 4 different grades (and all different sections and lessons of those grades including exactly 1 section of one grade 6 class????). And I also have 5 co-teachers.... yup. FIVE!!!!! My main two co-teachers are new, as in I have never worked with them before even after having been at the school for over a year. You would think that they would want me to, I don't know, develop some sort of teaching relationship with these people instead of building up to nothing every semester, but well that would be too easy I guess.

The rest of the week was spent in a combination of meeting my new co-teachers, trying to figure out some sort of a preparation schedule which is mutually convenient for both of us and sorting all of my lesson plan files from last year. It was, like I said, a pretty tiering week. But I feel that I have at least been given co-teachers who are interested in working with me and actually participating in not only the lesson laning, but the instruction as well!!!!!!!!!!!!! And that, if nothing else should make this year a whole LOT easier than it was last year! That and the combination of being one year more experienced, having students that know me and my teaching style and also being a lot happier in my personal life and in my relationship with Korea. Now, there are many things that i could complain about, but I am trying to deal with them in a way that will get me what I want. I still have a lot of work to do to get to know my new teachers and also make myself a better reputation with my school. I am hoping that they will see that now that I am living in korea and have good co-teachers that my work attitude has also improved. I would like to build a better relationship with my school, my students and my co-teachers this year, because the stress from work and all of those tensions was really stressful last year and I'd rather not carry that load again this year as much as possible.

Like I had said, it is time to reasses my goals in terms of my life in Korea and figure out what to do to make it more organized, balanced and fun. Sometimes, life can get a little messy, but with a little bit of focus and cleaning, things soon come back into line and start to feel less awkward and difficult. So what is needed id the motivation to keep up an optimistic attitude and keep doing the things that will make my life here easier. Time to get started.

Catching Up With Summer

2010-08-24T23:14:00.001-07:00

Today is August 26th and officially I have only 2 days left of my summer vacation before school begins again on the 30th. It also means that I have officially been living in Korea for a year now! WOW! That is a long time when you think about it. 367days (if you count when I actually left Casnada). This summer has flown by, absolutely, no question. But it has also been jam packed and full of happy and interesting events.

I taught at two seperate summer camps over 3 weeks in July and August. I also negotiated moving into a new apartment IN SEOUL a month earlier than scheduled. That took up a lot of time effort over the past months. But the rewards of finally living in the city in a neighborhood I look forward to coming home to will be well worth the strain and anxiety of moving in a foreign country. I have been spending a lot of time with my friends and I also attended the Jisan Valley Rock Festival with James and a bunch of his Korean chingu (friends). But all summer vacations also need some sort of trip to secure themselves as worthy of mention in the future. That was taken care of with a week long tour around the South Korean coast with my friend Jeremy. All in all it has been a pretty nice summer. I played, partied, danced, traveled, moved, worked and relaxed for the first time in wayyyy tooooooo looooonnnnnnnnggggggggggggg. To end things on a proper note, I have planned a final weekend at the beach with my friend Silvia. In all, things seem to be coming together for me in my Korean life. It has not been easy, but it has taught me many things about living in a foreign culture and also about my determination, drive and commitment to seeing things through and making things work for the best. Things that seemed unattainable here don't so much anymore. I have a coupple theories as to why that is. First, it has been almost a year since I finished myu Masters and the strain of Academic burn out is beginning to fade. So much so that I am actually excited about beginning to study Korean. I started last week with James a bit and I think that with some hard effort I could make a lot of progress fairly quickly. The challenge will be to make it happen for real. My second theory is that the effects of culture shock which were extremely severe in my case, have alsoo begun to wear off and my disposition towards the country and my situation are all together more positive and optimistic. Both of these things perhaps have made it easier to imaging staying here another year and doing a better job at everything that I've had so much trouble getting ahold of this year. So many things that i once thought under my grasp have elluded me this year and I hope that this year I will be able to recalim a measure of control over them. That's the hope anyway.
Photos:
Mokpo harbor
Me at Gwangalli Beach, Busan
The gang partying at Jisan
James and I having a couples moment at Jisan
Me preparing camp teaching materials with my awesome co-teacher Sungwoo.

My trips, travels, concerts and visits with friends have all contributed to this new energy and direction in my life here. Let's give credit where credit is due shall we; James has really helped improve my attitude towards life here in the past coupple of months. A positive attitude is infectious. He has given me a new perspective on life here, that it can be special (not just biding my time before I decide to get a real job.) He has reminded me not to get lazy with my life and fall into a blundering routine, but to put effort into challenging myself with the new and the unknown.
And in a way I feel like I am starting fresh on a new leg. Sometimes I go over all the things that I have acomplished in the recent past to remind myself that I am doing something with my life and also to remind myself how time moves forward and how all things fall into their relative perspective and importance as time does move forward. Things that seemes impossible before have been done and forgotten and things that once were blown out of perspective have deminished in their scope, leaving a more relaxed and less bothered me in their wake.

With this new found energy and interest in my surroundings here, I am not only looking forward to the challenges of the new school year but also to all of the adventures and possibilities that Korea has in store for me over the next year.
My list of things to do has not gotten any shorter over the past year, but that list has changed quite a bit and that makes me feel like i am moving forward through my list of goals and things I would like to acomplish in Korea. Revisiting my list from this time last year i can really see just how far I have come and that makes me feel increadibly proud and optimistic about what i might acomplish in the upcoming months. Challenges and adventures, here I come.

A la prochaine!

It's the small stuff that counts

2010-07-24T21:14:00.000-07:00

As my first year is Seouth Korea comes closer and closer to being done, I have been realising just how much I have done and changed and experienced. It is a good if not slightly bewildering feeling. When you are constantly aware of your every day struggles, it can be difficult to see your overall acheivements in a given situation. But I think that this next month should be a celebration of the cultural, professional and personal acheivements that I have made this past year. A renewed sense of interest and adventure is what I hope to bring into my second year here.

After so many months of struggling through culture shock and health problems, things seem to be leveling out here more or less. I find less things shocking and upsetting on a daily basis or rather they seem to bother me less and less. A profound sense of acceptance towards my situation here has let me turn my opinion and view of life in Korea from negative to positive. Sharing my experiences with another person has given validity to my life here and also something to look forward to. a reason to stay, to try, to be a better self and person. It's kind of easy to get lost here, all alone, so far removed from yourself and your home. But it is a great feeling to slowly come back into yourself and your passions and realise that place is only an illusion, and as long as you can ground YOURSELF in that place, anything is possible.

So the little things (all those things that you let slide while you floated through your life in aforeign land) seem to come back into sharper focus and mater more and more. It's the little things that make up an interesting, fulfilling and balanced life. Knowing were and how to buy the food that you've been missing, subconsciously performing the small cultural gestures which separate you from the tourists and grant you the respect of the natives... these are the small things that lead to feeling more settled and balanced in your life ;whether you aknowledge them or not. For the person who does pay atention to them, their lack can feel awful, but their return feels even better.

And so, I look forward into a second year here, not with anxiety, bordom or trepidation, but with a sense of excitement that i get to give it another go. This time I get to start with a much better understanding of EVERYTHING around me, including all of the little things. A new apartment, new boyfriend, new co-teacher, new outlook and understanding of the culture, all of the above will grant me the ability to start this new school year fresh but with a confidence and sense of understanding that was profoundly lacking at this same time last year. And so we celebrate the small victories which accumulated equal a life that is successfully lived.

Sweet Summer Days in Seoul

2010-07-12T07:11:00.000-07:00

A coupple of weeks ago I finally made it to the top to Namsan mountain with my friend James. With the end of the school year and my first contract in sight, I have been thinking that summer time in Seoul is the perfect time to get back into the tourist mode and enjoy this city as much as I can for what it has to offer.

At the top of the mountain, you will see that all the baricade fences are covered in locks with heatrs or love inscriptions. The idea is that lovers with go to the top of the mountain and lock their insciprted lock to one of the biggest symbols of Korea (Seoul Tower). Then they will throw the key over the edge of the observatory, for if their lock is ever broken so too shall be their love. AWWWWWWWW! How romantic!

I have been getting to more and more rock concerts in the past month. Two weeks before this, I went to see the "Rock Tigers"; a great rocka-billy act. Then last week I went to a Round Robin concert featuring a bunch of kick butt musicians at Freebird in Hongdae (the best live rock venue!) Coming up in a coupple of weeks is the Jisan valley Rock festival.... so excited!
There has been a lot of sleeping in jiljilbangs and walking around shopping and taking pictures
and I for one am thrilled about it.

I finally also got the chance to meet up with the wonderfully charming little Seul-Ki Kang; the girl who has lived with my parents in Barrie for the past coupple of years. She is my best Korean friend, almost like a little sister here.

This past weekend, I made my way to the Yongsan area of Seoul near the American military base. There, accross from the National defense building, is the War Museum of Korea. It was much more beautiful than I would have expected from a war museum. There was a lot of hardware ie: guns, swords, tanks, cannons and other instruments of war. However, there was also a great deal of visual art and costumes that made the experience both socially and culturally relevant for me. I also thought that the building and the grounds of the museum itself were the most beautiful building I've visited in korea to this day. It was also a pertinent reminder of how many nations have been involved in the development of Korea into a modern democracy over the past 50 years. The involvement of the US in particular is extremely aparent in the number of american soldiers that were killed for example in the Korean war. I was also surprised to see how involved the Canadian military have been in korea for the past 50 years or so.
There was actually some really beautiful art in the museum as well. I was surprised to see so many historical paintings painted in a Western European style depicting great battles fought by the Korean armies to ward off invaders from Japan, China etc...

I think I'll go back another time when i have more time to give to the art. Or maybe I'll go back just to sit by the moat that surrounds the building and watch children playing with the lilly pads and admire the beautiful architecture...hmmm maybe a good place to sketch.

So as you can see, i have had a rather jam packed last coupple of weeks. The good news is that the fun is not about to stop any time soon. This is great news actually, because i haven't been so happy or relaxed since i first came to korea a full 10 months ago. wow! That's a long time.
I have been making new friends and seeing new things and trying to enjoy my time in Korea for what it can offer me.

I have also been finding a certain amount of acceptance with my bogus situation at school. i have found out that it is impossible for me to transfer to another public school in Seoul based on a new and stupid rule involving somehow cutting paper work at a mynistry level... Beurocracy can kiss my ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so.... I am signing up for another year in the hope that my school will keep their promises to move me, give me a good co-teacher and a functional class space with any kind of resources. I can dream... I can dream. I have decided to hope for the best and plan for the worst. In that case i will begin a VISA re-application for a work visa, anmd start looking for University teaching jobs for march (which i should do anyway.) My reasons for staying are:

a) I have put so much effort into getting along with my school that i might as well try and make it work now that things are mellowing.

b) I have many good friends here which make the trials of school less harsh and make it worth staying and experiencing the GOOD things that this city has to offer.

c) There is very little paying work for me back home right now with so little job experience. I am too qualified for entry level positions and not quallified enough for more senior teaching and management positions... grrr. But here, I can keep building up my CV and my portfolio and experiencing the trials and joys of living in such a different culture.
d) There are exciting things happening in my life right now in Seoul and I'm willing to give Korea more of my time to keep exploring these adventures.

All of these reasons seem like good reaons to put up with the silliness that my school throws me almost on a daily basis. If nothing else i am continuing to toughen up my skin so that when I do hit the Canadian job and art market i'm not a total wet fish.

I am also getting to meet really fabulous people from all over the world. And that too is something worth cherishing and continuing to foster.

With less than one week of school left, i am looking forward to the rest of this summer as a time to cut loose, make art, travel and do my darndest to return more towards my former balanced less stressed out self. Fingers crossed!

Time gives us the moments; birthdays make them magic.

2010-06-13T20:30:00.000-07:00

"Dae Han Min Guk!!!!!" Celebrating the Korean National Soccer teams' first win over Greece to kick off this years World Cup race in South Affrica.
It was raining and the crowds were crushing, but it was an exciting evening and a true quality Korean moment.
To be amongst the crowds cheering in hangeul for the Korean team made me feel more a part of this society than anything else I've done so far.

Earlier that weekend, I celbrated my 26th birthday with some of my best friends in Korea in style, by going out to the Fench Village "Seorae meuhl" for dinner and then wine in the park.

Every year, when my birthday comes around, I tend to have these revolutionary moments where the preciousness of life becomes clearer to me and I feel inclined to live to the max and not waste one minute longer sitting still. Hitting 26 has been a lot scarrier than any other birthday for 2 reasons. First, while I may still be young to many, I can no longer reasonably be considered a YOUNG adult. Secondly, 26 seems to be an age where your family and friends expect you to be pulling your life together in a certain direction. Now that you are done school and have a job are there really that many more years where you can get away with being young and frivolous? Well yeah, probably. But is that necessarily what I want from my late 20s? Maybe, a bit... but mostly not. Hitting 26 has made me think about my long term career and personal goals a little bit harder and begin to mentally map out how I might be able to get to them -eventually-. But before I get too wraped up in that, I would like to point out that hitting 26 this past week also gave me the impetus to get out there this weekend and live it up to the max! Which is what I did. And consequently, it was a very memorable weekend.

FRIDAY:

My weekend began after school on Friday, when after racing home from school and changing as quickly as I could, I hopped on the subway to Express Bus Terminal in Seocho-Gu to meet up with my friends Helen, Silvia, Jeannie, James and Jeremy for dinner. Everyone was dressed up and looked wonderful. Dinner was great too. We went to this cool restaurant i found called "Stove". It had a great aesthetic with open balconies, hard wood tables and chairs and hight airy ceilings. It also had good food, which made it ideal for a dinner party :) Afterwards, we walked accross the street to this lovely Parisian Inspired cafe -with exposed brick walls and Post Impressionist prints on the wall- for cake and Baileys! YUM! I wish every day was my birthday! Haha! Afterwards we decided that rather than going to a pub we would go to one of the wine stores around the area and buy some good wine to go and drink in the park.

As luck would have it, we found not only good wine, but a good location to sit and drink and joke together. We were especially thankful for the gazebo when it bagn to -without fail- rain!!

Around midnight, we decided to move the party to Itaewon, so that Helen could meet up with her friend. It was not as buisy as usual because the rain was pouring down, but we still managed to have a good time first over some pints at Gekos, then dancing with all the queens at Queen!! Gay clubs in Seoul are a lot smaller than in Montreal, but it makes sense since Korea is extremely homophobic and Montreal has one of the biggest gay communities in the entire world. But it was still a good honest time. By that time, people were pooping out, so we ended up heading to a Jimjilbang to crash for the night.

SATURDAY:

James took off early the next morning, so after scrubbing and soaking for a while, Jeremy and I decided to head somewhere for brunch. On the way, we ran into a whole bunch (and i mean a bunch) of his friends from Incheon who had come into town for the Korea vs. Greece soccer game later that evening. We ended up joining them at the Wolfhound Pub, and for a while it was me with Jeremy, his friends Nilan, Jeff, Katie, Cat and Tyler and a whole rugby team. Yup. Good times. We spent most of the afternoon hanging out, drinking beer and psyching ourselves up for the game. I decded that it would not be the best decision of my life to go to this game in the rain in a sun dress and heels, so I ran out to buy myself a new (situation appropriate) outfit! lol! I actually found exactly what i was looking for including the elusive Roman sandals I have been searching for for months! yeehoo!

The game was being broadcast live on giant screens at City Hall, and so towards City Hall we went, leaving our bags in lockers at the subway and bringing only our umbrellas and excitement. Now i will not say that being jam packed in a rowdie, pushy Korean crowd, having rain pouring down and not being able to sit down for 4 hours was my idea exactly of a goooood time. However, the chanting, the energy, the excitement and the cultural relevance of the game itself was undeniable and really worth all of the other pains. The Korean cheer is "Dae Han Min Guk!... clap!, clap!clap!clap!" and that along with several other cheers was put to various melodies including "Ode to Joy" by Beethoven. The fact that Korea won 2-0 in regulation time was amzing and sent the crowd into a frenzie which culminated in fire works and ska dancing. afterwards, the group decided to head back to Itaewon to try and catch the next games that would be broadcast later that night... in particular the USA vs England match.

So back off to Itaewon we went, passing the wreckage and waste of the evenings events along the way... I felt rather concerned for the absolute amount of waste that was produced by 1 freeking soccer game! But what was I supposed to do? Run after people telling them they should keep their W1,000 street purchased rain coats for the next rainy day? Or that perfectly good umbrellas should be collected and donated to charity or given away for free rather than stuffed into the trash? It things like these that make me really frustrated at the mentality of mass consumption and WASTEEEEE!!!! in this country.

But I digress, to Itaewon we went and there we ran around trying to find a good bar at which to watch the match, finally settling on Roofers. Roofers was a great choice as we could actually go and sit ON THE ROOF!!! Jeremy and I were sneeky and finished our own bottle of wine rather than drinking more bad Korean beer... Teehee! Deviousness tastes delicious! Especially after 11PM. Unfortunately the night was cut short when it began to rain -again! A coupple of us decided to call it a night and went to crash again at that same Jimjilbang. It's funny because when you hang out with other people who are in a similar living situation as you (aka: freeeeking far away from downtown!!) it's a lot less stressful. Because you know that everyone is going to be in the same boat as you; looking for some place to sleep that night. We were there early by late night standards and were able to get a good spot and sleep throughout the night -mostly- (I swear to GOD one of these days I am going to get up and punch the people who let their cell phones ring and their alarms go on and on and on making it impossible to sleep!!!!!!!! GRRRRR!

SUNDAY:

I have to say that Jimjilbangs are possibly one of my favorite things about Korean culture. And for anyone who has done the subway challenge arriving back home around 8AM destroyed for the next day, the former is certainly the better alternative. It is also the best way to aleviate a hangover the next day after a late night out. There can be no better way to refresh yourself than purchasing bath stuffs and soaking in various baths, showering, scrubbing, popping into the sauna and finishing the whole shabang off with a coupple quick laps in their cool water pools. Then after moisturising, blow-drying, and putting on your clothes which have been hanging in your locker, you're ready to hit the town again almost as if you had gone home the night before. I say almost, as you'll never get as good of a sleep as if you were at home or in a hotel, but the pay off is that you emerge once again in the middle of things rather than far away at your place.

And so, we emerged once again in Itaewon, a slight deja vu of the day before, especially as we opted to go back to the Wolfhound for breakfast/ lunch. Cat and I bought girlie drinks full of fruit and breakfast was delish. I have to say that breakfast might just be the best meal of the day at any time of day. It would be akward to have say steak and pasta for breakfast but an omlette for dinner is alway good. We ened up meeting a coupple new people there including a pretty enthusiastic irish guy named martin, who joined our group and proceeded to convince us to stay for pints and cards. it was actually really fun, and I spent most of the afternoon discussing books, movie and learning how to play some card games. Before heading back home, Jeremy and I headed to "What the Book". I'm glad to not have spent too much time in there because I think I could probably spend a small fortune of books! There is something about books that makes me smile, no matter what. Comfortable, friendly, interesting, rewarding books. So lovely. Books book book, how I love thee. I kept my purchase to a minimum and walked to the subway feeling like i had had a truely rewarding weekend.

The ride home was not as long as usual. I had a lot to think about and a lot of memories to process and review. I walked home from the nearest subway and stopped to watch little kids playing in the waterfountains near my house. I felt at that point as if Korea and I had somehow come to a compromise in our new found friendship. It brought us to a place that although possibly not the most convenient and prone to miscommunications and frustrating mishaps, we may have found a middle ground that will keep both of us relatively happy for the remainder of the time we spend together. And that, n'est-ce-pas, is the most important thing.

Busan for buddhas' Birthday weekend.

2010-06-01T05:12:00.000-07:00

And so it was that my friends Helen, Erin and I got on the bus bound for Busan on Friday, May 19, with little plans of what we might do once we got there. However a vague idea of relaxing, drinking and going to the beach may have been the main arangements in favor.

We all needed a break. A break from Seoul and a break from our lives in the city. And Busan being not only on the other side of the country but also conveniently located by the Ocean seemed like a good place to go.

Skip ahead 7 hours and we were seriously questionning our decision to take the scenic route. However, we did finally get there and once there the good times began and didn't stop all weekend. Yee whoo! Now that I know that Korea does in fact look the same from tip to toe, I won`t feel guilty about taking the high speed train and sleeping next time.

We found our way straight out of the gates to the tourist beach destination of choice Haeundae. By the time we got there it was just about time to put on our dancing shoes. And so, we did. haha. In a manner of speaking. We ened up at a cool little expat bar called U2 (like the band). It was a good place to be if your intentions were to meet lots of foreign teachers and get drunk. Excellent! I ended up bumping into a coupple people I knew from Seoul before the end of the evening which I found extremely hilarious.... yet strangely anticipated. After some brief confusion about where we would be staying, we ended up finding a small jimjilbang at which to crash for the evening. It was NOT the Ritz, but then again, it was also only W8,000 for the night, so I was not expecting luxery.

The next morning we bathed and sauna(ed?) for a while before heading to the beach strip for brunch. And then there was brunch....... 3 hours later, slightly vexed at waiting times, but still pleasantly full, we headed to the beach! YAY! Just being around water is soooooooooooo comforting and amazing for me. I really can't describe to calming and life flowing effect it has on me. It was the smell of the water, the sound of the waves and the feel of the coarse sand beneath my feet that made the whole trip worth while. I am seriously contemplating going back to Busan this summer as much as possible. It was really great. And to bea ble to swim in said water and lie on said beach NOT under an umbrella would be eeeeven better! lol! Of course it would rain. It didn't stop raining actually. From the time we got there until the time we left, but somehow it didn't dampen our spirits! Wan wan wan....

after the beach came the main event of the day. The SPA!!!! The biggest spa in Asia apparently. and all for the very reasonable price of W8,000 for a 12 hour entry plus additional purchases inside!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOW! Almost worth moving to Busan for... almost.

I have to say that it seems to me as if a whole lot of our time in that city was spent in the buff. and to be honest, I'm glad that i went with two such awsome laid back chichies, because I certainly got to know them a whole lot better throughout the weekend! :) haha!

After dolling ourselves up we went out for some drinks on the town and then rented a motel room for the evening. It was very comfortable again for the price, and in the morning I left my lovely ladies sleeping while I got up and set out for Beomeosa Temple to the North of the city. One of the rasons I really wanted to come to Busan for Buddha's birthday weekend was so i could visite Beomeosa. It is special to me because it is where Samu Sunim did his training before coming to Canada. I decided to be safe and take a taxi from the station (which ended up being a very good decision) It rained and rained and rained alllll morning. But in the end that only made the xperience more magical. For one, there were almost no people there except real devotees. secondly, the rain made all of the colours, the sounds and the smells of the mountain and forest come alive. Lastly, there was a myst about the place which made it feel ancient, timeless and absolutely out of this world beautiful. It was so scerene that in the end I was sad to leave and wish i could have stayed for a while longer to really begin to calm down and relax. I know that I will never forget m,y time there. It was really meaningful to me.

The bus ride back to the city was no less eventful in that we found out before getting on the bus that we had been sold bad tickets!!!!!!!! This meant that we had to in fact get off the bus and go and beg the slaes lady to give us tickets on another bus bound for Seoul. Thanks to the generocity and english language skills of a lovely stranger, that was a possibility and we were seoul bound before two hours had gone by. In the end, it was a memorable experience and a good weekend. Erin, Helen and I managed to remain friends without any drama all the way through and i feel really happy to have been able to share such a lovely experience with such lovely ladies. may there be more good weekends to come.

What a wickedly wonderful weekend!

2010-05-17T05:28:00.000-07:00

The Lotus Lantern Festival with my new friend Jeremy. My friend from University; Zac, suggested that I add his friend from Kingston, who is also working just outside of Seoul in Incheon. It was great to meet someone from home and the coincidences just kept multiplying from there.

The 2nd annual childrens' charity art auction at Roofers Bar and Grill in Itaewon. It was a really interesting event. Although I don't think that my painting sold very well because they left it to one of the last lots and by that point everyone in the room had already bought at least 1 piece if not several.... Still a really great atmosphere and a rewarding cause.

I bought my family and myself a lantern to hang amongst the thousands of others at Bongeunsa Temple near Samseong stn. I also paid a visit to the special lantern exhibition they have on display "Hope Plane".

There were traditional folk dancers in all of their costumed glory rehersing for the big lantern festival on Sunday. They were so friendly. I spoke with a coupple who were keen to practice their English.

The stone Buddha is the most famous monument at Bongeunsa temple. It is maaaaasive! It is surrounded by high walls and gardens. In front is a large praer space where devotees can come and do their bow out of doors.

Of course there were ceilings of lanterns EVERYWHERE!!!! It is such a magical feeling and sight to walk beneath these temporary rooves of flowers. I also bathed the Baby Buddha. I remember when I was little this was one of my favorite things to do during the childrens services. It was a nice little jog down memorry lane.

What a wonderful weekend. This is the kind of weekend that i have been looking forward to and searching for, for quite a while. Last week was the World DJ Festival. And while that was a very good party, I feel as though this was a great weekend on so many levels. I really needed this boost.

This past week has been an emotional rollercoaster. Things at work have not been amazing. My co-teacher is acting like an immature spoilt brat, and while that might be acceptable for a lot of 22 year old Korean men, I do not wholly appreaciate it when it affect my life personally. I am really hoping that we can find some way to work together and to communicate more openly together because otherwise this is going to be a very long and stressful 3 months coming up.

I have also been having some health concerns. I found a lump in my left breast and trying to explain this to the school nurse in order to have her help me make an apointment with a specialist at the hospital was one of the most stressful and unamusing things I have had to do in a while. However, in the end we got there and the apointment was set.

On Saturday I left my house bring and early with the probable intension of not returning until the next day. I have become very very good at packing an essential purse full of goods that can take me comfortably from one day to the next when i go out on the weekends. The things we do in the name of socializing...

I met the school nurse (who had generously offered to accompany me as a translator) at the subway near the hospital. And thank goodness too, because there were no translators at the hospital that day. The doctor I saw was not a specialist. And although he thought that it was just a cyst due to stess and screwed up hormones, it was still a very stressful event. They made a bunch of other tests for later on this week and then sent me on my way. I am feeling extremely nervous about the whole thing, but I think that I would have had more pronounced or violent symptoms if it were really something very serious like a tumor. So I just have to keep my spirits up and hope for the best.

When I came out of the hospital I was right at COEX, and never having been to the giant shopping plaza before, I thought it was about time to do so. IT IS HUGGGGE! And increadibly overwhelming to be engulfed in so many shops and restaurants and galleries. I don't quite know why Koreans are so fond of the gigantic shopping complexes? I find them incredibly unsettling and confusing, but none the less I made a valliant effort of walking around and checking out all of the stores... (well some of the stores) I eventually gave up and went outside to read my book in one of the gardens around the centre. Much nicer. :) After checking out a map I discovered that i was very close to Bongeunsa temple. I have been meaning to make my way there for ages since it is probably the closest templestay program to where i live.

I was certainly not dissappointed when I got there. In preparation for Buddhas birthday next week, there were lanters absolutely EVERYWHERE!!! It was so colourful and beautiful. After such a nerva racking morning, i instantly felt calmer walking around the quiet and sunny grounds. I decided to purchase myself a lantern. I feel like I could use some help with my luck right now and I have always wanted to make a wish lantern. So I paid the W30,000 and i got to write all of my famillies names and birthdays on the card as well as my wishes for this new year. It was really nice to think that my wishes would be hanging alongside thousands of other lanterns during the birthday celebrations. My camera decided to die on me... great. But I have figured out that if I just look though the viewfinder instead of the screen, I can usually take one picture about every 5 minutes. lol! I was very taken with how peaceful the temple grounds were considering it is smack dab in the middle of the city!!! I will definiteloy be going back there another day. There was a lot more to explore than i had time to on Saturday.

I then headed to the Lotus Lantern street festival in Insa-dong. I ended up meeting up with a new friend, Jeremy, to go off and explore. It was, like many Korean events, slightly random and unorganized, but ultimately visually spectacular and very welcoming. I cursed my dead camera once again, because there were some truely spectacular images waiting to be snapped. Oh well, i shall have to remember them in my minds eye. Afterwards, we went for dinner and spent some time getting to know each other a little better. We ended up eating out way through a LARGE potato pizza AND a salade bar... I have no idea how.. lol, before heading over to Hongdae for this really cool concert.

The concept of the concert was; round robin, where 4 bands set up all of their gear at the same time, and then take turns each playing a song or two and playing in a continuous circle for the entire evening. It was really very cool. The club was the Free Bird, and I think I would definitely go back there for another show. It was full of this very hipster crowd of people. I felt like I was back in art school in Montreal. It was great!!!!! The music was great too, and we had a good time rocking out with the thrash punk and hard rock bands that were playing. We ended up being some of the firsts to arrive as well as some of the lasts to leave the show. I would call that a night well spent. But then we were on the hunt for a Jimjil bang where we would be able to crash for the rest of the evening. A hard feat when neither Jeremy nor I had any idea where we might find one. But in the end, with the help of some Korean, we found our way and I experienced my very first night in a Jimjil bang. SOOOOOOOOOO ODDDDDD!!!! OMG!

There were hundreds of Koreans and foreigners all in their uniforms (baggy shorts and Ts) sprawled on mats across the heated floors sleeping, talking, waltching TV, eating, talking on their phones... wow! What a visual! We each found a mat and went to bed for the night. I can't say that I slept remarkably well, but it was definitely better than staying out until the trains started and making my way back across town. The next morning i wasn't too sure whether i should try to find Jeremy, but I decided that I would just call later on. I had a great shower and soak and then got ready and left for Itaewon.

I got there early enough before the beginning of the auction to go for a coffee and read my book for a while. NICEUH! When I got to Roofers, i could tell that things would not be getting started quite on time, so I took the chace to talk to some of the organizers of the event. I went out for a quick lunch with one of the main executives for the Seoul Artists Collective -Zach Echelberger. I told him that i was very interested in joining the collective and that i could help with any events he needed my help with in the future. He seems like a really nice guy too. I could tell that this was more of the crowd that i was used to hanging out with in Montreal. a bit older, all fairly career oriented and best of all, mostly all university teachers. COOL! Definitely a crowd I would like to hang out with more often. The art auction itself was fun, although I ammm a bit peeved that they left my piece sooooooo long. It did not sell very well. Darn! But when you donate things, they are out of your hands. i ended up buying a small painting by Rita Crocker (the portrait artist that I really admired from the Creatures of Habit Exhibition. In terms of artists to collect, i think that she is extremely tallented and that her work will get more recognition in the future. I would not be surprised if she did really well in the contemporary scene in the next coupple years. Cool!

Afterwards, i headed back to Insa-dong to meet up with folks for the Lotus Lantern Parade. I was supposed to meet up with Silvia and Jeannie, but I couldn't get ahold of them, so when I got a text from Jeremy asking me to join his party, i jumped on that. When I got there I found out that the coincidences about to insue were hillllarious and absolutely random. So it turns out that Jeremy is friends with Jackies' boyfriend Kyle. And so, when I arrived there was Jeremy, but also, Jackie, Kyle, Steph, Tina, and a coupple of other people I didn't know. How funny is that? What is even funnier is that Jeremy and I had run into Steph and Tina the night before as well. We then proceeded to go to Mr. Pizza (AGAIN!! LOL!) for dinner. Oh, how funny. But the best part of the evening was the lantern festival.. Who would have ever thought you could do so much with a wire frame and paper??? Incredible. My favorite were the anamatronic 30 foot long fire breathing dragons!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeehaw.

By all acounts a vvvvveeeeerrrrryyyyy good weekend! I jam super de duper packed weekend, but who said that was a bad thing? So more news later, but hopefully things keep looking up for me and I can start to live my life in a more positive way here.

Singing to myself

2010-05-11T05:47:00.000-07:00

I want to dream and then I want to wake up
I want to break, but i don't want to break up
I want a song
I dont want to have to sing it.
I want your love right now.
Could you bring it? Could you bring it?
I got under your rolling thunder.
You're the lightning, the right thing,
You've got my number.
The weather's wicked this time of year.
Staring out the window watching your tears,
Rolling down the face of the earth.
Tears roll down the face of the earth.
Tears roll down the face of the earth.
I saw it with my own two blue eyes.
Two blue eyes.
Two blue eyes.
True love is always complicated.
Free and easy is overrated.
My classic beauty, the West coast mystry,
The rest is history.
Oh, are you hiding?
Or, oh, are you seeking?
All I really want to know is what your ruby lips are speaking?
I got under your rolling thunder.
You're the lightning, the right thing,
You got my number.
The weather's wicked this time of year.
Staring out the window,
Watching your tears.
Roll down the face of the earth,
Tears roll down the face of the earth,
Tears roll down the face of the earth...
I saw them with my own two blue eyes.
Tears roll down the face of the earth,
Tears roll down the face of the earth...
Who do you take love?
Who do you leave love?
How come happiness is something you can not conceive of?

-The Joel Plasket Emergency "Face of the earth"

May may just be a fresh start towards a better me.

2010-05-07T19:47:00.000-07:00

On Childrens' Day, May 5, 2010, i attended a peaceful protest outside of the Japanese embassy with my friends helen and Kate in support of "The Korean Council for the women drafted for military sexual slavery by Japan". for more information on this extremely sad and worthy issue visite http://www.womenandwar.net

This group meets infront of the Japanes embassy every Wednesday at 12noon to demand restitution for the war crimes commited against Korean women during WWII.

You can sign a petition in suport of the demands to the Japanese government. This was the most peaceful, spriritual and touching protest I have ever participated in. There were children singing and dancing for the "Halmonis" the surviving victimes known as "the comfort women".

This has been a very pivotal week for me in Korea. It has been a week where I have had to completely re-adjust my mindframe, re-asses my values and my reasons for being here and also remind myself about my long term goals both personally and professionally.

After the drama of last week, I felt that it was really important this week to evaluate the issues that were brought against me and to take them into consideration head on.

I neither feel happy nor proud of the fight that I had with Sarah last weekend -who likes to fight?- but I think it was obviously something that had been building up for along time that needed to come out. I flatly refuse to be treated like shit by anyone, and I should have put an end to this a long time ago. While I am not pleased about the way in which things came out, I am in fact relieved to be out of such a degrading and poisonous environment. I feel that this break will give me a chace to re-direct my life here in Korea for the better. Sometimes it takes a hard slap in the face to wake up and realise that you need to make changes in your life if you want to remain on the track that you set out for yourself. Life is full or re-callibrations. This would be one of those moments when my life is in need of re-callibration and fine tuning.

So this week I worked on three things. :

1) Trying to get in touch with other friends in Seoul and working on strengthening those relationships. And acknowledge that my passive behavior was partially responsible.

2) Begining to motivate myself to get back into my former wonderful physical and mental shape.

3) Begin to re-evaluate my reasons for being here and focus on my short and long term goals.

Firstly, I know that I am a social person. I like meeting new people and hanging out in a variety of different groups of people. I always have. I have many sides to my personality and so I find that I like having many different kinds of people as friends, so that I can enjoy and explore those many different colours of my pesonality with like minded people. Since being here, I have made a lot of aquaintances, but I have not put in the necessary work to foster many of those relationships, and thus, have ended up dependent on just a few key relationships. So this week I have been phonning people and trying to get out and make new aquaintances. And I feel that I am on the right track. This experience has brought me closer to a coupple girls in particular who shared the experience last week with me; Helen and Kate. I also met a coupple of their friends; Erin and Lauren, who I quite like and have exchanged numbers with. I also decided to go ahead with my intention of attending the "World DJ Festival" and went on line and put out a call for people going to the festival. Consequently, I am going to the festival this evening with a group of 10 or so other public school teachers that I met once or twice earlier this year. I am hoping to make some more connexions through that and also to just have fun meeting new people. I have proven to myself that I am capable of making new friends ANY DAY, if I approach it with the right attitude. I have to fight my passive behavior and actively search out and try to meet new people. Listening, showing interest in other peoples lives and being open goes a long way.

Secondly, I have to acknowledge and begin to take steps toward getting back into shape because it is causing me a lot of unhappiness and frustration in my life right now. I know what to do. I have been an athlete most of my life and I have been successful with weight loss in the past. I just got lazy. I just got lazy and began to tell myself that I didn't mind the extra pounds, that maybe it was just who I was and that if people liked me, that my weight wouldnt matter. But the fact of the matter is that I have been progresively allowing myself to become more and more unhealthy and unhappy in my own body. This unhealthy body has been the gateway towards an unhealthy mind (creating a circle of negative thinking that has caused me a lot of suffering this year). And after having been in such fabulous shape a the past coupple of years i know what the difference is and how bad i actually feel right now. So I bought a gym membership on Monday and I worked out 3 times this week. It was pitiful in comparison with the weight i was lifting the pace and distance I was running before, but you have to start somewhere and the most important part is TO START!!!!!! Now that I am on the pathway, I don't think that I will fall off of it. I want to feel strong and comfortable in my body again. I want to wear dresses and shorts and have a slim waist. I want to have people comliment me on my looks and tell me that I am strong and healthy. I don't want people to stare at me in disrespectful ways. Especially being in korea where the women are ALLLL tiny and so concerned with their appearnces, it is extremely difficult to find clothing that fits me and not feel like a ginormous blimp!!!!!!! This is something that I have been putting off and pushing away for a while now, and it has got to change. And it will change.

Thirdly, I feel as though I have lost track of my reasons for being here. Why did I come here? What do I want to acomplish? Where do I see myself in 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 years? What are my professional goals concerning my teaching and my art practice? I came here to pay back debt, but I have not been managing my money very well recently, and it is time to become more responsible on that front if I ever want to get out of debt. What can I do to enjoy my experience here more? What do I want to do with the time remaining on my contract? What do I want to see? Where do i want to go? What can I do to be a better teacher, co-worker and expat representing Canadian culture? How can I be a more active, generous, productive and happy person? I don't know the answers to all of these questions, but I think it is important to start asking them and to begin chipping away at them slowly but surely. I AM my own person, and I am getting to an age where I can no longer reasonably expect to be assited in my day to day life and troubles. These are problems for which I know the solutions but have not been willing and able to motivate myself to do the hard work necessary to get the job done. Perhaps, I do have, like my mom has pointed out, a "LOW " personality. Something against which I am constantly fighting in order to move forward and not to stagnate and become low and depressive in my life.

It is hard to fight the negative aspects of ones personality, but it is something that I have done successfully in the past and something that I think I am able to do now again. I also have things to look forward to this month. TODAY, I am going to the "World DJ Festival" I am sooooooo excited to see so much live delicious music and to be out in a large croud experiencing Korean Indie and youth culture. Next week is the "Lotus Lantern Festival". I have plans to attend each day with Silvia, Jeannie and others. I also have the "Fundraising Art Auction" at Roofers next week in which I have 1 painting on the block and i am hoping to make some new and important art contacts. I have to get a CV and some cards made this week in preparation of that. The week after that is Buddhas' bithday and a long weekend. I was origianlly intending to go to one of the three jewel temples near Pusan, but I have recently concocted a plan with Helen to go to TAIWAN for the weekend and you know, I think i am going to go for it. JUST FREEKING GO FOR IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Spring Cleaning

2010-04-26T05:30:00.000-07:00

The cherry blossoms by night are quite as beautiful as by day

Seoul is in full bloom and after such a crappy winter it's really uplifting.

The magnolia flower is something I've never seen in real life before ... just stunning!

This is one of the national flowers of Korea. It blooms in bunches along the sidewalks in many different shades of pink, purple, white and red. Love it!

More cherry blossoms! They're everywhere! They're everywhere!:)

The young'uns of the English Department Staff ... note I was the only one to make it to the top of the mountain. lol!

Brunch at the "Flying Pan" in Itaewon ... an almost real North American brunch:)

Andrews' inspired poetry party. It's always good to have equally nerdy friends.

Desert and coffee with Kami in Hongdae. this place was so sweet with its' 40,000 W coffee filters

The lovely Kami, enjoying a kiwi smoothie. Wish that girl lived in Korea! KAMI, I'm coming to Hong Kong before I go back to Canada!

Maybe it's the change in the weather? maybe it's a change in attitude? Maybe it's more possibilities presenting themselves to me, or rather that I am actually making bigger plans? What ever it is, Spring is here and it feels good.

In the tradition of Spring cleaning, this is the perfect time of year to really shake things up and make an effort to make positive changes in your life. I don't know why everyone thinks to make New Years resolutions? January is a very difficult month and no one feels inspired burried under a mountain of snow, dark weather and consumer debt. However, Spring is a good time to lighten up and cheer up, because that is what is reflected in the natural environment around you.

Now I realise that Seoul has its issues, but one thing that can be said is that they have made some great efforts to beautify this city with an abundance of flowers in every colour and description planted along every street. It has been so refreshing to see everything coming into bloom. very different from Canadian Spring, which is generally less colourful outside of private backyard spaces.

I feel as though now is a good time to make an effort to put the past behind me and to look towards a positive rest of my contract here and new more fulfilling experiences. I heard these lyrics in a song and they kind of sent a jolt through me:

"If I don't do this while I'm young, I'm sure it wont get done."

That got me thinking about the fact that I am no Spring chicken myself. My 26th birthday is in a month and a half and I feel as though I still have not done very much self exploration and adventure seeking. Now I can safely say that is because above all I am an extremely cautious person who does not like to take risks, but also because I have been trying to do the responsible thing by first hammering through all of my degrees on a tight budget and now trying to live on an even tighter budget while working here to make some headway into repaying my student loans.

But I am young, and youth is fleeting, and although it is very hard for me to do... verrrry hard, I am going to try to cut loose a bit more and take more advantage of being in South East Asia and having more adventures, even if it takes me another coupple years to get out of debt. If I keep telling myself that I will play after, then I will effectively have been spending all of my 20s working without playing, and well that's kind of backwards isn't it?... That's something to think about now isn't it?

So I ave been making more effort to be more involved with all things Korean and really think about what I want to do with my time here. I have been getting out with friends a bit more and also trying to be well informed about cool festivals and shows going on in the city. The trick for me is to make things happen, rather than just theorizing about them. That includes everything in my life from exercising, cooking and cleaning, to school and socializing. Too many theories, not enough action. But really, I gotta give myself a break here. It's not exactly like I've been sitting on my ass since I got here. But maybe not running around quite enough either... It's positively exhausting to have such high standards for yourself. Time to get the jogging shoes on and leave the winter coat in the closet I think.

After the show

2010-04-11T05:02:00.001-07:00

The Vernissage by all accounts was a big success. Many people attended and some work was sold and most importantly of all, it all went down without a hitch. I had invited many people, but what with it being on a Wednesday evening, the turnout was not as spectacular as would have hoped it might be. I can't say I felt like the most popular person in the world, although I did get a lot of well wishes from people that couldn't be there. My friends Silvia and Andrew came to show their support and I'm glad not to have had to socialize with strangers all evening. I think after having been out of the art circuit for a while, I have lost a lot of my schmoozing abilities. I think I should make it a point to get out there and schmooze at art openings more often.... it's good practice, and you never know, I just might meet someone of interest.

There was performance art going on throughout the evening and I did make a coupple new aquaintances. The biggest compliment of the evening was being approached by someone who was interested in purchasing one of my paintings. It did not end up coming to fruition, but the interest was really confidence boosting none the less. The show is on until the 17th of the month, so there is still time and a chance that someone will want to purchase my paintings, but if not, at least I have had work on display in the "Jay Gallery" www.jaypia.com

My friend Sarah (a fellow artist whose critical opinion I trust) said that she thought my works really stood out in the show. She thought they were very professionally presented and frsh and original in their technique. I take that as a big compliment, because she went to a big art school in Liverpool and has a pretty good knowledge about the contemporary art scene.

I have decided to start just doing small abstract paintings. I have to get practicing with just having fun and going for it and size and time art two big dissuasions to sitting down and working for me. So the solution is small works with no real definitive theme in mind.

The expat web base magazing "Groove Korea" wrote a pretty good review about the show. Check it out at the following link: www.seoulstyle.com/culture.php?aid=0000000092

Spring is coming to Seoul, and that has really motivated me to try and get my life on track. I would say that my batteries are about 60% recharged after arriving here pretty much on empty. I am looking forward to exploring Seoul and the rest of South Korea this Spring and Summer with a newly restored interest in the Country and the culture. I want to start doing weekend trips to different temple all over the country (starting with the douzain or so in and near Seoul) I also want to see all of the tourist attractions that I haven't been to see yet as well as the museums and cultural centers that come highly recommended. I have to embrace and push a positive, optimistic, proactive attitude towards the rest of my time here in my life in and outside of work. I also have to start taking my health seriously because it's getting out of hand. How is it even possible that one can get sooooooooooooooooooooo out of shape in 1 year!!!???? New mission, kick my butt back into shape! Here's hoping that i can do it and keep smiling :)

The paintings are done, now comes the set up

2010-04-05T04:36:00.001-07:00

Learning How to Chant, Acrylic on Canvas, 45 X 52cm, 2010

Learning How to Meditate, Acrylic on Canvas, 45 X 52cm, 2010

So I may not have the most fabulous and exciting life exactly, but I do feel as though I am putting this year to good use in a professional sense. I hoped, but I never imagined that I would have landed 2 gallery shows and one festival exhibition by 2/3 of the way through my year here. I feel really proud and happy that I am proving myself as a professional artist right now. Of course, this is still a group exhibition and I am not doing nearly enough work or getting enough exposure to really call myself a professional, but the point is that I AM working and I AM getting into exhibitions. Period. And more important or most important is that I am getting international exhibitions on my artist CV. This is the kind of experience I need to set me apart in the job market back in Canada and also to boost my confidence as an artist and a scholar.

I have to admit that I have been having some doubts of myself as an artist lately. I am really not prolific in any sense of the world. Is it a question of habit ?( I am not in the habit of making art for myself, or not for school or some greater purpose). Or is it a question of it just not being my passion and something I want to really work at? These last paintings that I've done have met with a lot of positive feedback from my friends and family but also from school mates who have voiced that they think this is a step forward for me... but they certainly didn't come easily. I guess it's not the style of paiting that I identify myself with. But if we're not challenging ourselves with difficult work are we able to grow as artists? Have I been playing it safe for the past years and just doing something that comes easily to me rather than pushing myself to grow as a painter and an artist? These are difficult questions, but I guess now is the time to answer them. Maybe it's time to go nutz and do everything I was not doing technically before to switch things up and force myself to find another direction with my artwork.

Tomorrow I am going to Jay Gallery to set up my work after school. I have really pulled everthing together and this is the last thing that i have to do before the work is finished. I spent all day Saturday searching for the perfect Buddhist prayer beads and mok-tok (chanting instrument) in Insadong. I went to the Jay Gallery first to reserve some materials for the show and pick up the exhibition catalogues. then I asked Jay were I could find white gloves and he dicided to help me by taking me to the shop himself... helpful man! He then showed me this fabulous street that runs parallel to the main tourist/ Gallery street in Insa-dong except that this street is full of Budhist shops! It is also home to Jogyesa Temple (the base of Korean Zen Buddhism... kind of like their White house. lol!) At the end of the day i left with my beads, my mok-tok, a new insense burner, a book on Korean Zen temple history, white gloves, the show catalogues and a sense of having accomplished a LOT.
Sunday I spent the entire day finishing my paintings (between sleeping in and several extended breaks.) And now, I have just finished varnishing, painting my edges and getting everything ready and packed up to take to the Gallery tomorrow after work. yee haw!

On an unrelated note, I have been having many words with my school about their utter incompetence with the whole apartment situation. To be honest, it would be nice to move, but I'm not sure how much longer I can live with the constant unbalancing instability of never knowing when or if you are going to be moving.... It has really thrown me for a loop the past coupple of months and not in a good way. I finally demanded a conference with my school and was like look, I don't think this is going to happen. So in the best interest of everyone involved, let's just freeking throw in the towel, call it a day and you can hire me professional mold cleaners instead. I can't say I'm thrilled, but at least the warmer weather is coming and I can always stay out walking around at night or crash at peoples houses a bit easier.... eugh! I have to start working harder to be social or I am going to be without parties and peoples this summer. For now though, I am feeling somewhat optimistic..... maybe it's the varnish fumes?... haha

New Work and New Impressions

2010-03-23T03:55:00.000-07:00

unfinished work for my upcoming group exhibition "Creatures of Habit"

This piece is also unfinished, but I really like where it is going.

This is my concept sketch for my painting "Little girl praying"

This is the concept sketch for "Little Girl Dancing"

The image I submitted for the booklet of the "Creatures of Habit"exhbition

I have been working for the past month or so on developing a new body of work for my second exhibition with the International Artists Collective. The group exhibition has the theme "Creatures of Habit". When I submited my proposal for the exhibition I had just finished my intensive retreat at the temple. I was really struck by the routine and the habits of the temple lifestyle. Then I began thinking about how all habits are really just a product of our education and the routines that we develop throughout our lifestyles.

We have certain habits because of the way that we have been raised and the things that we have been taught are right, wrong, good, bad, productive, unproductive...etc. I began thinking about the habits that the monks live in their every day lives. These are learned routines perpetuated by habit formation over time. But what struck me was not so much the habit itself, but the memories and associations in my own life that these habits evoked.

Spending all that time chanting and meditating was really interesting, but what was unexpected was that every time we would meditate I would have this image of my sister in my head. Perhaps a memory, maybe an invention or a collection of memories jumbled together over time. But of her sitting there with her eyes closed and trying to meditate sooooooo ard and concentrate on the task she was put to so devoutly. The present lived experience of meditating, triggered memories of previous meditating experiences, but just like riding a bike, physical habits that we form at a young age have a way of coming ack to us very easily. Similariy, every time that I would chant with the monks during the service I would have a memory of myself and other children dancing around to the sound of the mok-tok (the wooden percussion instrument that the monks hit to keep the rhythm of the chant).

And so my project really became about memory association to a certain habit or object. And how habit formation is a question of education and life experience. The piece has been developing as I go along. I originally wanted to do 4 paintings, then I wanted to do the 2 portraits of the little girls with a drawing of the habit; chanting, meditating, hung above them. But as the paintings have progressed, I have been feeling as though I want to engage the viewer more in a disussion about object/habit/ memory association. So I have decided to bring the actual objects into the equation instead of drawings. In front of the portrait of the girl dancing will be a mok-tok and infront of the girl praying will be Buddhist prayer beads. I want to get a plynth, but I don't know if the Jay Gallery will have 2 to spare..... we shall see.

I feel good about this work. I hope that I will be able to keep pushing myself forward as an artist. I have been feeling rather down about my work lately. Some times I get really dissmayed that I am supposed to be good at art, but most of the time, I feel like I'm not great at that and then I ask... well what the heck am I good at then? What is lacking is not the technical, but the conceptual skill or the risk factor so to speak. My work is safe. I know it is. But I don';t know if I have anything other to give. Some people like me, get really attached to their work and also take it personally when people like or don't like it. It makes taking risks that much more difficult. When something is so personal to you it is difficult to distance yourself from it and become a partial observer who can criticize it in a impartial manner. It's very difficult not to become overly precious with the work.

I have alternately been working on another series. I am trying to work on my photography, not strictly for resources for my otehr work, but as photographs in and of themselves. I want to start a collection of street art I find abound Seoul. I like collecting and documenting things. Some of my strongest work has been documentation and appropriated pieces. I think it's really interesting. So I'm keeping me eyes open and I have a piece in mind... but it will require a LOT of photographs of other random people's artowrk and a whole lot of tiny frames and nails.......... lots of time to develop that one.

For now, I have 2 weeks before the opening (ergo a week to really finish the pieces and get them show ready). That will hopefully launch me into further projects and colaborations with the international artists collective..... but I have been thinking that I may just try and get some work into a restaurant or cafe with Sarah, because I don't really need more than 2 shows in the same venues..... and Richard is a bit controling I find. I feel as though it is his project and we are allll just tagging along for the ride. I intend to tag just long enough to add the Jay Gallery to my CV.

With our minds we make the world- The Dammapada

2010-02-24T01:05:00.000-08:00

"The secret of living with frustration and worry is to avoid becoming personally involved in your own life." -The Great Bodhisattva, Ziggy.

To my astonishment, February is almost over, and reading through my past blogs, my attitude towards Korea and my life here is in need of a serious adjustment. There have been a number of things bringing me down and stomping on my positive spirit here over the past coupple of months. But I am trying to fight them and I feel as though i just may be winning the fight a bit.

Taking this quote into consideration, I believe that I suffer from a dramatic over thinking syndrome, where every small thing is analyzed until it becomes so big that it can't be conceiled or put asside. And becoming so involved in your own life is really exausting. Overwhelmingly so. So I decided to try and get away from myself for a while and go back to do another temple stay at Hwagyesa where I would be able to leave my seeminly large problems behind me and concentrate on something else for a while. I realized that I really love that place and all of the people there. this is the last week of the winter retreat, so the environment there was one of anticipation and celebration. It was pretty uplifting. The daily routine of meditation, chanting, walking and eating lightens up even the biggest pescimist in it simplicity and yet absolute intensity. These people live their lives with conviction and no hesitation and that is really motivating to see. I have definitely made a little small place for myself amonst the residents there. The head monk, Po Hwa Sunim is such a lovely man and a real fan of me as much as I am of him I think. i originally went for 2 days but ended up staying for 5 on his his insistance... hahaha.
My time there gave me the space to come to an acceptance about certain unfortunate realities in my life. One really has to accept before one can move on and forward. And there are always solutions to problems.
Not social enough: friggin pick up the phone
Too heavy: eat less and excercise more
Too far away to go out: stay at other peoples' places
Not moving quickly: clean the shit out of my apartment until I do.
Not creative enough: MAKE time every day for art

Life is full of possibilities and oportunities. Not getting wrapped up and strangled in my own thoughts and overthinking about everything will be my greatest challenge and my biggest impediment towards really neing happy. But it is something to work on.

Winter is so long sometimes

2010-02-08T04:26:00.000-08:00

Well, what to say? I can't pretend that things have not been difficult these past coupple of weeks. I could blame the weather, but with much warmer temperatures and much less snow than I've been accustomed to living in Montreal, the weather is not to blame.
Then what? A combination of things stewing to make the most unpleasant soup of sickness, frustration, and dissappointment imaginable. You know when a number of unfortunate things happen all at once and it makes everything feel much larger and more difficult to bear?
Well first, my health is not great. The mould in my apartment combined with a weakened immune system has given me a number of health concerns. And when you don't have your health, you don't have much. Not having my health is even more difficult for me because I was in excellent shape not so long ago. I really don't know where things went wrong?
Secondly, I've been fighting with my school to get permission to move out of this mouldy apartment for my health and closer to downtown so I don't feel so isolated. Once I convinced my school that they should move me, then I found out that I had to wait for my apartment to be let before they could begin looking for a new one. Fine I thought. But here we are weeks later and I find that not even 1 person has applied to the real estate agent to see the apartment. At this rate I will not be moving soon. The system is increadibly unproductive and profits only the real estate agents who sit on their fat asses waiting for the people to do the work while collecting a big pay cheque. It frustrates me soooooooooooooooooooooooo much not to be able to get out there and find someone myself. So much so that I have decided to start posting fliers around my neighbourhood as well as on Craigslist. This is rediculous and I feel as though I'm being made the fool of. Let the foreigner sit there while we tell her we are working on her behalf. I think not. I am henseforth going to do as much as I can on my own to find some one for the apartment. Make posters, post on craigslist, have the school put an add in the local paper.. etc
I have to keep searching for solutions to the problems in my life and not just accept them. And that is how I intend to be happier with the rest of my time in Korea. However long or short that may be.
One way i think will be hrough my art and another through my friends and lastly through trying to find things I like about this country and culture and focus on those things and not the ones that ave been making me so unhappy.

January can be a chilly time of year

2010-01-25T23:12:00.000-08:00

January can be a chilly time of year. Despite my best efforts to kick start 2010 off with a positive "bang", it has unfortunately been anything but positive. I have lived through what some would call an EXTREME Winter every single year of my life in Canada. But for some reson this comparatively mild and easy Winter in Seoul has been slowly reducing me to a state of shell shocked debris.
I have been finding rather than becoming more settled in Korea, the longer that I am here the more UN-settled I seem to be becoming. I have not had the easiest time adjusting to the culture and my particular situation. I have really tried to find the best out of my living situation, my school and also my increasingly poor state of health, but recently I've come to a point where it's just no good. Things have to change or else I feel that my time in Korea may soon be coming to an end. I did a lot of thinking about the positives in my life and I do feel that there are many. I have made several good friends at work and around town. I am making money and paying back my student loans. I have had the opportunity to live in and experience this foreign culture. i find that every month, things are getting easier. I have also had the opportunity to work on my artwork and make some good contacts. I feel that there are many good things that could develop out of my life in Korea, but before this can happen I have some major problems that have to be resolved. The biggest and baddest one of all is my stinking apartment situation. So due to a number of circumstances (mostly bad construction and poor maintenance) my apartment is full of mould. The colder wheather this winter has only increased the growth and it's in the walls and ceilings which are not possibl to scrub. The point is that it has been making me increasingly sicker and sicker. Now I have bronchitus and also other related health problems that are serious enough to be worried about and to make it a serious point of discussion. basically I have to reduce the stress in my life so that I can get healthy. in order to reduce the stress I have to move.
And so, the past weeks have been consumed with the complicated and frustrating business of trying to convince the people that can help me (mainly my school) that i need to move and that they should help me and pay for the expenses. Many letters, emails, phon calls, meetings and Dr.s appointments later it has been concluded that my school WILL help me move. YAY! and yet a resounding NAY. The entire moving process here is extremely complicated. It's doubly complicated because it is the end of the school year and the school has no cash to pull out and make things happen quickly. The school has told me that I must be patient, make the best out of my situation and trust that this matter will be eventually resolved in good time and due course. Do I really have a choice, no not really. And so, now i sit, wait to be called and do my best to scrub the mould off of my ceiling and not get sicker. The only problem is that the situation is as they call it delicate and volatile, so that means it's entirely open to change, fate, luck and cosmic timing to decide when they find someone to take over my apartment and a place that I can move into at the same time within their price range and in my area. OHHH MYYYY GOOOOOOOD!!!!!! So complicated. But there we go. Well at least I have a lot of experience moving. HAHA! This move will be a downright breeze in comparison. I have people helping me, I have movers and I have almost no clothes or furniture or people to notify of a change of address. EASY PEAZY! NO WOORIES! IT'LL BE A BREEZE! That's the way to think. So here's to figuring shit out and beginning to live a happy, healthy and balanced life in Seoul, South Korea.

Down to positive business! Winter camp is done! YAYAYAYAYAY!
I do not have cancer! YAYAYAAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
I have some very awsome friends! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAWWWWW!
I have the opportunity to turn things around here and make things better! YARR!

A week spent meditating on my life in Korea

2010-01-17T22:33:00.000-08:00

A walk around the temple before bed Night lit by the light of lanterns hanging

The lotus reads "life"

The mountains by the light of the early morning

.....very early

Dawn hits the staircase on my way up to my

third meditation session of the day.... hmmmm

When they say monastic living they mean it. Picture

a dark little box with a heated floor and 1 mattress...

but that's ok, because you don't sleep much when

you are a Buddhist monk anyway.

Even Pollish monks can rock out when the occasion calls for it!

luv ya Miaho

The day before the intensive lunar New Years retreat began

I was lucky enough to join the monks as they cut loose for a night

My Korean On-ni!!!!!

Guitars, BBQ, SOJU, salsa dancing...

and you thought temple stays were just about meditation

Getting all purified at an amazing spa in near the DMZ!

Naked outside in -15oc wheather is always interesting.

But when you're naked with nuns... it's even more so.

Skating and sledging on a frozen lake in the DMZ.

Freeeeezing! but hilarious!

Sliding accross the ice on traditional Korean sleds

Drinking tea after a long meditative hike with Po Hwa Sunim, the temples' head monk

Hwagyesa International Zen Center through the woods

Mark this week as a special week in my Korean adventure and maybe the greater adventure of life. Egged on by the lack of anything more worthwile to do with my vacation, I decided that it was high time to make my dreams of a temple stay a reality. A Monday-Sunday intensive week of meditating, hiking, sleeping little and thinking much. What I was not expecting was the level of commraderie and community that I found within the temple walls. Here, everyone is equally valued and respected in a quiet, seious and yet light hearted environment which was like nothing I'd yet experienced in Korea. the hustle and bustle of Seoul was stripped away and the stillness that has been lacking from my life since my arrival here was reclaimed.

I was very lucky in my choice of weeks to stay at the temple for I had the best of both worlds so to speek. I participated in the regular schedule of this fully functional Zen Center for the first coupple days of my stay. Temple life is a completely different routine. As the burdens of the outside world are stripped away, the 24/7 schedule of this environment seems slightly less dramatic. Every day, as your body and mind adjust you need less food and less sleep to sustain you throughout the day. The schedule reads:

3AM -Meditation

4AM -108 Bows

4:30AM -Chanting

5Am -Meditation

6AM -Breakfast and chores

7-11AM -Meditation

11:30AM Lunch

12PM -Hike, instruction

2-4PM -Meditation

4:30PM -Dinner

6PM -Chanting

6:30-9PM -Meditation

9:30PM -Lights out.

Sustaining this simple lifestyle grows upon itself, and in a very short amount of time everything else begins to quickly fade into the background. The temple is run with military precision. This is serious business. Breakfast at 6AM means be there at 5:58! or no food! or worse the Zen Master will chew you out! It definitely got easier with each day that passed. The first two days were reallllllllly hard!!!!!!!!

After our all out excursion day on Wednesday in which we: went to the spa, went for tea, went ice skating in the DMZ, had an amazing dinner with drinks and songs and dancing and enough car giggles to sattisfy even the silliest 10 year old, well it was down to serious business.

The 15th marked the beginning of the Lunar New Year and also the beginning of the intensicve Winter retreat. the monks will litterally sit in meditation for 21.5 hours a day taking only 5 minute breaks every hour and 3 1hour breaks for meals and showers. NUUUTZ!!! During the retreat you are not supposed to touch your spine to the ground. I followed along Friday, Saturday and Sunday with the quite intense distinction of choosing to sleep at night. But they're the Monks, not me. All things considered, I think I did pretty well. I worked my way up to sitting for 7 hours on the last day. Not too shabby. And with regular practice i could probably to more! I made some solid aquaintances and had some major reflection time. It was the first time in Korea that I have had the chance to just be myself and live my own life appart from being Alex the english teacher. In that way, it was truely an amazing experience. It has also given me a more positive outlook on Korea and my position here. Doing is the key and I intend to keep doing as much as possible in the future. That includes leaving all of those things that cause me anxiety and unhappiness behind and trying to incorporate more of the things that make me happy into my every day life.

That is my goal in this new year. We shall see how I fare.

2010-01-10T04:55:00.000-08:00

Me and Sarah celebrating Christmas in style

NEW YEARS DINNER!!!! Somehow Silvia and I got seated with the guys.

NEW YEARS MADNESS IN THE STREETS OF SEOUL!

Christmas, New Years, Winter camp

2010-01-10T04:48:00.000-08:00

Life on the other side of WINTER CAMP.

2010-01-10T03:45:00.000-08:00

It is 2010! Holly Jeeeese! This year has been gearing up to be all about work and finding my way outside of school. I began the New Year by celebrating dinner and then drinks with a bunch of the teachers from the Canadian Connections agency. It was quite nice. We ate Galbi, drank makoli and soju and celebrated all things Korean. Haha! Then we headed back to one of the girls' appartments to continue the party before heading over to City Hall for the countdown. Due to the fact that there were many people traveling together and no one seemed to know exactly how to get there, we ended up NOT making it exactly to City Hall but to a random street near City Hall... Which was nevertheless filled with people and music and more riot poliece than I have ever seen in my life (WHY?). At midnight everyone seemed to have fireworks and punctually set them all off in one giant blur of cheep smoke, bangs, sparks and flying ash. Wonderful. Everyone was wired for sound after that, so we all headed over to Hongdae. We ended up at the Zen Bar and met up with a number of other SMOE teachers. It really seemes to be the place to go for foreigners; which is probably why I've never been there. ahaha.
We danced the night away and I ended up crashing at someones appartment. New Years day was a slow recovery, which culminated in a giant shoppiong spree in Myong-dong. Yee whoooo! That's how you start a new year! Some new shoes, toiletries, party dresses and books later, I made my way home. The 28th I began my first winter camp at Gawon Elementary School. There were 4 foreign teachers teaching 16 kids a day with rotating classes. It was a small camp comparatively speaking and the school had really good resources actually. So the first week, I was teaching the drama unit. I had to develop my own curriculum, and after negotiating for what seemed like forever with the camp directors I ended up doing a lesson based on drama games for ESL kids. It actually began with yoga and breathing and stretching, then voice and memory exercises and games and finally with pantomime skits. It went very well. Although they gave us this space which was absolutely FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZING COLD!!!!!! It was the auditorium on the top floor of the school and although it was a nice open room, the school did not seem to understand that it was an unproductive space to work in when it was only about 10-15C and all of the kids were distracted by the fact that they couldn't feel their toes or fingers.... EUGH!!!! The slight inconvenience of cold was made up by the enthusiasm of the kids, the availability of resources and also the super meals and treats they treated the teachers to every day. MAN, I wish my school treated me this well allll the time!!!!!!!!
The second week was super awsome!!!!!!!!!! To be honest, it's really helped me restore my faith that I AM in the right profession. I am an art specialist and therefore this opportunity to create and teach an arts curriculum was a great thing for me. It ended up being more difficult to please the camp directors when I was creating the lesson. I wanted to create an formidable art project. they wanted me to do word searches, fill in the blanks and colouring books. Ummmm...no. I ended up doing a unit on fairy tales where we taught the story and then did a book based on the plot and character summary and development. It turned out really well, but I think it only worked because of all the prep work i put into the lesson before hand. MAN!! Doing art with kids is a whole different kettle of fish than monitoring and guiding teens or University students through their projects. In those cases the golden rule is not to touch your students work and to let them work through their difficulties. NOT WITH KIDS! I ended up doing a good deal of the project (all the paper folding and picture selection) before the kids even got there due to time constraints. It was like ok first we do this, then we do this, now we're onto this step and everyone let's go we only have this many minutes for this step!!! And we're done! It was so different but at least all my experience with managing groups of kids made it possible to get the projects completed! Some more than others.. yet, still all good and individual. FABULOUS!
At the end of camp the last day was a talent show! Every morning and after the main lesson, each homeroom had been practicing and rehearsing their routines. I ended up choosing to sing "My Favorite Things" from "The Sound of Music". Each child was given a favorite thing which they made a poster for and we read and re-read and sang and sang and sang that song over and over again until they had it down. On the day of the show I think my group were the tightest and most entertaining hands down. Now I know what it feels like to be a stage mom!
The only other development in my life in this new year appart from teaching has been a returning interest in the temple and exploring that avenue of my life. On the first sunday of the New Year, I once again made the treck out to the Hagweysa Temple at Suyu station to participate in the guided meditation and dharma talk in English. It was so interesting and relaxing that I finally decided to apply for a temple stay. The result is that tomorrow I head back there for my week of vacation to do a meditation retreat. I don`t know if it will be relaxing, motivating, horrifying, terrible, awakening, inspiring... All I can do is show up with an open mind and a good attitude. And honestly if I really can't take it i can always bail. I'm not becoming a nun or signing my life away, I'm just going to try to spend a week of my life listening and sitting in silence. There are scarrier prospects. Everyone has been super supportive, so I suspect they will also want to hear all about it when I get out. hahaha I make it sound like I'm going to jail or something. Well for now, that's all folks! Talk to you in a week, maybe I'll have discovered the purpose of my life or answered some deep meaningful questions about self and spirituality... or maybe I will have just spent a week not sleeping very much and doing a lot of meneal labour. We shall see...

the week that was Christmas in Seoul

2009-12-26T23:55:00.001-08:00

Christmas in Seoul... like no other I've ever had.

2009-12-26T22:41:00.000-08:00

Well, Christmas 2009 is over and done with and to be honest, it all feels just a wee bit strange. This past week was certainly a departure from my regular schedule. Last Monday was the first day of winter holidays for the kids at school. It was also the day that we left on a two day teachers trip, for the teachers association at my school. In all respects it was a riot. Most of all because it was anything but what I was expecting. One way of describing it would have been "hurry up and wait!" When I asked exactly where we were going and what we were doing no one seemed to know. You just have to trust sometimes that it`ll all work out alright somehow.
We began our trip by running (litterally) in a herd through the neighbourhood, to wait for the bus. Now, not quite knowing what the hell was going on I assumed we were running because our bus was leaving and we needed to get on it, but after about 25 minutes of standing there i realized that the bus was no where in sight and we were just vying for a seat we wanted. Instead I was treated to a berrage of well meaning questions from other teachers which were meant to show affection I`m sure but left me with the keen realization that well yes I do have terrible skin right now, and thank you for pointing out that i`ve put on some weight since beeing here and again no I still don`t have a boyfriend. Oh Jeese!
A further 20 minutes of standing in the cold led us to believe that there was a problem with the bus, so the administration told us to back to the school and wait. Which we did. For a coupple minutes before they told us to go and wait for the bus again at a different location. so off they ran again (this time I was expecting it) and when we came to the bus it occured to me that it would have made a lot more sense for the bus to have come to us. Trivial matters like these are wheat makes it all worth while though. So we had our goodie bags distributed and our itinerary loud speakered and our itinnerary changed seeing as we were now 2 hours behind schedule and whatnot. This was all done very quickly and we rushed on to our first destination.
It`s all a muddle of loading on and off and on and off and on and off the bus and shouts of `HURRY UP!` And Alex we must go now ou can`t look so long and again you must hurry now. And it occured to me that this was my first tour bus travelling experience and that I would never choose to travel and sight see like this EVERRRRRR! In the end though it ended up being a very jam packed day full of Korean country side, a coupple temples and some rather amusing cultural museums. Dinner was less amusing as they had made reservations at a seafood restaurant and i`m allergic to seafood. So I couldn`t eat much, the smell was making me nauseous, and I had tons of people asking me why I wasn`t eating something that would kill me or drink Soju which on an empty stomach is never a particularly good decision.
After dinner we headed to the hotel which we were staying at which ended up being quite nice. We were put into small appartments with 6 teachers 2 bedrooms. There were no beds or towels though. apparently you have to pay quite a bit of money to sleep on the floor and have a shower wedged into the toilet. I love it. The best part of the trip was the Karaeoke bar and pool hall they had in the basement of the hotel. Not a pool, but still a good time. I got to sing along with a coupple songs I didn`t and stare in disbeliefe at all the wild actions to the Korean songs that I didn`t know. It was hilarious although it was strange to remember that these were constantly your fellow staff members and all the appearances of rank and power still had to be preserved. No question. Seniority is no joke here. All of your actions have to be dictated by where exactly you sit on that totem pole of power within the school. The newbies always loose out. It was excellent to be able to meet many staff that i had never really spoken with before, and i think that my participation on this trip will only be a good thing for me in the end.
The next day was very much like the first. file on and off and on and off... hurry up and wait, etc... The very last thing we did was to go to this byob restaurant. Only it wasn`t booze it was beef!!!!!! HAHAHAHA! We were all given 15,000 W to go and buy our beef with and then we went to this restaurant and ate our fried beef. It was really delicious! But i haven`t had that much meet in a LONG time and I don`t think I necessarily want to in the near future. The most ourangeous thing was seeing how drunk everyone was getting at every meal!!!! All of the administration has a habit of being offered a shot and when you give a shot you have to take a shot and vice versa. So by the end of the meal, the senior staff are all blitzed!!! Then on the way back to Seoul, we sang karaeoke and passed around home made liquor. I felt like i was on my senior high school trip where the cool people sat at the back of the bus and got shit hammered and made a lot of noise. Soooooooooooooo funny!
What struck me on a cultural note was that outside of Seoul, Korean is like a giant farm... and a poor giant farm where a lot of people live in improvised shacks with limited heating and electricity. I really felt like I had made the right decision to move to the city, because i don`t know if I could handle a country existance here. Very intense.
The next day was when Chritsmas really began because I had the opportunity to go and meet up with Seul-Ki and her familly. She is the Korean girl who is billiting with my parents in Barrie while she attends high school there. Her parents work and live in South West seoul. She had come home for Christmas vacation and she was going to introduce me to her familly and give me my Christmas presents from mine. I was super excited to meet up with her because i felt like she was my little connexion to home. Rather unfortunately, her familly lives on quite the opposite side of town, so it wasn`t that easy for me to get there. And also, she was not feeling the best, so she wasn`t the happiest creature that night. Her family is great, and they ended up taking me to this super ritzy Italian restaurant, on the 48th floor of a building!!!! What was ever better was when they invited me afterwards to their appartment accross the street on the 59th floor of the largest appartment complex I`d ever seen!!!!!!!!!! It had airplane tower lights it was so high. Absolutely increadible! Her parents invited my to stay the night adn really who wouldn`t have!? the next day we had a 5 course breakfast prepared by Seul-kis mom and i could understand why she was homesick for korea because breakfast at my house comes without a spectacular view or hand made seawead wraps and miso soup served in porcelain dishes. Too bad. But you know, toast and coffee is good too.
They happened to live directly accross the street from a very large department store and seeing as I had just gotten paid and it was Chritmas eve, i took myself out Christmas shopping. then I managed to make it to a Chritmas service with my friend Silvia where we drank mulled wine and got rosey cheekes and had a good feeling of holiday bliss. Yeehaw! Gift ladden, I made my way accross town and then had a wonderful evening talking to friends on skype and feeling as though I'd seen my family or at least had the opportunity to spend some time within a family dynamic. On Chritmas day I had a real good chat with my family on skype. The bums have refused to use it till now and so this was the first time I've seen them in 4 months!!!!!!!!!!! Longer for my dad, brother and sister. It felt really great. Now they believe me that it's different from the phone and i think we'll speak more often.
Then i headed off to my friend Sarah's for Christmas dinner. She too lives completely on the other side of town, so I know i wouldn't be getting home that night. We decided to do a Christmas Stir-Fry! With mashed potatos and good red wine to drink. It was pretty hilarious! But comfort food is good no matter when and where. Afterwards we went out to walk around her neighborhood in Hongdae and then settled on going to "Obeg" club for the night. There was a really good drum and base and dancy music DJ playing and with the help of some yummy coktails, we danced the night away! Boxing day was a total waste of a day spent recovering from Christmas in a big way, but it had it's charms. Sarah and I basically spent the day munching on goodies and watching movies on her laptop computer and drinking lots of tea and water. Rough day, but still good. And tomorrow is the beginning of amonth of winter camp. I really have no idea what to expect, but I think it's safe to say that maybe that's a good thing. Because life here seems to be a lot better when you just take it as it comes.

pre-Chritmas run up

2009-12-12T19:04:00.000-08:00

..."Have yourself a merry little Christmas" lalalalalalalalalala

We're gearing up for the Christmas season here and uletide cheer is all around.... er... maybe? To be honest, with no snow on the ground and my familly a 15 hour flight away, I kinda feel like chritmas spirit is also a little thin on the ground.

This week will be the last week of classes, thaqt god! And instead of hammering through the rest of the curriculum Hey-In and I have decided to teach christmas carolls!! I have decided that it is of vital cultural importance to introduce Mr. Frank Sinatra and Mr. Bing Crosbey to Korean children. And I'm hoping that it will help get me into the spirit at the same time...

Last week, Hey-In, Arion and I had t oattend a district office conference on co-teaching. it was actually kind of fun in a lame campy sort of way. There we saw a coupple presentations on co-teaching and then we were divided into a numer of teams. It was like an old school gym competition where we ran around from station to station playing a traditional Korean kids game with another team, collecting points and having a laugh along the way. It was pretty funny. Our team won about half lost half... either way it was a laugh and that was important. I also had the opportunity to meet a couple of new teachers in my neighbourhood, so that was good. I also spoke to the coordinatior Angela Lalonde, about the possibility of maybe taking over someones' appartment if they break their contracts and leave the country in the near future. Anywhere closer to Jamsil and nearer to downtown. We'll see. I may have to still pay, but it may be a way to do it. We'll see. It's something to look forward to.

This week has been rough, because I've been trying do deal with this rotten cold that has left me tired and grosssssssssssss! But yesterday I managed to get out for a girls day out. It was great, Jeannie, Grace, Alice, Silvia and i went shopping in Edae (at Ewah Women's University.) It's super far, so i haven't been before now, but it was really great! I really love this area. It was very vibrant and super cool. We went for a nice lunch and then walked around the area checking out shops and having a laugh. I bought an awsome new purse and dome good winter gloves. tres chick! Then afterwards we headed over to Gwangwhamun Plaza for this amazing outdoor live snowboarding competition. They had built this increadible structure and ramp for the snowboarders to jump off of. It was crazy! And there were sooooooooooooo many people there! Afterwards, the girls were ehading out to Hongdae to club, but my cold was pretty much destroying me at that point, so I had to head home.

This upcoming week should be pretty great because we're nearly at vacation time..... ok so camp lessons need to get finished, presents need to get bought, cards need to be made and plans too.

That's all for now folks!

Redemption Bar, possibly the coolest Reggae show ever!!!!

2009-12-06T05:34:00.000-08:00

I am now an internationally exhibited artist!

2009-12-04T04:42:00.000-08:00

Wow! and Yay! I feel like I've come to the real pinacle of all of my years of school. A real to goodness exhibition in a bonnified gallery! And an international tick on my artist CV that I can be proud of. Joining the Seoul Artists collective was a really good move on my part because it's provided a solid opportunity for me to get involved in the art community here and given me a chance to exhibit my work in the REAL WORLD so to speek.

I worked like a deamon last weekend to get it all finished in time for the installation Tuesday, Dec 1st. But in the end i got it done. I wasn't sure how it was going to come together in the end, but in some ways I think that's what make site specific installation so precious and interesting. It is really a piece produced for that space! I took my time when I got there to find the right spece. I chose a wall finally in the NA Gallery and after playing around with it for a bit I decide no to have the memory boxes on the floor but rather to have them wrapped and caught and suspended within the red ropes/veins. I think the effect was really interesting. It gives this raw visceral quality to the piece that helps connect the concept of physical memory being intertwined with psychological memory. Once it was all installed I couldn't help but wish that there were more of everything! More boxes, more strings, more paint bigger canvas. More more more more! Like any good obsession, you want more. i think it would also have been a better visual bang for you buck so to speek. Once the lighting was up and everything was in place I was actually quite pleased with the effect.

I think moving away from academic art has really given me the more liberty to play and experiment with materials and modes of expression. And I'm really pleased and loving photocoppy and gel medium transfers! it's like the best of both worlds! I get to work on my photography and then I also get to work on my painting and drawing. People were always telling my that my work was strongly tied to the photograph so might as well start going directly to the reproduction and working away from there!!

The opening vernissage was great! Silvia and Grace came to support and I ended up talking with several other artists that I hadn't had a chance to talk to before! I had a coupple people come to me and say that it was their favorite piece in the whole show!! Wow! Awsome!. I also had another curator come up to me and say that she loved my painting that was in the brochure; (Chris and Alex Sweeping, 2009) and she told me to get a flicker or myspace site going and send her the link. She said when i had more paintings ready to give her a call...... YEEHOOOO!!! It's always nice to have fans and supporters of your work. I think my work has been really well received outside of school. Which leads me to beieve what I had previously concluded; that my work is more accessible to people who are NOT looking for references and pushing the envalope but just looking for a story. I guess I'm not trendy enough for some. The subjects I choose to portray are not edgy enough.

I think when you're in art school a lot of times the people that get their work shown are a measure of who is the most popular person in the department and who has the best contacts. And maybe that's how the world functions in general? But one thing that I've discovered outside of art school is that generally speaking, outside of this very exclusive group of people, the general population doesn't have a clue what's going on, (NOR DO THEY CARE!!) what's trendy and really give a shit about what's happening in the contemporary art scene. We are a product of our education, so those that are educated in Fine Art can afford to have pretensions and a giant stick up their butt and think themselves above those who can't talk the talk. But I really get a kick when people tell me straight up that they like my work because it's pretty, beautiful or makes them feel good or think of similar situations in their own lives. That's perfectly ok to me. In fact I'd rather have people identify with my work aesthetically and on a personal level than like it because it fits the mold of a certain scene.
So now what? Well the show will be up until mid december and then, I'm in no rush to get into another show immediately, but having the prospect of future exhibitions with these people is a big push to keep plugging away at it and keep working steadily. This is great! It's the best i could have hoped for.... well appart from a solo show, but you know I have only been here 3 months, there's time.

here are some links to the posters and info about the exhibition:

Novembers

2009-11-28T08:07:00.001-08:00

My Lovely boudoire

View of my newly arranged bachelor pad; living, dining, bedding, dressing... lovely

Living & Dinning for one

Desk and artmaking station (plus workout area thus the yoga mat)

Me receiving my very fancy certificate of participation :D

I feel Royal, oh so Royal, I feel royal, and spoiled, and gay!!!! And I pitty, any one who isn't noble today!

I feel so noble, with my own dressers and all...

I went as a Self Portarit for Halloween. It was actually a really successful costume! LOL!

Me and Silvia

Getting into the Christmas spirit

2009-11-28T07:02:00.000-08:00

Hohoho!
Or not so much. I can't belive it's nearly December! It's been the craziest thing, November has seemed to absolutely dissappear at an alarming rate! But, I'm kindof happy to be issueing in the beginning of the christmas season. I think it'll be reallhy interesting to see how Korea does Christmas. Maybe big, maybe small , maybe not at all... we shall see. There have been a couple exciting things happen recently. the most exciting being that I finally managed to find an internet provider -with the help of my co-teachers- that will install internet service in my appartment!!!!!!! Yee Haw! So this is my first official blog entry from my very own appartment. It feels great! I feel soo much more on top of things and in control of information! yar! I think i'll really just end up watching a lot more Youtube and internet TV as an outcome, but at least it will facilitate communication between me and the rest of the world a little bit more, and hey for $20 a month, it's well worth it. I decided to change my furniture around to accommodate the only cable outlet in the appartment. So I changed all my funiture and I think it makes the appartment a lot more functional. I've divided it into seperate areas with my bookcases and the effect is really nice both visually and psychologically. It makes my room area feel more private.
I was so thrilled but slightly pissed when the internet guys showed up 2 hours early!! Come on! I told them to come back on time so that i could get my appartment ready and get dressed at least! Hahaha, they did too. I had to keep calling my co-teacher Seung Eun and have her talk to the installation guy to make him understand where I wanted the internet and no I do not have a TV for them to install cable. But we got there in the end. Thank goodness! I promptly spent the rest of the day online catching up on Youtube videos of this season of So You Think You Can Dance Canada!
Deanna thought that I should have started a blog with my detailed analysis of the competition, but unfortunately CTV does not allow the show to be broadcast outside of Canada and I can only glean soooo much from Youtube vids, but here is my analysis after hammering through as many vids of the competition as I could find.
T.J. won the competition. And I think she was deserving of it because she addapted the best to all theifferent styles of dance although i find that she has some very distrating mannerisms. Jame-Rae was great. She was pretty hot and a great dancer but I think my favorite dancers of the competition were Vincent and Kim. I'm sad that neither of them won, but it is after all a popularity competition because they're eliminated due to votes and not pure tallent or performances. I think Kim was a classy classy chick and dancer and i think she has the looks and the body that could take her far in the industry. (Like Karington from the American show who went on to become a big film star in Fame etc...) Vincent was just gorgeous and I think this will get him a lot of exposure and potential jobs in the ballroom world because you coulod almost see him outdancing and out performing the choreographers in rehersals. Not to mention he's French, charming and hot. Altogether the only things that got me down was that I thought the choreography leaned too far towards the mainstream music video culture and not enough towards pure artistic creation. Although I have to remember that it is a TV show made for a mass audience that is made up of sceaming teen aged girld for the most part. I still like the contemporary numbers the best though, especially when they get really arty and character driven. My favorite performances were Amy and Vincents' piece about psychological abuse and the top 3 girls group routine done to classical music. Both of these pieces gave me chills and I had to watch them a coupple of times. Mia Micheals is a genius and I really enjoy her commentary because she is always straight forward and real. It reminds you that in the real world of the arts criticism is harsh and standards are high and it's certainly not just a popularity contest. The only thing I would criticise is the lack of multicultural numbers (considering it is sytycd canada) and also that there was just sooooo much sex and girations of the hips and so much sex sex sex. I don't think great dancing has to be about sex. I think some of the strongest numbers had nothing to do with boy meets girl and they want to get it off. But that's just my opinion. Anyway, I will definitely be following this show as long as it stays on the air and it makes me want to go out and danse. So there you go Deanna and Manu. That one was for you. LOL!
So last week was the final day of the royal court culture class at the national palace museum. It was faily coll as not only did we get to try on royal garb but we also got an amazingly cool blue velvet ecased certificate to prove that we had sucsessfully attended and passed the course... if it was a courseÉ I think it just certifies that we were there and participated, but it`s still cool because it`s soft and velvet and royal blue! It's freeking fancier than my university deploma!!! oh god Korea is so funny.
So I've finally come to peace with the fact that I've been delt a slightly shitty hand here in terms of my school and my living arrangements and I'm determined to look on the bringht side of life and do the best that i can with what I have. So I have to accept that it will just take me much longer to hget asywhere and that I won't be able to participate in a lot of events because i just can't go and stay for an hour when it takes me over an hour to get there and longer to get back. And I have come to terms with the fact that i am not a party person and I never have been so why the Hell would I start now? I don't enjoy being out all night, getting oissed and being tired and humg over all the next day. Never have, probably never will, so might as well not feel guilty about not getting out there and making happy with all the 22 year olds who have not juust finished a grueling masters. I have had a lot of trouble being angry with myself for not having the energy I did when I was 22. If I think back, my 22nd birthday was spent PARTYING at an underground club in Paris!!!! And yes we did stay out all night and yes I has a lot more energy. And no I do not regret it one bit, but I was at a completely different point in my life then and a lot has changed in the last 3 years. So now I think I need to spend more time finding situations I enjoy and less time feeling guilty about not getting out more in situations that I don't really care to be in anyway. When I think about it, I have done a lot in 3 months, more that I'd expected to actually. It's just that everyone else here is soooooo full of beans that it makes me feel as though I'm sitting still in comparison. And there shall we say is the problem; that of comparison. Just stop.
On the bright and sunny and optimistic side of things I got a new haircut which I really love! It would look best if i bought a staightener and straightened my hair every morning, but lests not kid ourselves on this one, I can't even be bothered to brush my hair most mornings never the less coif it!!!! Next i went and saw the most hilarious, scarry, adorable Chritmas movie tonight. Classic! A Chritmas Carol! The new animated one by Disney. It was actually really good and I laughed out loud a LOT! It was really scarry for a kids movie although it's not the lightest topic i suppose. And finally my artowrk it beginning to take shape, litterally, the boxes are together and they look really cool, not i just have to work on the installation part of it.
Will keep posted. For now, that's all folks!

pikchas

2009-11-19T04:42:00.001-08:00

Our fabulous traditional Court Culture Course at the national palace Museum. I learnt how to wite my name in traditional Korean...... always long in any language. I didn't even attempt my last name... hahahahaha

Finally Figuring out How to work AND Play In Seoul

2009-11-19T03:27:00.000-08:00

Oh Good Lord! It`s already the nearing the end of November and I find the time passing a lot more quickly than I would have expected. The past coupple of weeks have produced some interesting developments. I`m really glad that I`ve gotten myself involved with the seoul artists collective. After our group meeting, I imediately sensed that I had found a group of individuals who were like minded and had similar ambitions towards their art as me. It`s alwayns nice to find other people who take their work seriously. Exhibiting here will be really great for my CV as well as my confidence I think. I think it will also be good for my psyche because since I`ve been working on my piece over the past coupple of weeks, I`ve felt my mood distinctly shift. I don`t know how to describe it other than I feel I`m being useful or putting my time to good use by being buisy making my art in the evenings. No longer am I feeling bad about being at home rather than getting out every night because I`m at home working on my art. The additional instigation of a fast approaching due date has left me feeling like I`m back in my Studio Arts days where getting the work done and working until it was done for the critique was a way of life. I like the pressure of preparing work for a due date and knowing that what I make will be seen by others. I just hope it works out. The idea with this project is that I`m making a comment on how my understanding and the memories that i have made in Korea have been shaped by my identity as a Canadian. I bring my identity, my education and everything that is entailed along with me whereever I go. I`m playing with photcoppy transfers and photo collage. I like the idea of integrating the text from travel journals with the photos I have taken when visiting these tourist destinations. The personal meets the impersonal. It`s taking on more of an installation quality than I originally expected,and although i have a theme I`m working with, It feels quite liberating to be able to get away from art making on a strictly academic level. I don`t need to justify it as much and i find that I am taking more risks with form and media than I have in the past. There`s also the fact that I can`t really work with my chosen media (oils) while I`m here..... not in my appartment anyway. Anywho, The deadline is just over a week away and I have to admit I`m beginning to feel the pressure a little bit. It will just have to get done and that`s that.
School has been ok. I have been putting in more effort into developing lessons that follow the book but also are a bit more entertaining and enthuse the kids a bit more. Especially the grade 6s. They need to be pulled up by their boot straps. In certain instances Iève startd modifying the book by just skipping the most lame parts, but then my co-teacher brings me back to earth reminding me that I have to cover this material as some parents might ask the kids why they have not filled out allllll the sections of their book and complain to the school about it. ARGH! So creativity is limited, but I havenèt quite given up, yet. My school life is not quite as exciting as I had hoped it might be, but the women are really lovely and Seung Eun and I have been becoming better friends. Two of the ladies in my office are very newly pregnant, so that will be very interesting to watch develop over the coming months. I'm still slightly shocked by the state of womens rights and social expectations towards women here. Being beautiful, Getting married and having a baby still seems to be the golden standard. Maybe I'm fooling myself to believe that it isn't still like this everywhere, but maybe it's more hidden in other parts of the westen world than it is here. Today for example i had said that I wanted to go back on the pill because it had regulated my skin, weight and cycles and they kinda flipped out and were telling me the most rediculous nonsense about myths surrounding birth control and things like tampons and alternatinve methods of womanly care. It moments like this when I feel how open and free we are in Canada. When grown women scream and blush and shy away from the concept of using a tampon because they might have to touch themselves in such primitive parts kinda shock me and freeks me out....... What? The cultural sensitivity kinda trips me out.
I had a serious talk with my co-teachers and my head teacher about the possibility of moving closer to downtown. I mean I don't want to complain, but i really think it was shitty of my school to put me in an appartment so god damn far away from everything and everyone. I'm not complaining about the commute to school. Half an hour is a perfectly reasonable commute, what is unreasonable is the fact that it's half an hour further away from downtown from my already far away school!!!!!!!! If I had to commute even 40 minutes to school from closer to down town it would be fine to me! I wouldn't complain, but at the end of all this it appears that the school has locked me into a 1 year lease in a bad appartment in a dessolate part of town. No one will come and visite me and it really limits my options for going out on weeknights when I know it's going to take me 1 1/2 hours to get there and get back. So after much discussion and parusal of the contract my head teacher informed me that I WOULD be able to move if I absolutely insisted on it, but I had rather not because it will be a very loooong, difficult and exprensive process for me. I will have to pay KRW 300,000.00 roughly CAN$300.00 to my landlord for breaking my contract and requesting alease transfer. Then I will have to find an appartment that will rent me a room without a deposit on a 1 year contract and since I'm only here for 9 more months I'll have to break my contract agin when I leave. In the event that I can actually find an appartment near a subway that will rent to me I will then have to pay them KRW 300,000.00 for another lease transfer form and on top of all that i will have to pay an exorbitant sum of money to have movers move all of the crappy furniture my school bought me from one appartment to the other. Altogehter, shitty and unreasonable, but I would like my school to realise that they put me in a living situation which has made my life that much more difficult and lonely here. Yes, may of them live even further in the sticks than i do, but they also live ther with their families, boyfriends, wives or husbands etc... But I will just have to pretend that I'm one of the West Island kids who go into town on the weekends to party hardy and have to wait till the next morning to take the commuter trains back home. Every outting will have to be planned and scheduled in accordance with train schedules and reasonable amounts of travel time. FRIG!!!!!
Despite all this bullshit I have been making a point to get out and meet new peeps as much as possible. I also joined a Korean Court Culture Class at the Royal National museum at Gyeongbokgung Palace. It has ben really fun and surprisingly hands on. Alice, Jeanie and a coupple other SMOE teachers are also attending, so it has almost become a weekly outing for us the past coupple of weeks. so far we have learnt how to make soap in the form of certain important artifacts... we learned how to write our names on traditional papper with ink and brush (and we got to use the kings' official seal as well), and this last week we also learned how to make bi bim bap! Korean cooking is fairly simple and quite yummy although this one has a LOT of steps to it Sesame, soya sauce, garlic and chili, yup. I guess because it's a dish based on left overs (like sheaperds pie) but when you make it from scratch there are a lot of things to make!!!!!!! I'm going to steal some of Jeanie and alices photos off facebook because I've been desperately bad at taking pictures the past coupple of weeks...... eek.
Well, that's pretty much it. I met a coupple people who went to school in Montreal, so hopefully I'll be able to meet up with them and reminisce a bit..... I find I miss Montreal and everyone there A LOT MORE than I expected to... :(
I expect I'll be quite buisy the next coupple of weeks, it's the end of the school year here so things are getting cranked up into high gear to make sure all the units are covered. Students are in full review mode and exam panic. It could explain why they've been such disinterested shits.... more important things to worry about. hahahaha!
I've found out I'm doing 3 weeks of winter compas this break which leaves me with not that much time off AT ALLLLLLL actually. I don't thinkl I have a full week in over a month of holiday. Suck, but at least I've been assigned the drama and art modules to write lesson plans for and to instruct. Yeeeeeeeeeeehoooooooooooooooooooooooo! Hooray, finally something creative and wide open to teach. YAY! At least that will make the fact that I can't be travelling or on a beach somewhere during that time seem slightly more bearable. LOL! Sigh... More frequent posts to come because I finally found an internet cable company who will install internet in my appartment!!!!!! Most places do not offer service outside of this province..... BECAUSE I DON'T LIVE IN SEOUL, OR EVEN THAT PROVINCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But internet at home soooooooooooon! Also paycheque soooooon COSTCO here I come!

the colours of Korea in the Fall

2009-11-07T23:06:00.000-08:00

Re-directing my focus

2009-11-07T21:47:00.000-08:00

How is it already November 8th? Oh my Lord! Where has the time gone? Not quite up in smoke, but somewhere not quite clearly defined. There have been a coupple interesting developments in my life here recently. I've been coming to the realisation that work is not that enthralling and despite the fact that I'm at work 40 hours a week, I don't feel like I'm doing very much with myself here. I've been trying to think about what it is that I really like to do and what I really want to be doing with all of this extra time. I've also been asking myself why I can't be quite sattisfied with doing nothing. I blame my education for that. i've been having it hammered into me that there is always something to do and that any time spent doing nothing is a real waste of time.
I started to think about what I had told myself I would do after I finished grad school. I had repeatedly told myself that after grad school I would: a) Get a good job, b) Travel and c) work on my art. Well..... I have a job, it's not the best job in the world, but it's a good job at the moment and it will help me move towards better jobs in the future. Maybe I just need to invest more creativity into that job, to make it a little less banal... and well yes, taking the job in itself has included travelling. It hasn't really been a vacation, so to speek, but it has given me the chance to experience life in a new culture and seeing and exploring new things and ways of life. And after all isn't that why we travel in the first place? that and partying.... maybe that's what's been missing from my travelling adventure so far? Not enough alcohol induced crazy nights. LOL! I think I'm going to start putting some money asside each month so that next summer I can go somewhere and lie on a beach and swim to my hearts content as long as I can afford.
And then we come to making art. somehow, it's been really difficult for me to move away from a strictly academic framework and move towards a mindset that will allow me to just creat art for myself or for pleasures sake. It has been a real challeng and also a real pain in the ass. it's something I know I like to do and something that I'm good at, but now that the movivation of school and due dates has been removed, it's become increadibly difficult to find the motivation to sit down and actually do the work. I guess you could say that like many people I work best under pressure, so i needed to find a situation that put some pressure back into my life. I began looking aroun and i found the answer through the seoul Artist Collective on facebook. One of the members; Richard, was looking for artists who were interested in forming and international artists collective and putting on group art exhibitions with a specific theme in seoul. I said I was interested, and before i know it i was attending an information session and a meet and greet with other artists. At the meeting it became clear to me that I had all of the sudden left the real of art student and found my way into the sphere of professional artist. Quite by hazzard really, but there you go. We met at the "Jay Gallery" near Anguk Station in Insa-dong, to discuss putting on an exhibition with the theme "Cultures Connect" from december 2-15th. There were about 15 artist there, plus the gallery owners, from all over the world. that's the idea with this collective. that we represent artist from all over the world who have found themselves in this emerging culture and art scene in Seoul. Seoul is in fact at a point in it's own culture where it must begin to accept more workers from overseas in order to balance it's labor force. Therefore, it will become more multicultural over the next decade, and it is this new move towards multiculturalism which really interested the (leaders) of the group and instigated the creation of the collective. It's all very exciting. It's also a bit heavy in a way. I just want to make art in a community with other sympathetic and like minded people. i don't know if I really want to be part of a group that sees itself as a driving force in the emergence of a new art movement. We'll have to wait and see what happens after our first exhibit! Anyway, I've decided to go for it and have paid the entry fee into the group, for brochures and advertising for the upcoming show. By doing so, I've succeeded in getting myself a spot in the show and also assuring myself at least 1 international exhibition on my artists cv. I think THAT was the deciding point. I think it is time to start thinking on a larger scale. I've already got solo and group shows in Barrie, Toronto and Montreal, now I have to begin making contacts and broadening my CV. with a coupple of international ticks, I'm sure it will look more convincing. I'm a bit bummed that none of my work at the \Youthdale exhibition sold, but at least I've shown my work now at a show funded by the Canadian Council for the Arts. Good start.
For the exhibit I have an idea that I want to work with the theme a little more literally. But i also want to continue with the main theme in my work which is the self, storry-telling and documentation. I am not really set up to paint in my appartment and to be honest, I'm not really interested in putting the time into painting so much at the moment. i find working with acrylics frustrating, and seeing as I'm not going to get a studio here quite yet (may be slightly pre-mature I think ;) ) I'm probably going to work with a mixture of acrylic and dry mediums. i've wanted to do some experimentation with gel medium transfers, so that's the direction I'm going towards. I also had the idea that I wanted to show how my understanding of Korea and Korean culture has come mostly from what I have read in travel books and brochures and then how that has stood in contrast with my lived experinces when i have visited these places. How are our expectations of a place changed when we visite a location, hear, see, taste, smell something with our own eyes and senses as opposed to just reading about it in a book? Anyway, I've been doing some tests and I actually really like working with the photocoppy transfer, there's a lot to play with there. I also like that this has given me an excuse to make art but still within the slightly academic (or theme based mode of artmaking) that i'm used to.
otherwise, my life hasn't been overly exciting. I've been getting to the gym more often and although i still feel desperately out of shape, i do feel slightly more in shape than when I began a month ago. Or maybe that's just wishful thinking? I DO miss swimming!!!!! There are no pools around where i live and the Olympic pool has very restricted swim times for people to come and pay for a swim. It's quite annoying really. Halloween last week was a good time. I managed to make it to my friend Sarah and Jeffs' bithday halloween extravaganza. It was a right 'ol good time. My costume was a real success although i failed to get one good picture1 Darn it! i have to admit i keep carrying around my camera and not getting any good pictures recently. Bad..... need to work on that. this weekend, I made the treck accross town to go to a house party. It was soooooooooooooooooooooooooo far! it took me 2 hours to get there door to door, but I'm glad i went because it was exactly what I needed. I have become really lazy with going out and meeting new people and I can't deny it makes me miss all of my friends in Montreal and just hanging out for a little while. I never considered Montreal a small city, but I guess we were pretty centrally located. i guess it would be the same as me moving to the west island or something. those people have an hour commute downtown as well!!!! So now, back to work and trying to just freeking enjoy myself. Why is that sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo hard!??????

Misery is addictive..... I'm officially in rehab.

2009-10-21T02:56:00.000-07:00

What an interesting week. I think I've been experiencing that weird now that you're done school and have achieved all the goals you originally set out for yourself what the HELLLLLL do you do with your life situation. Heavy, yup, you bet, but might as well be now as later. I've been waging an internal battle all week concerning the concept of free floating and why it would be such a goooooood thing for me to try and do right now. I've been so freeking focused on getting from one deadline to the next that now that I have no deadlines I'm a bit .......well..... lost. What do I do with myself? There's nothing I have to do. There are sooooooo many things that i could be doing here. It's maybe slightly overwhelming alllll this freedome! What to do with it? I keep having these moments of blind panick that i must not be doing Something correctly because just working full time as a public school teacher here seems way too simple. And then it dawned on me "THIS IS WHY PEOPLE HAVE HOBBIES!" as opposed to let's say procrastinating on my assignments by doing something else that wasn't them. I can do what ever i like and I don't have to feel guilty about it!!!!! Because I am alllllllll done my homework! NO WAY! It may seem strange, but there you go. So now it's a question of figuring out what do I like to do for me? Well have I not been saying that when I finish school and pay off my debts I would like to devote a lot of time to my art. well why not begin now. Clearly my work situation is such that I may reasonably be able to both work AND make art. Cheers! So, now is go time. I've joined a coupple artist collectives for expats in Seoul, but I've put some serious effort the last week into getting in touch with some of the head honchos to try and find out about any upcomming exhibition opportunities. I may have found one! We shall see. I have sent him some jpegs of my more recent work and hopefully I hear back soon. that would give me all the motivation I need to get back to work. I have some ideas.....

This past week I have had some good times. Last Wednesday I went to a soccer match at the world cup stadium. Cool! I felt like I was transported in a geeky fantasy way to J. K. Rowlings' "Quidditch world cup stadium". Funky, geeky, there you go! It was a riot, and I met some new English teachers! This past weekend, I set about finding myself a new pair of high heels for work. You have NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO idea how difficult it is to find a size 9 1/2 -10 high heel shoe in South Korea!!!!!! After visiting close to 15 shoe stores I'm sure, I finally admitted defeat and head to the tourist shopping district in Itaewon. There, I was not dissappointed and i am now the proud owner of two new pairs of super cute and well fitting high heels. Excellent! I also managed to get back to Insadong for the 3rd week in a row. Fabulous! My friend Grace and i discovered a quirky SECOND HAND clothing store with good quality and extremely clean and well organized second hand clothing. A lot of it is actually overstock and NEW! It's called the Beautiful Store, but I'm not saying how to get there because it's worth the adventure of trying to find it yourself. This week has been flying by. Yesterday I succeeded in making a roast chicken and veggies in a pot on my gas range! And people thought I was overzealous for bringing North American herbs and spices with me. Take that! This was for Deanna and Diana who bet that I couldn't cook as well as our host mom in Cuba Mayra. Well..... ok, I still have way to go to master stove top cooking, but it was pretty frikin' good none the less!

Today I climbed my second mountain with the grade 3 and 4 teachers departments. Let's just say that their promisses that it would be easier than my last climb were not an exageration. It was penuts in comparison with bloody rock mountain! But it was still beautiful! Afterwads we all went out to dinner at this amazing little restaurant. It was the best BBQ I've had since I've been in Korea, no joke. The best part was that the school picked up the tab. Excellent X2!! I was feeling slightly out of focus and homesick earlier this week, but the combination of the art show possibility, my successful chicken and climbing a mountain seemed to put me in a more positive mental state.

My improved mental state must have shown on my face or something because since then everyone has been smiling at me and saying "Hello!". The barista in the cafe here just offered me a free coffee! HA! So there you go, an improved attitude and a free drink. Another week, another series of adventures. They may be slightly more PG rated than a lot of people here, but there's still time ;)

Zen Buddhism, take II

2009-10-13T04:24:00.000-07:00

I took this sunday to begin reinvestigating my spiritual side and return to explore the Zen Buddhist Temple which I once knew so well as a child and have since almost forgotten. But I think real spirituality like knowing how to ride a bike can never be really lost but rather just becomes slightly rusty if not used or given much attention for quite some time. Well it's time to oil my spiritual gears again. It's only now, far away, without family close by and without the pressures of school or heaven forbit a secure place to live, that I feel abloe to take on this challenge. I was doing some reading on line about the Toronto Zen temple that I grew up in and I found it really interesting to see and read the information as an adult. I could make the connections with people and place and time, but everything was somehow scued. I really liked reading the biography about Samu Sunim. I never know that there was more than one Sunim. I thought he could be the only one really there was NO other ultimate being on this planet. And i consider myself a lucky little creature to have gotten to be around such a venerable person. www.zenbuddhisttemple.org

I managed to find this absolutely amazing Zen Centre here. The Hwagyesa International Zen Centre. This is no hokey temple stay for tourists. Practicing monks and individuals come here to study and for retreats from all over the planet. I would like to work my way up to be able to do a week long retreat here this winter. www.seoulzen.org The large draw is that they do offer services and meditation in English. This is a relief because it's been a long time since i was in a temple period never mind remembering how all of the services go. Strangely enough, or maybe not so strangly, it was not scarry at all to walk into this space and to ask where to go and to begin practicing once again. I did a small orientation with an Australian monk directing the meditation. And I remembered what it was to sit in real silence. I brought the prayer beeds that my mom had given me and i counted my beads with each breath in and out and I began to relax into meditation surrounded by the quiet of others doing the same thing. We sat, stretched and walked in meditation in cycles of 30, 3, 10 minutes for 2 hours!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was like getting into the zone where time goes by unnotticed and you wake up some time later feeling like you have just lost several hours of your life. Not quite as there is always a sense of accomplishment, of having done something worth while to you that you were able to focus on so deeply that ime somehow dissappeared from your consciousness and you were really able to live in the moment. IT WAS REALLLLLLLLY HARD! I mean reallly and by the end I was hurting all over from holding myself still for so long. After the sitting we heard a talk by the head monk. My BRAIN HURT A LOT ALSO BY THE END OF THAT ONE! :) :) :) Following the talk was fruit and tea with the monks and I thought to myself "this could really be a worthwhile way to spend Sunday" In a remote temple surrounded by good virtue and positive energy. what struck me most was how happy all of the monks seemed to be and how lightly they approached everything but also how deeply they observed and thought about everything. We are not used to strangers being so happy and welcoming \I think. We are in fact distrustful of such behavior in general. But I think I will make the effort to go back as much as I can and to take from it what I can also. On my way home I felt like I neeeeeded to talk to someone about this expreience, so i went over to Andrews' to chill out. We ended up talking to his parents (well they phoned and I was there so short of hiding out in the bathroom I had to be introduced.) LOL! Then we went over to the local convenience store to meet his friend Jo who is the owner! Hilarious guy! Educated in the UK, he is more British than Korean I find. Plus, knowing more Koreans who speek english well is really a good thing!

This week I have plans to go to a soccer match and possibly out to a brauhaus with some other SMOE teachers. I may also have a coffee date lined up with a new friend, but we shall see.

Cheeeers!

Settled?..... getting there.

2009-10-13T03:44:00.000-07:00

It has been 6 weeks since I arrived in Seoul which seems like an unbelievable long time considering it feels like I've only just got here. I also feel as though I am finally just beginning to really find my feet and be able to enjoy my time here. A combination of sleep, a relatively low stress job and lots of Kimchi seems to be doing me some good. I feel more relaxed right now than I have in over 2 years. That's a fact and I'm glad to say it. I feel as though I would have been soon sprouting grey hairs with all of the stress in my life. And frey hair at 25 is not particularly desirable. But my plan for revesring the signs of aging is to get happy and healthy and keep eating a lot of rice and sea-weed.

This past weekend was a right 'ol adventure once again. Last week I finally joined a gym. It rather old school and is TINY in comparison with the Downtown YMCA in Montreal, but the convenience factor of having it exactly 263 steps away from my house seems to outweigh say the fact that the eliptical trainer looks like it's from 1998. Friday night I went out afterr work with a bunch of SMOE teachers to hear some other teachers play a live set at "The Abby Road Pub". A tribute to a Brittish style pub (and the Beatles of course.) The set was good and the company was great! I realised that I hadn't seen a lot of these people since orientation and to be honest it made me a bit upset that I wasn't in a better state to go out and make more friends when I got here. I mean I can go around and be social with pretty much every new person i meet, but it seems like many "groups" for I don't know what else to call them have formed over the last weeks, and I suppose it will be more work to et into them at this point. Still I can try! I talked to a coupple people that I had thought were pretty cool at orientation but hadn't gotten their contact info. There was also the most adorable golden retreaver there to entertain us when the music was done. I ended up staying out too late and missed the last subway (bad). Thankfully I was able to crash at my friend Graces' appartment not too far away from the pub! Grace is another kick ass Canadian girl. She actually knows Paqtrick Jang from University, so we were sort of friends by connection right away as soon as we figured that one out. She mercifully had the largest bed that I've seen since I got here. Made my kids bed feel like a real joke. YAY for sleep! Not too hung over the next day, I headed to my favorite part of town "Insa-dong" to meet one of my favorite friends in Seoul, Andrew for a day of leisure. We met around noon and began our day by finding the most amazing many storied restaurant with an interior terrace. Table for two please! We shared a yummy beef bbq and then relaxed in the sun digesting our food and enjoying the warm day. Then we began out exploration of the many shops and art galleries in ernest. I found another amazingly cute pair of handcrafted earings ar Samzie Market and Andrew felt compelled to buy himself a pair of 13000 Won boxers and a nice traditional Korean tea cup (very pretty). OK! We also went to a coupple good shows at the Insa Art Center as well as a coupple other spots. Most of the art was ok, some of it was good a lot of it was not so good. But still worth while. Then we had a delicious coffee on a roof top patio and soaked up more afternoon sun. MMMMMMMMMMMM....... On our way back down the street, we came to a free family oriented open air concert which randomly featured a cast of opera singers! Deliciously random and awsome! Then Andrew had to go and meet some other friends for a houswarming party and I headed home to rest. I was at my transfer at Suseo, when I came accross this really cool littel clothing store which when I looked closer had all these american and european designers stuch between some truely hideous polyester clothing. I managed to snag myself 3 new work dresses, 1 sweater, 1 shirt, and 2 new coats for 45,000! AwSoMe!!!! I maintain my status as the ultimate bargain shopper! I also picked up a 4,000W coppy of "Casablanca". Classic! It was even better than I remembered. "Here's lookin' at you kid!"